461.
Spiritual Gifts, the Beloved Community, and Covenant (by Emily
Provance; 2020)
About the Author—Emily Provance is a member of 15th Street Mee- ting & thinks of NYC as home, though she now travels in the ministry full time Provance; 2020)
with the support of her meeting & Good News Associates. She understands the Religious Society to be a covenant community & has spent time with Friends from Kenya, Belize, Britain, Ireland, Tanzania, Palestine, Mexico, Peru,& the US. Her travel minute is [well-traveled].
[Introduction]—In 2002, I stage-managed a play called Archipelago, about the Russian gulag. I loved this play, loved the challenge of managing it, & especially loved a slower part of the play, a monologue by "Nina." "Nadya" was dying & asked Nina to tell her about angels. Nina said, "[They look] like the sun when it comes through crystal. They sparkle, dance & play ... Their wings are like rainbows, bright & colorful ... They'll clap their hands & show their great wings ... They'll carry you & put you at God's feet. You will live with him forever & be happy." This passage speaks to a longing within me, to home coming, rejoicing, & being close to God.
[Finding & Becoming a Quaker]—I became a Quaker on 10/10/10. I celebrate my anniversary annually, because I looked for [these people] for 17 years. My childhood faith tradition taught that God spoke to 1 man at a time. It was that man's job to tell what God said; it never seemed right. Surely God [would find a method not dependent on one man interpreting a message right for many different people]; it didn't seem the smart way to do it. I didn't agree with many religious traditions' exclusiveness. The 1-pathway business seemed absurd.
I started looking for a faith tradition when I was 10 years old. I knew the whole time that I was looking for something that said "God talks to everybody, & nobody knows the one & only Truth." It took me [a long time] before I found the Quakers, who aren't present enough in theological circles for me to have learned of them. My 1st meeting was totally silent, and I wasn't able to learn anything. In the 2nd one, a man said a bunch of stuff, & "There is that of God in everyone." That was it; I knew I was home.
My longing wasn't just to know that God talks to everybody. If that was all I needed, I wouldn't need to find a people. I needed more than God talking to me & I didn't know it, but God did & interceded. God talks to all, but God tells different people different things. God gives me a piece, you a piece, & another a piece, & expects us to learn how to play well together— cove- nant's beginning. Covenant is giving our selves to God & God, in turn, giving us to a group of people, a covenant community. For some of these, this means God's will as written in commandments, but in Quakerism, it means God's will as constantly revealed. On 10/10/10, my people accepted me & I accepted them, from my local meeting through each succeeding level to include the whole Society.
My longing wasn't just to know that God talks to everybody. If that was all I needed, I wouldn't need to find a people. I needed more than God talking to me & I didn't know it, but God did & interceded. God talks to all, but God tells different people different things. God gives me a piece, you a piece, & another a piece, & expects us to learn how to play well together— cove- nant's beginning. Covenant is giving our selves to God & God, in turn, giving us to a group of people, a covenant community. For some of these, this means God's will as written in commandments, but in Quakerism, it means God's will as constantly revealed. On 10/10/10, my people accepted me & I accepted them, from my local meeting through each succeeding level to include the whole Society.
In Archipelago, angels "look like the sun when it comes through a cry- stal"; light through a prism. The Light within us shines through us differently, [all colors of the spectrum]. Unless they all come together you never see the complete spectrum. In reality, [we argue about who is what part of the spec- trum, & do we really need all of the spectrum]. If God asks us to build the Kingdom of God, then God has probably given us the great wings attributed to angels in the play. What are the "great wings" God has given us to show others in service? Perhaps we show our "great wings," our God-given gifts as: organizers, pray-ers, workers, carers, innovators, provocateurs, healers, those with a huge capacity to love.
[Great Wings= Spiritual Gifts]—Jan Wood names 24 gifts using bibli- cal language. Here are a few favorites with a brief definition: Mercy, ability & desire to alleviate suffering; giving, desire to pour out resources; exorcism, liberating from systemic oppression; helps, ability to provide assistance to those in a leadership role; apostleship, ability & authority to care for & lead groups; naming, i.e. naming a gift we see manifest in a person. [Author alludes to a scene from Madeleine L'Engle's Wind in the Door], where Meg has to pick out the real Mr. Jenkins from 2 fallen angels masquerading as Mr. Jenkins.
One Jenkins was extremely kind, another is strict & rude. The 3rd wasn't very warm & fuzzy; this is the real Mr. Jenkins. Meg doesn't like Mr. Jenkins. It's Meg's job to see Mr. Jenkins, really see him. She sees him & Names him, with a capital N, & the fallen angels fly away. How have you ex- perienced being Named? We can also be Named when someone sees our condition or when someone recognizes our pains or when someone expres- ses love for us [in particular]. To be known in this way, I think, is essential to our well-being. God made us and consecrated us & crafted our great wings.
[God's regard for us is different]. In my experience, there is a sort of loneliness that can be addressed only by another breathing human being in the flesh. In the group God gives us to, it is our responsibility to see one another, Name one another, & drive away loneliness. I also find parts of [being in] covenant terrible, like when I'm expected to come over for dinner and I'm more in the mood to sit at home, or when others hurt me with their mistakes and I'm expected to forgive. Or when I did something wrong 6 months ago and someone is still ticked off about it. I really don't like regularly putting up with someone doing little things that get under my skin.
In the summer of 2016, my dear friend Kelly had a heart attack at YM while in her 40's. [Because of the long-standing covenant community of YM, all sorts of people, with all sorts of "great wings," spiritual gifts, including a paramedic, pastoral care, & pray-ers, were sought out, & brought together to support Kelly & her family in dealing with this crisis. My particular "wings" were having a relationship with Kelly and Kelly's 2 small children, and because I am the person who steps in and maintains a sense of normalcy and continuity in times of emergency. Each of us made right use of their gifts in this crisis. We had Named each other long before that day.
[Full-time Traveling Ministry]—At January 2019's end, I gave up main- taining a permanent home. In the next 4 months, Backpack & I visited about 45 groups of Friends in 4 countries. It's not only individuals who carry parti- cular gifts; whole meetings carry glorious gifts. Meeting attributes & interests include: loyalty; prayer; hospitality & cooking; extraordinary humor; decoloni- zing Christian culture; love of neighborhood community. Attributes also include extreme efficiency; beautiful gardening; proficient dealing with mental health issues; praise & helping one another; community development & work & change.
It's harder to Name our gifts as communities than to Name our gifts as individuals. We often don't have anything to compare ourselves to. We may think what's natural, easy & joyful for us must surely be the same for every- one—but that's not the case. Whether we are coming together with a wider group of Friends for business or socially, neither of these relationships is a real expression of covenant. How do we build the kingdom of God on Earth in the larger sense, with the entire Society of Friends?
If we're really a covenant people, then we need to know ourselves as that & build genuine relationships together. How do you & your meeting react to a meeting-for-business crisis & its resolution? In times of crisis, the human brain releases endorphins, which increases our tolerance for all kinds of pain. Endorphins stick around for a couple days before ebbing away; we are left feeling we have bonded. A crisis-endorphins-relief cycle is dramatic & addictive. Within the infrequent meetings of our larger, spread-out groups, we might even, unconsciously, begin to seek threats in an effort to experi- ence that feeling again. This isn't healthy, & its not of God.
If we're really a covenant people, then we need to know ourselves as that & build genuine relationships together. How do you & your meeting react to a meeting-for-business crisis & its resolution? In times of crisis, the human brain releases endorphins, which increases our tolerance for all kinds of pain. Endorphins stick around for a couple days before ebbing away; we are left feeling we have bonded. A crisis-endorphins-relief cycle is dramatic & addictive. Within the infrequent meetings of our larger, spread-out groups, we might even, unconsciously, begin to seek threats in an effort to experi- ence that feeling again. This isn't healthy, & its not of God.
Crisis bonding [involves 3 chemicals, [2 neurotransmitters & 1 hormone], The transmitters in the brain] are endorphins & dopamine; [the hormone] for group social bonds is oxytocin. Endorphins are triggered by trauma, exercise, laughter, music, & chocolate, & cause us to feel friendly & helpful. Dopamine is triggered by exercise or music, [& promotes bonding]. Release of oxytocin can be influenced by laughter, exercise, music, & hugs, & can create calmness & closeness. If we really hope to be bonded together as a community, we need to spend more time together, with less time spent on crisis, business, & more exercise, laughter, music, hugs, & chocolate.
Neither crisis bonding, nor bonding based on feeling good together, is actually our ultimate goal; it's not what God asks of us. Building the kingdom of God that God is calling us toward is moving toward a world where God's love for all God's children reigns supreme and each living things is perceived as having infinite value. How do we get from crisis bonding to [good feeling together], to the kingdom of God on Earth?
[Community Stewardship of Spiritual Gifts]—There are 6 steps to community stewardship of spiritual gifts: Naming; Claiming; Consecrating; Developing; Exercising; & Receiving the Fruits. When I think about Claiming, I think about David & Jeremiah. David was presented as a little shepherd boy, & Goliath was a big scary giant. But David had a track record of chasing after lions & bears while watching his flock. He acknowledged God as the source of his protection, but also knew [his own track record], that he was ready & prepared. It was only the people around him who doubted him.
Compare this to Jeremiah, who was also very young when he was called to serve God; his reaction was: No, No, No, heck no, God what are you thinking? [Actually he said, " Alas, sovereign, Lord, I do know how to speak, I am so young]." Jeremiah's reaction was less "Here I am, Lord!" and more "I'm hiding under the table now, Lord." How do we claim our gifts like David, like Jeremiah, or a little of both? In naming, claiming, and consecrating, once a gift is recognized, & accepted, we hold it in prayer & turn it over to God.
Neither crisis bonding, nor bonding based on feeling good together, is actually our ultimate goal; it's not what God asks of us. Building the kingdom of God that God is calling us toward is moving toward a world where God's love for all God's children reigns supreme and each living things is perceived as having infinite value. How do we get from crisis bonding to [good feeling together], to the kingdom of God on Earth?
[Community Stewardship of Spiritual Gifts]—There are 6 steps to community stewardship of spiritual gifts: Naming; Claiming; Consecrating; Developing; Exercising; & Receiving the Fruits. When I think about Claiming, I think about David & Jeremiah. David was presented as a little shepherd boy, & Goliath was a big scary giant. But David had a track record of chasing after lions & bears while watching his flock. He acknowledged God as the source of his protection, but also knew [his own track record], that he was ready & prepared. It was only the people around him who doubted him.
Compare this to Jeremiah, who was also very young when he was called to serve God; his reaction was: No, No, No, heck no, God what are you thinking? [Actually he said, " Alas, sovereign, Lord, I do know how to speak, I am so young]." Jeremiah's reaction was less "Here I am, Lord!" and more "I'm hiding under the table now, Lord." How do we claim our gifts like David, like Jeremiah, or a little of both? In naming, claiming, and consecrating, once a gift is recognized, & accepted, we hold it in prayer & turn it over to God.
We have reason to fear that our covenant people will actually prevent us from doing those things. To receive powerful ministry is demanding; we can transform or cover our ears. What will it cost to be transformed? Who are we going to be asked to be? How will we recognize ourselves? Covenant [community] means expecting our carers to care, pray-ers to pray, speakers to speak, prophets to prophesy, healers to heal, leaders to lead, holding them & ourselves accountable when they don't. Where are we trying to shut down God's Light?
I often think about the difference between Jesus & Paul. Jesus of Naza- reth told us, "Love one another," 3 words. The apostle Paul took about 34,000 words to try to explain what "love one another" means. Jesus was inspiring people to start a movement and Paul was organizing a church from a cove- nant people. Organizing leads to institutions, which are essential to support groups of human being doing particular things. Without the institutions, we have to start from scratch every time we're led to do something. Our institu- tion's rules, processes, hand-book, committees are not the will of God. They are how we do things.
I often think about the difference between Jesus & Paul. Jesus of Naza- reth told us, "Love one another," 3 words. The apostle Paul took about 34,000 words to try to explain what "love one another" means. Jesus was inspiring people to start a movement and Paul was organizing a church from a cove- nant people. Organizing leads to institutions, which are essential to support groups of human being doing particular things. Without the institutions, we have to start from scratch every time we're led to do something. Our institu- tion's rules, processes, hand-book, committees are not the will of God. They are how we do things.
We have created rules that suit [the dominant demographic(s)]. It's nor- mal to do this. The question comes when we ask whether we are willing to notice the ways in which we have done this and then change so we can serve others. How do we engage with our behavioral norms with an under- standing of how behavioral norms are not uniform across racial, age and economic groups? I made learning the complicated systems in local meeting, YM's, Friends General Conference, Friends United Meeting, Friends World Committee for Consultation my full time job, because I felt led by God to do so.
When someone is led to new work on behalf of the body, it takes often weeks, months, or years to get pieces in place, [because all the committees involved meet at different times and intervals that end up stretching out the process. When institutional delay extinguishes one spark, that's sad. When it puts out sparks routinely, that's a spiritual crisis. This happens more often to younger members, active parents, full-time workers, those without transporta- tion or technology, and inexperienced members. [This part of the process is] stopping Christ's mouth, [& is certainly not] building the kingdom of God. The institution supports us, makes it possible for the community to do God's will; it's not God's will. Carrying out God's will is ministry.
[Call to Ministry]—Any one of us could be called to ministry at any time, if we're open to the possibility. What are our expectations that we or someone in our communities might be led to travel, teach or engage in radical witness? We can't possibly see the world's condition & think God's work is done.
[Call to Ministry]—Any one of us could be called to ministry at any time, if we're open to the possibility. What are our expectations that we or someone in our communities might be led to travel, teach or engage in radical witness? We can't possibly see the world's condition & think God's work is done.
William serves his church in Kenya in a quiet, unassuming way. [He brings] schoolbooks & fabric to put in 2 windows to block the strongest gales. He sweeps out the church, straightens long school desks, erases the board, replenishes the chalk, finds the erasers, sharpens the pencils, does needed repair. During a school of 2 teachers & many children, he stands by, still & silent; he interacts with a child when necessary. He gathers the children at the end of school for a Bible story. At an English school, 11-year-old Lexie, a trained peer counselor guides other children through finding just solutions to conflicts, by having them explore their feelings & what needs to happen to "make it right."
I rode on a bus to North Carolina that had to pull over on a hot Tuesday afternoon. We have to get off the bus and wait for help a long time. After a couple hours, at 4:30, Marcy pulls over and unloads a back seat full of granola bars, chips and water bottles. The mechanic comes but is unable to fix the bus right away. Marcy returns with 24 pepperoni pizzas. I take Marci aside and ask her who she is and why she did this. She replied: "I believe that when people don't get enough kindness, what they are left with is fear, which becomes hate. So when I get the chance, I put kindness in the world. These are stories of ministry & of building the kingdom of God on Earth.
Each minister needs support & guidance from a group. As I travel in ministry, I get questions about ministry. I find talking about ministry is part of ministry. An old sacred practice is re-emerging & we don't always know how to respond, how both old & new traditions will work in the 21st century. Most questions I hear are about how my meeting handles my ministry, about travel minute, communication, financial support, clearness & support committees, recorded ministry. If your meeting is trying to supporting ministry, whatever the your support's status, please reach out to other meetings who are also trying to support ministry. We have lessons to learn from one another. Whatever you are focusing on, reach out to a meeting having a reputation for that specialty.
A couple of times, I was able to pass on information about a Quaker school. Either the person who benefited or the person who provided more of the information requested was a Friend I had never met. When someone came to me with a negative story of how they were treated years ago in a Quaker meeting, I apologized. Because the people who hurt her—they were my people, and I'm responsible for them. This is also covenant. We're all standing in the parking lot with 3 Jenkinses, 3 ways of relating as a group, trying to find the genuine one, that's present, not simple, often unpleasant, & absolutely real.
I rode on a bus to North Carolina that had to pull over on a hot Tuesday afternoon. We have to get off the bus and wait for help a long time. After a couple hours, at 4:30, Marcy pulls over and unloads a back seat full of granola bars, chips and water bottles. The mechanic comes but is unable to fix the bus right away. Marcy returns with 24 pepperoni pizzas. I take Marci aside and ask her who she is and why she did this. She replied: "I believe that when people don't get enough kindness, what they are left with is fear, which becomes hate. So when I get the chance, I put kindness in the world. These are stories of ministry & of building the kingdom of God on Earth.
Each minister needs support & guidance from a group. As I travel in ministry, I get questions about ministry. I find talking about ministry is part of ministry. An old sacred practice is re-emerging & we don't always know how to respond, how both old & new traditions will work in the 21st century. Most questions I hear are about how my meeting handles my ministry, about travel minute, communication, financial support, clearness & support committees, recorded ministry. If your meeting is trying to supporting ministry, whatever the your support's status, please reach out to other meetings who are also trying to support ministry. We have lessons to learn from one another. Whatever you are focusing on, reach out to a meeting having a reputation for that specialty.
A couple of times, I was able to pass on information about a Quaker school. Either the person who benefited or the person who provided more of the information requested was a Friend I had never met. When someone came to me with a negative story of how they were treated years ago in a Quaker meeting, I apologized. Because the people who hurt her—they were my people, and I'm responsible for them. This is also covenant. We're all standing in the parking lot with 3 Jenkinses, 3 ways of relating as a group, trying to find the genuine one, that's present, not simple, often unpleasant, & absolutely real.
Some of us came into Quakerism without any understanding of cove- nant. A conversation about covenant people & the reality of that experience is not a conversation we've had with new members. [Which of the imposter "covenants" have we settled for]? The "warm fuzzy" meeting or the "rules, processes, handbooks, & committees" meeting. Or are we the one that's fully present, genuine, and real, even if not always enjoyable? How are we ready to Name, Claim, Consecrate, Develop, and Exercise our gifts as a cove- nant people? And finally, how will we receive the fruits and pray for all of creation to receive those fruits?
One night in 2002, at my favorite "angel" part of Archipelago, I heard choral music. I 1st thought it was coming from another theater. I asked several people if they heard it; they didn't. Nobody heard it but me. Angels. That's what I know it was. It was God saying, "I'm here. Pay attention. I'm speaking." ["Angels look] like the sun when it comes through crystal. They sparkle, dance & play ... Their wings are like rainbows, bright & colorful ... They'll clap their hands & show their great wings ... They'll carry you & put you at God's feet. You will live with him forever & be happy." God is here. We are at God's feet. What are we going to do next?
Queries—What is your understanding of covenant community? What gifts do you bring to the community? What gifts are found among members of your meeting? How are gifts recognized/ Named, nurtured & grown into? How can we build covenant across communi- ties and the whole Society? How might a community block or deny a member's spiritual gifts?
How do we hold our selves accountable to our covenant relation- ship? What do we need to change to better support people's lea- dings & ministry & allow true faithfulness to the Spirit's movement? How do you envision the kingdom of God on Earth, among us? Which pieces of the vision & reality do you carry? What pieces do you see in others?
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462. A Culture of Faithfulness (by Marcelle Martin; 2020)
About the Author—Marcelle Martin believes Quakers are called to play a crucial role in the human transformation needed in our time. Since 1996 she has been leading courses and retreats on Quaker practices, his- tory, & spiritual journey at Pendle Hill's, the School of the Spirit's Way's, and New England YM's programs. She has written 2 books and 2 Pendle Hill Pamphlets (#366, Invitation to a Deeper Communion; 382. Holding one another in the Light). She has served as a spiritual nurturer for more than 2 decades.
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462. A Culture of Faithfulness (by Marcelle Martin; 2020)
About the Author—Marcelle Martin believes Quakers are called to play a crucial role in the human transformation needed in our time. Since 1996 she has been leading courses and retreats on Quaker practices, his- tory, & spiritual journey at Pendle Hill's, the School of the Spirit's Way's, and New England YM's programs. She has written 2 books and 2 Pendle Hill Pamphlets (#366, Invitation to a Deeper Communion; 382. Holding one another in the Light). She has served as a spiritual nurturer for more than 2 decades.
[Introduction]—In
order for our lives to testify to the Divine Reality, we need to root
our testimony in the Spirit's divine healing power. We are called to
live &
model a culture of faithfulness—collectively supporting one another
in attending to the Spirit's
movement—to counter a Western culture obsessed with material
reality, possessions, &
profit. Quaker &
other Spirit-fill groups have provided [&
can provide] impetus for big
changes in human culture in these times of big change, if we practice
radical openness to the Spirit &
deep faithfulness. It requires awareness of &
receptivity to divine guidance, &
wil- lingness to become agents of God's loving
power. Humanity is being guided toward well-being for everyone,
if only we will listen &
follow divine guidance.
The
1st Quakers learned practices that allowed transforming power of a
fountain of Spirit to flow through them. Experiencing immersion in God's presence within themselves, created deep spiritual bonds
that empowered them to support leadings of the Spirit that rose
among them & beyond them. Faithfulness requires deep inward
immersion in the Spirit & courageous risk- taking action to the
world. We have continued to build on practices & commu- nity 1st
Friends discovered. If we take time-honored practice seriously, we can surrender more to the inward-springing fountain of Life &
Love. We can be more effective at creating a culture of faithfulness
in the society around us, by being a powerful spiritual force today
for justice, healing, & a restored earth.
Nurturing
Awareness of the Divine Presence—There
is a Divine Reality that we are intimately connected to &
which communicates to us within. Divine Reality guides us to
particular tasks &
life circumstances. The
spiritu- ally sensitive pay careful attention to Divine Reality, can
sense genuine lea- ding in others, &
can nurture leadings. Faithfulness
begins with noticing & attending to the Spirit's
promptings, even when they differ from our ideas
& preferences. Sustained action must be from the Spirit's
wellspring & rooted in the divine source.
Creating
a spirit-led community begins by helping people be aware of the
sacred reality that permeates and sustains the world. Opening to
Divine Reality requires regular spiritual practice, both alone and in
community. The more often we devote to prayer, meditation,
devotional reading, and calming physical practices, [the more aware
we can be of subtle inner experiences, & learn Spirit's language.
Gathering with others "who believe God still speaks directly to
them" in worship is a great aid in opening to a direct encounter
with Divine Presence.
Sitting
with these others helps "kindle" everyone's worship experience. When most present feel a spiritual quickening & a
sense of being joined together in sacred communion with one another &
with God, the meeting is "gathered." They sense the deeper
reality in which we live, interconnected with each other & united
with all-pervading Divine Presence. Sometimes a unified message from
God is delivered through several people who rise to speak. Spiritual
nourishment is as necessary for a life of faithfulness as food is for physical life.
Religious
Education—For many Quaker
meetings, gathered meetings are rare. Perhaps we aren't fully
submitting ourselves to [embracing] the ways God leads us in matters
requiring courage & sacrifice. As
a religious society, like our
culture, we have been gradually drifting toward functional atheism,
losing our ability to recognize &
trust in Divine Light that is present &
active within us &
the world. To be Spirit-filled, faithful people, more is required
than an hour of meeting for worship on a Sunday morning; religious
education is critical.
We
need to know spiritual nourishment is possible & how it's
possible; inward openness of the mind, heart, & soul is
necessary. Openness allows for experiencing Divine
living presence. Western society teaches people to dis- trust &
disregard the Spirit's movement, to conform to narrow patterns of be- lief & behavior. Conformity is unconscious & difficult to
recognize & over- come. The Spirit asks people to take risks &
witness to alternatives based on divine wisdom, love, & justice.
Bible-based vocal ministry in early Friend's long meetings for
worship provided rich education in Quaker faith & practice. Religious education today needs to provide Bible stories &
accounts of faith ful Quakers, which can help us consider our
participation in, & response to today's evils.
Many
courageously faithful today will only reveal their lives' inner
dimensions & the nature of their service or witness if encouraged
by commu- nity. [It is important that such people's stories are
shared]. Knowing we are part of a larger story, with Divine Reality
at the center, invites us to a more Spirit- filled life. It is also
vital to know God gives us leadings to take actions in relation to
personal circumstances & larger social ones. Our faith commu- nity needs to teach young & old how to enter into awareness of the peaceful state that is our true essence.
David
Hartsough grew up in a family & community which lived faith
courageously. That & participating in Quaker inner-city workcamps
prompted him to seek to eliminate social injustices. These
experiences led David to experience an unexpected leading. In
silence & solitary worship at a meeting house, he experienced
"deep clarity, as if the Great Spirit were speaking." He
received guidance to enroll in historically black Howard College,
even though he had been accepted at a white Quaker college, which his
mother wanted him to attend.
In sophomore year Hartsough transferred
to Howard as its only white student. He joined fellow Howard students
in the sit-in movement's launching & picketed with them in front
of a D.C. Woolworth's. When arrested they sat in jail until Monday,
then returned to their classes after court appearances; David
continues to work for peace & justice.
Growing
in Discernment— The
Spirit's genuine
leadings must be dis-tinguished from inner &
outer voices that crowd minds &
hearts. Friends [in
community] will help each other discern among different promptings &
impul- ses. Practicing discernment is 1st applied to vocal ministry.
How is this a message from Spirit? How is this something to be
kept in or spoken aloud? When is it to be shared? How did you
feel while speaking & afterwards? How did you add [worldly
words] to the Spiritual words? How were you faithful?
When
we gather to discern God's guidance for faith-community busi- ness, we
are invited to let go of ideas & desires about decisions being
made in order to "hear" the Spirit as it speaks through the
meeting's members. In Spirit, Friends can be gathered into unity
about a decision. It often comes when love for each other, its
connecting one to others, becomes more important than a certain
outcome. Peace might be accompanied by silence, awe, or quiet joy. In such experiences we encounter God's unseen power & grow in discernment & faithfulness.
Spiritual
Companionship—Growth
in the spiritual life requires others'
input. Quakerism emphasizes
that direct relationship exists between each person &
God. Friends have found spiritual companionship helpful in opening to
direct relationship &
sorting the Spirit's
leadings from other promptings. In spiritual friendship, 2 people
take
time to talk about inner life
informally, or in regular meetings &
a process called "spiritual nurture" or "direction."
Seasoned Friends, or elders,
play a role in cultivating faith &
faithfulness of meeting community.
Serving
on meeting committees & sharing care for our community's
life can be an important spiritual practice. Communicating clearly &
lovingly, for- giving, &
sharing tasks are powerful ways to invite Spirit to be active.
Many feel a need to be
in ongoing small groups supporting
attention to inner life [e.g. study of Bible, Quaker pamphlets,
Faith &
Practice; Experiment
with Light groups. Over time, groups can be places where people
reveal inner lives to one another & receive support, greater awareness of God's presence &
acti- vity among them.
Clearness
Committees—Historically,
clearness committees, have been used for [clarifying &
verifying spiritual truth in
a person's relationship]
in membership, marriage, recorded ministry, or traveling in ministry.
In the 1960's, it became more common for individuals
to ask for a clearness committee to help discern divine guidance
about a momentous decision. 3
to 7 people gather to help the focus person look at the issue from
different perspectives, while seeking the Spirit's leading.
Committee members ask questions,
[not necessarily looking for immediate answers]; everyone listens
prayerfully & [newly revealed truths are
spoken]. Awareness of inner voices speaking out of fear, ego, "family
or cultural tapes" rather than out of the "still, small
voice of God," may arise.
Spiritual
leadings often require things that differ from the status quo;
resistance is normal at first. Clarity coming from clearness
committee is some- times surprising; its truth is affirmed in the
heart. [Affirmations we receive from committee aren't always those
we expect; they may reveal a soul's desire different from our
original understanding]. When a person's soul reveals its truth,
clearness committees sense they are on holy ground.
Supporting
Calls, Leadings, & Ministry—[If
a
leading to service be- comes several along the same line], it might be
seen
as a call [to ministry].
Quakers testify
that all are called to ministry. Outside the meetinghouse,
each person is called to participate in Spirit-led ministry of
truth-telling &
service, depending on their spiritual gifts. If we act faithfully,
thoughts, words, &
actions can be full of
divine grace. Individual
leadings
to ministry include: religious
education; spiritual nurture; or witness for [environmental], racial &
economic justice.
A meeting may be called to support or participate
in the ministry; this is taking the ministry "under its care."
Yearly meetings of Friends
differ in their procedures for discerning, recognizing, naming, &
supporting leadings or calls. The practice of recognizing calls to
ministry had fallen into disuse during the 20th
century. Since 1996, [several] meetings have recognized & now
support the calls, leadings and ministries of their members,
beginning the process with a clearness committee for the person
called.
I
was in my 30's and new to Quakerism when I began to feel I needed to ask my meeting to recognize my call to a ministry of spiritual
nurture; I was afraid to do so for months. My appointed clearness
committee, with one mem- ber specifically chosen for the doubts he had,
researched how other monthly meetings responded to requests similar
to mine. I met privately with the skeptic, who said I was neither a
polished speaker nor "enlightened."
In the next meeting, I
admitted to having no academic training in mini- stry, and no
continuous sense of connection or communion with God. I still felt
called by the Spirit to this service. By our 3rd meeting, the
committee was in unity about the genuineness of this call. [Once the
person has clarity that they are being led], the meeting must discern
if it is led, in turn, to take this ministry under its care. What
forms of recognition or support are needed from a meeting
supporting someone who has reached clarity on their call to service?
Supporting
Faithful Action—Faithfulness
is more than
being clear about a leading; it moves us into action. Once a
ministry is taken under the meeting care's, a committee is often
appointed to meet regularly with the per- son following the leading to
provide support, oversight, &
ongoing discernment. Meetings with several ministries under its care
may have a committee set up to serve two or more Friends.
Oversight
is listening to those following a leading or carrying a ministry,
helping them discern when to say yes to a next step & how to prepare for service. Their questions reveal what is needed, what is resisted, what is run- ning ahead of the Guide. Serving on an
Oversight Committee is a profound spiritual learning process, a witness to another's deep encounter with God, and an active role in God's ministry. It helps
clarify committee members' own calls and leadings.
Overcoming
Impediments to Faithfulness—Members
of an intimate spiritual community serve as mirrors, helping
each other to see both shadow &
brightness within, &
to distinguish one from the other. The
1st Quakers were shocked by the pervasive influence of greed &
fear on society, &
how their own conformity to many of those norms was a kind of
resistance to God. Today
many use psychological terms for the self-deception, the many
obstacles formed in or created by our self.
Whatever we call these
deviations from love, truth, &
justice, we are all in need of healing &
transformation. Most
experience deep conflict between our yearnings for truth &
faithfulness &
our cravings for acceptance, status, comfort &
control. We need help
noticing what's going on inside, &
a com- munal space where we feel safe to uncover, look at, &
explore the ways fear controls so much of our thinking &
behavior. We need help recognizing the presence and activity of God in our lives. We need to be vulnerable, open to God's healing & to expression of God's love through us in humble, courage- ous ways.
Meeting
Support for Individual Action—Falmouth
Preparative Mee- ting has supported the climate change ministry &
witness of Jay O'Hara for years. He says, "[Committee members]
make me drill down into [my
leadings] in a way that's really loving." He appreciates his
committee saying no to things
they sense aren't
Spirit-led. They supported
O'Hara and a friend as they staged a protest of carbon emission, by blocking a coal delivery to Brayton Point Power Station, which was one of the biggest sources of carbon
emis- sions in the Northeast.
They
made a "necessity defense" using the testimony of climate
scien- tists. Criminal charges were dropped and O'Hara and Ward, made
restitution to local & state police for the expense of dealing with
their boat. 400 people
protested the coal-burning power plant; 44 were arrested. When asked
if he considered himself an "environmentalist" or
a "climate activist," O'Hara answered, "I am a Quaker
... I believe there are still powerful forces of history to be
unleashed ... for the revealing of new ways of being in the world, of
our relation to the earth and to one another. We need people's whole
hearts and full commitment."
[Meeting
Support for Individual Action: A Call to Bosnia]—Lyndon
Back needed to understand the collapse of a 400 year-old bridge
connecting
Christians &
Muslims. She experienced a concern, a need to pay attention to
the
genocide in the former Yugoslavia. Back
felt led to sponsor a Muslim
girl &
host her &
a Serb on weekends away from Quaker boarding school. Back was invited
by the students' families to visit. A
clearness committee helped her dis- cern she was being led to go,
learn, & listen; her meeting approved her
travel letter.
Her
committee members prayed for her while
she was in the former Yugoslavia. In morning meditation &
prayer, Back connected again &
again with her leading's
spiritual source. She visited families of many
different ethnic groups; she helped a mixed marriage family. Back
home, a dream-voice
told
her to return to Bosnia. Her
clearness committee felt led to become an over- sight committee. She
quit her job &
volunteered with the Balkan
Peace Teams. She was part of
a small team that supported young peace activists working
all sides of the conflict. After US & NATO crushed local peace
efforts in bombing Kosovo, Back traveled the world to describe what
she had wit- nessed. She still speaks to
Quakers about following
leadings, peace work & the complexities of war.
Faithfulness
Groups—Those Friends desiring
to be faithful to the call or leading they have received can form
"faithfulness groups," peer groups, or accountability
groups, which are all a sort of mutual clearness committee. They
devote 1 hour each to 2 people when they meet. The focus person talks
for 15 minutes. Then the group, as moved by the Spirit, asks
questions that clarify for
the focus person their
leading. Most get to be focus person 4 times a year.
A faithfulness
group, with growing, intimate knowledge of each other, reminds
members of their leadings, draws attention to recurring stumbling
blocks, distractions, and missteps, and helps people find the path
again. It is possible for people of different faiths
to form such a group. If any groups veers into problem-solving,
advice-giving, or story-telling, a convener gently reminds them of
the [spiritual, clarifying-question aspect] of the group.
Participants
receive prayer attention &
companionship to remind them of God's presence.
In
my group, something in my heart relaxes & opens wider when people
talk about God-experiences or listen lovingly when I speak. Revealing
fears, hurts, and resistance helps us allow God to heal us. Monthly
gatherings are a profound spiritual practice. We have supported each
in a variety of settings, from meeting business to parenting to
activism to presenting workshops. Oversight
or faithfulness groups, through questions &
listening, prayer & encouragement, &
especially through love, provide holy accompaniment & help us learn to allow God to be active within us. Gradually, we give
over more control of our Self
and our lives to the Spirit, and we abide more constantly in the Eternal Being, becoming more surrendered and
more alive to the ways God calls us.
Support
for Faithfulness beyond the Meeting—Meetings
desiring spiritual vitality can
be transformed
by supporting
members taking part
in workshops &
long-term spiritual &
faith-nurturing programs. Meetings
hold themselves accountable for a
leadings by sending members to take
part in gatherings or groups
with that focus. US Quakers, divided by theology but united in
leading, joined in 1917 to
form American Friends Service Committee (AFSC). During &
after WWI &
WWII, AFSC joined with British Friends Service Council in
war reconstruction & in feeding children. The 2 groups shared
vision, experience, & spiritual guidance in action.
In
recent years, Friends of African Descent in Philadelphia had a
leading to create a peace center in the inner-city. They created the
Ujima Peace Cen- ter in North Philadelphia. The Center reduced
violence, provided a safe place for people in the community, peace
training for children, classes on tenants rights, & a monthly
food give-away. On Sundays, several local meetings came together at Ujima for a community meeting for worship.
In
2019, AFSC organized an interfaith witness to protest the border wall
being built by the US government. Together they publicly witnessed to
their conviction that strangers are to be welcomed & treated with
dignity. Lucy Duncan said: "[We need] to be the courageous many
... We won't get home to a transformed world unless we can [go]
together ... Now is the time for all of us to ... take risks of faith
to make real the society we envision & know is possi-
ble." Many Friends took part in the People's March on Washington (1963), the Poor People's March (2018), & the protest for clean water &
preserving sacred land at Standing Rock Sioux Reservation.
A
Community Formed for Faithfulness—We
need to know our Self better &
become deeply intimate with God. We need quiet receptivity to divine
love &
guidance, &
to hear stories of faith &
transformation [as
calls
to faith- fulness].
We need spiritual friendships or groups to support spiritual growth,
[&
to help strengthen resolve] when God's way differs from cultural
norms. Those not called to
demonstrate in the streets or travel in the ministry are called to
support those who are, & those led in other ways. We may be
called to live more simply.
Faithfulness
begins with willingness to shift motivation to the divine
per- spective, not the human urges of isolated selves. When we testify
to & embody sacred Divine Reality within us & creation, our
faith can offer powerfully transforming healing. Collective
faithfulness to divine leadings can unlock unused healing potential
to address current global crises. Let us participate more
wholeheartedly in God's loving, healing work in the world.
Queries—What
does faithfulness mean to you? How can we nurture
faithfulness in our Self and our communities? What faithful- ness
story do you have to share? What spiritual practices help you
become aware of Divine Presence and Calling? How can we help
each other distinguish Spirit-leadings from wishes, ego, and social pressure? What ministry have you been called to? How does your meeting recognize and support members' leadings and ministries? How have you struggled to be aware of self-deception, fears, or
resisting God?
http://www.pendlehill.org/product-category/pamphlets
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463. Mind the Oneness: The Mystic Way of the Quakers (by Rex
www.facebook.com/pendlehill
Ambler; 2020)
About the Author—For over 30 years Rex Ambler lectured in philo- sophical theology at Birmingham University. He now gives talks & workshops on Quaker faith & practice. 2 of his books are: Light to Live by: An Explana- tion in Quaker Spirituality; (2002, 2008); & The Quaker Way: A Rediscovery (2013). He worked at establishing & developing Experiment with Light medita- tion groups, which use early Friends' writings & practices to facilitate self- discovery & inquiry. His other Pendle Hill Pamphlets are The Light Within ... (#425; 2013 ) & Living in Dark Times (#447; 2017). This pamphlet's text was 1st published in 2017 by Quaker Universalist Group.
Therefore all Friends, mind the oneness, and that [seeing light, clean- sing fire, and uniting spirit] which keeps you in the oneness. George Fox, 1653
Mysticism as Mystery—The word "mysticism" is from the Greek muein (to close the mouth or eyes). Job lays his hand on his mouth. There is nothing he can say to match what he experienced. From the beginning, "mystery" has referred to things which are inherently beyond our grasp, [i.e.] things about life & death. With so much uncertainty and danger, what can we ultimately rely on? What meaning or purpose can we find in our suffering in life? How do we recall and share moments of insight when words are inade- quate? Our hard work in trying to get to the truth is preparation for the moment in which it just happens. There is already, deep within us, a connection with this ultimate reality we need to know; an inner light shows it to us.
What made the Quaker Way Possible?—Quakers say, We "wait in the light" [for] a deep source of knowledge we have within us, until we see what we need to know. In the 17th century, mystery was thought to be unavailable to ordinary people, & not to be revealed by waiting to be enlightened. Early Christians accepted that mystery was so elusive it belonged to another world, but they rejected philosophy being needed to get close to mystery. The Word had become flesh, & was therefore accessible to ordinary people, [who found philosophy to be a foreign language to them]. Church authorities wanted to establish Christianity as an imperial religion; they wanted a concrete set of words to explain Christianity's meaning; others felt this was a betrayal of the faith.
About the Author—For over 30 years Rex Ambler lectured in philo- sophical theology at Birmingham University. He now gives talks & workshops on Quaker faith & practice. 2 of his books are: Light to Live by: An Explana- tion in Quaker Spirituality; (2002, 2008); & The Quaker Way: A Rediscovery (2013). He worked at establishing & developing Experiment with Light medita- tion groups, which use early Friends' writings & practices to facilitate self- discovery & inquiry. His other Pendle Hill Pamphlets are The Light Within ... (#425; 2013 ) & Living in Dark Times (#447; 2017). This pamphlet's text was 1st published in 2017 by Quaker Universalist Group.
Therefore all Friends, mind the oneness, and that [seeing light, clean- sing fire, and uniting spirit] which keeps you in the oneness. George Fox, 1653
Mysticism as Mystery—The word "mysticism" is from the Greek muein (to close the mouth or eyes). Job lays his hand on his mouth. There is nothing he can say to match what he experienced. From the beginning, "mystery" has referred to things which are inherently beyond our grasp, [i.e.] things about life & death. With so much uncertainty and danger, what can we ultimately rely on? What meaning or purpose can we find in our suffering in life? How do we recall and share moments of insight when words are inade- quate? Our hard work in trying to get to the truth is preparation for the moment in which it just happens. There is already, deep within us, a connection with this ultimate reality we need to know; an inner light shows it to us.
What made the Quaker Way Possible?—Quakers say, We "wait in the light" [for] a deep source of knowledge we have within us, until we see what we need to know. In the 17th century, mystery was thought to be unavailable to ordinary people, & not to be revealed by waiting to be enlightened. Early Christians accepted that mystery was so elusive it belonged to another world, but they rejected philosophy being needed to get close to mystery. The Word had become flesh, & was therefore accessible to ordinary people, [who found philosophy to be a foreign language to them]. Church authorities wanted to establish Christianity as an imperial religion; they wanted a concrete set of words to explain Christianity's meaning; others felt this was a betrayal of the faith.
The increasing worldliness of the church drove some people to leave city churches to live a simple, communal life in the desert. It is possible these communities have their roots in Buddhists communities, which followed the sea-trade from India into Egypt. It can be traced further back to Hindu ashrams, & forward to Islamic Sufi groups. People in Europe became dissatisfied with the church & sought freedom of belief [e.g.] "Friends of God" & "Beguines."
They picked up what people like Bernard of Clairvaux, Teresa of Avila, and Meister Eckhart had said about religious experience, and began to expe- riment. They gained insights without having to consult priest or Bible. Ber- nard wrote: "In matters of this kind, understanding can follow only where expe- rience leads." Evelyn Underhill writes: "The view which regards the mystic as a spiritual anarchist receives little support from history, which shows us, over and over again, the great mystics as faithful sons and daughters of the great religions."
Luther was inspired by these people and took them as a guide to the kind of experience that would liberate him from church & theological structures. His turning point came in reading the Bible, which explained to him the mea- ning of Christ's life & death. He said: "My conscience is captive to the Word of God. Here I stand, I can do no other." He pit himself against priests, kings, & the whole tradition of the church.
Luther was inspired by these people and took them as a guide to the kind of experience that would liberate him from church & theological structures. His turning point came in reading the Bible, which explained to him the mea- ning of Christ's life & death. He said: "My conscience is captive to the Word of God. Here I stand, I can do no other." He pit himself against priests, kings, & the whole tradition of the church.
Some 130 years after Luther & the Reformation's beginning, the Qua- kers offered an alternative to Catholic, Lutheran, [and Episcopalian] theology. Differences over Scriptural authority had [contributed to] a civil war [between established civil and religious authority and the fractured opposition who] tried to establish an alternative to the rule of kings & bishops. What kind of mysti- cism did early Quakerism offer? What kind of mystcism does it offer now? How does it compare to other forms of mysticism?
How did the Quaker Way Arise & Take Shape?—What could 17th century religious people trust in light of doubts about the Bible, & differ- ences between interpreters of it? As a young man of 19, Fox gave voice to this anxiety: "Young people go together into vanity & old people into the earth ... thou must forsake all ... & be as a stranger unto all"; the reality they faced was a dark one.
What reality can a young person trust & find hope in? Fox writes: "I had forsaken all the priests ... & had left the [Separatist] preachers ... I saw there was none among them that could speak to my condition ... I had nothing outwardly to help me, nor could tell what to do ... When all my hopes in them … were gone … I heard a voice which said, ‘There is one, even Christ Jesus that can speak to thy condition’; & when I did hear it, my heart did leap for joy. … There were none upon the earth that could speak to my condition, for all are concluded under sin ... And this I knew experimentally.”
[He knew enough about his condition to know that others weren't spea- king to it]. He had to experience it for himself if he was really to trust. Every other way was blocked; he had to turn inward, [as did] other early Quakers. How could they expect to build a [spiritual] life on their own experience? How does one build an understanding of the mysterious source of life?
[He knew enough about his condition to know that others weren't spea- king to it]. He had to experience it for himself if he was really to trust. Every other way was blocked; he had to turn inward, [as did] other early Quakers. How could they expect to build a [spiritual] life on their own experience? How does one build an understanding of the mysterious source of life?
There is a link between letting go and finding. He had to learn to trust his own deeper resources, his own experience of life. If there was a healing & life-giving truth he would have to experience it for himself. He discovered that deep down within him there was a source of wisdom that would give him the truth directly & that it would do so by showing him the reality of his life. Jesus Christ gives light to see by. The Christ who spoke to him was a spiritual reality that he discovered within. He also learned that "they are seducers and anti-christs which draw your mind out of the teaching within you [by pointing outward.]" This Christ was the wisdom by which the world was made.
[Inner Spiritual Wisdom: A Way of Life]—How did early Quaker vision survive a lack of support from Church & State? How was early Quaker vision translated into people's lives & the world? How did it become a viable way of life? It isn't wise for us to look for a belief statement, authority figure, or church structure. Even with accounts of sudden & unex- pected revelations of light, [the truest image of Friends' practice is] a regular daily, patient, waiting discipline in light and silence, so as to open to their illumination.
Joseph Pickvance writes: "The earliest meetings were held in private, 'retired meetings,' in complete silence or almost so, for 3 hours at a time, once or twice a week." They had found a method to access the light within, availa- ble to anyone at any time. [It brought] "satisfaction & quietness in one's own mind ... & the weary had rest in Christ."
The 1st consideration is how one was within one's self, & how one felt about one's self, [i.e.] one's true condition. Their conscience would tell them of conflict or tension they were experiencing, "If all would come to knowledge of truth, they must come to that which doth reprove [& approve of] them, & lead them into truth ... Be still & cool in thy own mind & spirit from thine own thoughts ... Let not any of you in your desires wander from that which is pure in you; then your condition will be kept clear to see things as they are."
From this state of mind came amendment of life. [In acceptance of a difficult truth], inner conflict is overcome & there is peace. [Anxiety over] death near them & their own, could be met with "waiting in the light," and they would see their life grounded in an eternal reality that was benevolent. "This is the comfort of Friends, that though they may be said to die, yet their friendship & society are, in the best sense, ever present, because immortal" [Wm. Penn].
Having recognized the truth, it was necessary to "obey the truth." What does it mean to "obey the truth?" It is necessary to do that which prevents anything that needs reproving, & refrain from that which invites reproving & anxiety. The same dynamic applied to their relations with others. They could recognize conflicts or tensions between people, and then act on that insight.
Having recognized the truth, it was necessary to "obey the truth." What does it mean to "obey the truth?" It is necessary to do that which prevents anything that needs reproving, & refrain from that which invites reproving & anxiety. The same dynamic applied to their relations with others. They could recognize conflicts or tensions between people, and then act on that insight.
Fox writes: The light is but one ... and lets them see how they have been strangers and aliens from the life of God. Alienation is based on a false idea of the people involved; they don't "see one another" at all, but instead images, ideas, projections. With insight, they begin to see that we humans are the same & belong together, & can treat other people, even the opposition, differently. We are given guidance when we open ourselves inwardly to some- thing beyond the limitations of our conscious selves. Others have different gifts and experience, so they can help with the knowledge, experience & skills we lack.
How do we make a difference? People who live a worldly life repress spiritual awareness & desire. When one perceives, tests & lives out life's rea- lity, people will see that. Even if nothing is said, it will be a testimony to the truth & will liberate them. That gives them confidence they can make a dif- ference to the world, & overcome many evils. They have resources within them to resolve conflict, & to learn to live together in harmony. The world and the body are affirmed joyfully as the means by which we can achieve libera- tion and find oneness.
How do we make a difference? People who live a worldly life repress spiritual awareness & desire. When one perceives, tests & lives out life's rea- lity, people will see that. Even if nothing is said, it will be a testimony to the truth & will liberate them. That gives them confidence they can make a dif- ference to the world, & overcome many evils. They have resources within them to resolve conflict, & to learn to live together in harmony. The world and the body are affirmed joyfully as the means by which we can achieve libera- tion and find oneness.
Early in Christianity, the Desert Father Antony is believed to have said: "My book, sir philosopher, is the nature of created things, & is always at hand when I wish to read the words of God."
George Fox wrote: “Now I was come up in spirit through the flaming sword, into the paradise of God. All things were new; & all the creation gave unto me another smell than before, beyond what words can utter … I was taken up in spirit to see another or more steadfast state than Adam’s innocency, even into a state in Christ Jesus that should never fall ... in which the admirable works of the creation, & virtues thereof, may be known ..."
"Great things did the Lord lead me into, & wonderful depths were opened unto me ... As people come into subjection to God's spirit & grow up in the Almighty's image & power, they may receive the word of wisdom that opens all things, & come to know hidden unity in the eternal being ... That man may look upon with that which is invisible, & there read himself."
The prevailing world-view is that at the physical level as rationally or- dered but indifferent to human beings, and on the human level as disordered and dangerous, totally dependent on us to bring order. We can't see the whole world and its grounding in eternity because we are anxiously preoccu- pied with things in time. To get [beyond the ego's preferred reality] to the world as it really is, we have to let go of our precious ideas & "subject" our self to what is disclosed by the spirit within us.
The prevailing world-view is that at the physical level as rationally or- dered but indifferent to human beings, and on the human level as disordered and dangerous, totally dependent on us to bring order. We can't see the whole world and its grounding in eternity because we are anxiously preoccu- pied with things in time. To get [beyond the ego's preferred reality] to the world as it really is, we have to let go of our precious ideas & "subject" our self to what is disclosed by the spirit within us.
The spirit that inspires & enlightens us is the same spirit, & wisdom, by which the world is made. Earlier Jacob Boehme had used the same phrase. When you let go the world of your imagination, the world as it revolves around you, you can see the world as it is, the unity of everything. You feel your self to be more fully part of the world & not separate from it; you are at home.
Fox also said: "So God Almighty open your understandings, all people everywhere, that you may see your self. And if you take heed to that light which will exercise your conscience, it will let you see your self, which eye is the light, & this light will let you see God. But if your minds go forth to [things outside], the god of this world cometh in and takes the dominion, and so your minds are blinded and your understandings darkened."
[Inner Spiritual Wisdom: Reality, Unity, Eternity]—Fox says that "people" generally may "come to know the hidden unity in the eternal being ... With the light you may comprehend time and the world and fathom it, which believed in gives you victory over the world." If we go into the "light," & reflect that everything comes & goes in an openhearted way, we can see that we are part of one vast process in time. If we can accept this face unreservedly, the world makes sense. With this insight into the flow of time, we find ourselves rising above it. In our transcending the time of our life we get a sense of that which transcends all time, the creator of time and the world. Fox writes: "All dwell in the power and spirit of God, with which ye will comprehend all that which is to change, with that which doth not change and hath no end."
The early Quakers response to their crisis wasn't to draw on some other tradition, not even mystical tradition that might have been congenial, but to look deeply into their self & see if there was anything that could help & give them a basis for life. There is a capacity for insight & love which enabled them to see their self & those around them as they really were, & to recognize a oneness of things. They could trust their own & God's ultimate reality & live by its leadings. Their communities could embody the vision & give meaning and hope in dark times.
The early Quakers response to their crisis wasn't to draw on some other tradition, not even mystical tradition that might have been congenial, but to look deeply into their self & see if there was anything that could help & give them a basis for life. There is a capacity for insight & love which enabled them to see their self & those around them as they really were, & to recognize a oneness of things. They could trust their own & God's ultimate reality & live by its leadings. Their communities could embody the vision & give meaning and hope in dark times.
How Does the Quaker Way Compare with Other Forms of Mysti- cism?—With Christianity being taken over as the [late Roman Empire's] official religion, the church became altogether more worldly & spirituality got squeezed out. Christians for whom the spiritual meaning was everything left cities for the desert. John Cassian lived with & wrote about them. He thought of their monasticism as the Christian alternative to society. There they discovered a sensitivity to the Spirit's stirrings and direct God-encounters.
The Desert Fathers, of whom St. Antony the Great is the most notable: relied on inner truth to reach God; gave up self-attachment; experienced union with ultimate reality; found freedom & wholeness; responded with love. These 5 elements can be found in most who followed this mystical tradition, [where] unmediated experience [is key]. It stands in contrast with the predominant spirituality, which relies on structure, authority, & mediation. Buddha's mysti- cism was a reaction against the formal teaching of the Brahmins; Zen was a reaction to formal dependence on the accumulation of scripture in Buddhism.
The Desert Fathers, of whom St. Antony the Great is the most notable: relied on inner truth to reach God; gave up self-attachment; experienced union with ultimate reality; found freedom & wholeness; responded with love. These 5 elements can be found in most who followed this mystical tradition, [where] unmediated experience [is key]. It stands in contrast with the predominant spirituality, which relies on structure, authority, & mediation. Buddha's mysti- cism was a reaction against the formal teaching of the Brahmins; Zen was a reaction to formal dependence on the accumulation of scripture in Buddhism.
Definitions of Mysticism—The practice of the 5 elements mentioned above could be a definition of mysticism. It is also possible that mysticism can't be defined because it is concerned with something undefineable. Mysticism is not a system of belief, but a reaction against systems. It is the whole quest & process that leads to insight, the life that leads from it, and the latter process that makes sense of it. It is a dimension of religious process rather than the practice itself. [Some find mysticism to be an essential part of being Christian].
Rufus Jones defines mysticism as: "the type of religion which puts the emphasis on immediate awareness of relation with God, on direct and intimate consciousness of Divine Presence." This also applies to evangelism, which cannot fully embrace mysticism. Simply recollecting the Lord and hearkening before Him in company together is fitted to foster inner light and peace. Rufus Jones want to hold mysticism and evangelism together, though I think that spiritually it has to be impossible; too much of mysticism's specific qualities are left out.
Rufus Jones defines mysticism as: "the type of religion which puts the emphasis on immediate awareness of relation with God, on direct and intimate consciousness of Divine Presence." This also applies to evangelism, which cannot fully embrace mysticism. Simply recollecting the Lord and hearkening before Him in company together is fitted to foster inner light and peace. Rufus Jones want to hold mysticism and evangelism together, though I think that spiritually it has to be impossible; too much of mysticism's specific qualities are left out.
Elizabeth Gray Vining says of Rufus Jones: "He saw the [sometimes evangelical,] pastoral system had come to stay and that it would have to be accepted by eastern Friends ... [who thought] it was not Quakerism ... and that they had abandoned elements of distinctive Quaker practice to return to the Protestant faith. Jones tended to play down [silent meditation] features of Quaker life which made it distinctive."
Evelyn Underhill writes: "Mysticism is the art of union with Reality. The mystic is a person who has that union in greater or lesser degree, or who aims at & believes in such attainment ...They have succeeded where all others have failed, in establishing communication between the spirit of man ... & that 'one Reality' ... This is the hidden Truth which is ... the only satisfactory goal of his quest." We are normally not in touch with the "one Reality," distinct from our ideas and images of reality, and reality is ultimately elusive, because it is "immaterial.
How is the Quaker way mystical? The Quaker way is mystical as a quest for reality and an experience of reality, which then becomes the basis of our faith and practice. Why are Quakers hesitant to describe our way as mystical? Many Quakers claim that our faith is primarily Christian; our center is Christianity. Classical mysticism is concerned with another reality than this one; Quakerism is thoroughly grounded in this world.
Evelyn Underhill writes: "Mysticism is the art of union with Reality. The mystic is a person who has that union in greater or lesser degree, or who aims at & believes in such attainment ...They have succeeded where all others have failed, in establishing communication between the spirit of man ... & that 'one Reality' ... This is the hidden Truth which is ... the only satisfactory goal of his quest." We are normally not in touch with the "one Reality," distinct from our ideas and images of reality, and reality is ultimately elusive, because it is "immaterial.
How is the Quaker way mystical? The Quaker way is mystical as a quest for reality and an experience of reality, which then becomes the basis of our faith and practice. Why are Quakers hesitant to describe our way as mystical? Many Quakers claim that our faith is primarily Christian; our center is Christianity. Classical mysticism is concerned with another reality than this one; Quakerism is thoroughly grounded in this world.
Some believe that mysticism is pre-occupied with paranormal pheno- mena, with spirits, supernatural, or magical powers. When Quakers turn to Christ to mediate God's reality, that Christ is a reality within them, not some- thing or someone outside them. This deep [Christ-] reality, is itself divine. We each have within us, whether recognized or not, the wisdom & guidance we need for our lives; it only requires our response to it.
Quakerism isn't otherworldly, whereas mysticism is. Quakers were part of the Reformation, [with its suspicions about] external structures and autho- rities, which for Quakers included monasticism [& its formalized Rules]. They didn't know about the few that developed a rich mystical life. They knew about the more ascetic tradition of classical mysticism and rejected it because of its rejection of the world and the body.
[Penn and Barclay on Mystics]—Penn writes: "True followers of Christ ... exempt not themselves from the conversations of the world ... That is a lazy, rusty, unprofitable self-denial, burdensome to others to feel their idle- ness ... [monasticism is] a constrained harshness, out of joint to the rest of creation ... True godliness does not turn men out of the world, but enables them to live better in it, and excites their endeavors to mend it." This rather harsh judgment on the monastic life has to be balanced with his appreciation of "retirement" from the world [e.g.] a Princess who was also an "abbess" to a German Protestant order.
[Penn and Barclay on Mystics]—Penn writes: "True followers of Christ ... exempt not themselves from the conversations of the world ... That is a lazy, rusty, unprofitable self-denial, burdensome to others to feel their idle- ness ... [monasticism is] a constrained harshness, out of joint to the rest of creation ... True godliness does not turn men out of the world, but enables them to live better in it, and excites their endeavors to mend it." This rather harsh judgment on the monastic life has to be balanced with his appreciation of "retirement" from the world [e.g.] a Princess who was also an "abbess" to a German Protestant order.
Barclay writes: "Mystics [are] ... a group whose writings abound with explanations & commendations of [spiritual] worship ... [Directing] the mind [away] from images, thoughts & prayers of the will [is seen] as ... Christian perfection, [requiring no other form of worship] ... God has raised a people to testify for it, & preach it, who are refreshed & strengthened in the sight of the world [by it], in spite of opposition ... They don't consider it [something to be] attained only after they have become weary with outward ceremonies & observances." Barclay distances himself from church "mystics," but he fully accepts their basic commitment and practice. They sought God in the silence Spirit, gave up reliance on words, images, and liturgies.
Quakers have sought "union with reality" not by withdrawing from the world or body, but by embracing them. Howard Brinton writes: "This is ethical mysticism because it retreats, quietistically, to the creative Source of Unity returns to create unity in the world." Vining writes: "Every situation may be
Quakers have sought "union with reality" not by withdrawing from the world or body, but by embracing them. Howard Brinton writes: "This is ethical mysticism because it retreats, quietistically, to the creative Source of Unity returns to create unity in the world." Vining writes: "Every situation may be
turned in an occasion for winning a nearer view of God." What is bad or unacceptable is that humans have asserted themselves against reality,
creating their own illusory world, and cutting themselves off from reality. The way back to peace & unity is by [seeking and brightening] our dim sense of reality and follow its leads "trusting them as the leadings of God, whose light shows us our darkness and brings us to new life."
The problem is not the world, it is the ego which distorts the world. When the ego is sorted, put in its place, we can see the world clearly, and che- rish it and love it. I would suggest we call Quaker mysticism Inclusive Mysti- cism. The spiritual mentor Baron von Hügel quotes Julian of Norwich: "Well, I wote that heaven and earth, and all that is made is great, large, fair and good ... The full head of joy is to behold God in all; truly enjoy our Lord [with] a full, lovely thanking in his sight." Other descriptions of Quaker mysticism could include: Practical Mysticism (Evelyn Underhill); Ethical Mysticism (Howard Brinton); Prophetic Mysticism (Rex Ambler); Affirmative Mysticism (Dean Iage). I have also thought of Ken Wilber's "integral spirituality" in contrast to the [dualism] of separating material and spiritual, emotional and rational.
Distinctive Elements of the Quaker Way—Fox's knowing something "experimentally" grew out of the meaning "experiment" had acquired in the new science of his time. The Royal Society pioneered an approach to science in which every theory was to be tested rigorously in experience to see if it worked. William Penn wrote: "... It is utterly impossible that anything should bring to the internal knowledge & experience of the work & will of God but the Light & Spirit only by an inward revelation & operation." [Each person's] truth was to be found as one opened one's self up to the experience of one's life & the life around them. Their contemporary Christian leaders found the Quaker alte- rnative preposterous, dangerous, and a threat to the church's and state's foundation.
[Quakers learned to read the Bible from a new perspective]. It wasn't telling them what to believe, but pointing them to the experience that would give them the light and life they sought; it was "testimony." Fox wrote: "They couldn't know the spiritual meaning Moses, the prophets, John's & Christ's] words, nor see their path & travels, or see through them ... into the kingdom unless they had the light and spirit of Jesus." The historical Christ, Jesus of Nazareth, is seen as a witness to the truth ... "The Word became flesh" means that God's word to humans was expressed in a human life; the record of the life bears witness to the "grace and truth available to us.
Even then its truth had to be acted on if it was to be truly embedded in life. Fox wrote: "Live in the life of truth & let the truth speak in all things ... act truth ...practice it ... ye have truth ... it cometh to be with you as natural." Howard Brinton wrote: "There is a mystical unity with historical events if they are repeated & verified in a similar form in the life of an individual." The goal of the spiritual life isn't simply to see the ultimate one-ness. It is to realize oneness in practice, so bringing the understanding & action together.
John of Ruysbroeck wrote: "Understand, God comes to us incessantly, both with & without intermediary; he demands of us both action & fruition, in such a way that the action shall not hinder fruition, nor the fruition action, but they shall reinforce one another reciprocally ... He dwells in God, & yet he goes out towards created things, in a spirit of love toward all things in the virtues & works of righteousness. This is the inner life's supreme summit." The integration of contemplation & action has re-emerged in modern Catholic life in Thomas Merton & Karl Rahner.
You can see how this integrated approach would affect community life & political life. "Something of God in everyone" leads people to cherish commu- nal life & do everything possible to mend it & make it whole. [In doing "ordi- nary" work they can retain the mystical vision. There are fields where the one- ness can be made real, where hidden possibilities of reconciliation, harmony, & peace can be realized. That is often made clear in those actions which bear witness to the human reality that is being presently denied in the world, [i.e. testimonies]. They have the prophetic role of drawing people's attention to the life that would lead to peace & wholeness.
I close with a George Fox quotation on truth: "Dear friends,/ With my love to you in the holy peaceable truth/ that never changes,/ nor admits of evil,// but makes all free/ that receive it/ & that walk in it ...// & from the truth floweth justice,/ equity, righteousness & godliness,/ merry & tender- ness,// that brings a man's heart, mind, soul & spirit/ to the infinite &/ incom- prehensible God,// & from it a love flows/ to all the universal creation// & would have all to come/ to the knowledge of the truth.//
It bends every one to their utmost ability/ to serve God & his truth/ & to spread it abroad,// & it brings their minds out the earth,/ which makes them brittle/ and changeable & uncertain,// for it doth not change,/ neither doth it touch with/ that which does change. As to unity it makes all/ like itself/ that do obey it,// universal, to live [outside] of/ narrowness and self,/ and deny it.// So it brings all into oneness/ and answereth the good principle/ of God in all people.".
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464.
Pendle Hill (PH), A Place to Be and Become: Reflections on the
1st
90 Years (by Doug Gwyn; 2020)
About the Author—Doug Gwyn grew up in the pastoral stream of Friends in IN. He began to know unprogrammed Friends while he attended Union Theological Seminary. He wrote for AFSC, and taught mainly biblical studies at PH and Woodbrooke in England. He called himself "bi-spiritual" to describe being engaged and nurtured by both pastoral and unprogrammed Friends. He wrote PHP # 426 But Who do You Say that I Am (2014), 6 books, including Conversation with Christ: Quaker Meditations on the Gospel of John (2011).
About the Author—Doug Gwyn grew up in the pastoral stream of Friends in IN. He began to know unprogrammed Friends while he attended Union Theological Seminary. He wrote for AFSC, and taught mainly biblical studies at PH and Woodbrooke in England. He called himself "bi-spiritual" to describe being engaged and nurtured by both pastoral and unprogrammed Friends. He wrote PHP # 426 But Who do You Say that I Am (2014), 6 books, including Conversation with Christ: Quaker Meditations on the Gospel of John (2011).
Foreword: Sacrament of Hope—In PH's 1st history book, Eleanor Price Mather defined PH as: "Quaker experiment in education & community." Friends showed courage & faithful openness in founding PH in 1930, the Great Depression's beginning. Now, we have similar complex challenges & uncer- tainties that overwhelm our capacity to address them: injustices; inequalities; war; racism; abusing the environment. These things & the pandemic present us with a very obscured historical passage.
PH is a place where faith, experiential learning & actions intertwine as we open to Light. We offer a firm testimony. [While reading this pamphlet], be open to the living dynamic behind PH, & to the Spirit that motivated this place's creation. It's a place to find "reasons for hope" as hope is found in silence, work & community. PH is a small retreat, study, & conference center seeking to be a space for personal & communal renewal, a space for inspiration to create a better world. Francisco Burgos
Preface—PH is closed for now due to the COVID-19 pandemic. It faced uncertain times in its opening, & other hard times since. PH has a future & urgent purpose in the world. Climate concerns raise questions whether people should travel very far to be there. More programming may be online. 500 registered for an online lecture, "Love in a Time of Coronavirus," by John Calvi; 1,600 viewed it on YouTube. PH is slowly discovering how deeply runs exclu- sive white cultural standards that marginalize people of color. Francisco Bur- gos is the 1st person of color to serve as PH's executive director, beginning this year. The focus here is on building & grounds, which provides the back ground & scene for some beautiful & powerful things, [involving generous portions of] faith, hope and love.
[Introduction]—PH is a place of hospitality, with 24 acres & over 150 tree species. Diverse people come to renew spirits, learn, dialogue, find direc- tion, rest & retreat. Hospitality offers space where change takes place, & is grounded in Quaker spirituality, beginning with morning worship. There are peaceful, caring interactions with staff, sojourners, people, & other life. Quaker testimonies: peace; truth; equality; community; simplicity; & stewardship undergird interactions. Structure & program change; spiritual practices remain consistent.
Founding—By the early 20th century Friends were abandoning isolation & adopting a more engaged activist profile. In 1917, Woolman School helped prepare Friends from humanitarian service at home & overseas. When the School closed in 1927, Rufus Jones led a group of Friends in planning another experiment in adult education. The large founding board included a spectrum of Friends from evangelical to liberal progressive. Pendle Hill was named after the English site where George Fox had his vision. Henry T. Hodgkin, a British Evangelical, wanted PH to be a: "haven of rest" and respite; "school of prophets," to strengthen convictions; "laboratory of ideas" to apply science to faith; "fellowship 'round Christ" to take PH lessons out into the world.
PH started in Wallingford, with 7½ acres of arboretum, a large, recently built house & an 1890's brick barn. The neighborhood wasn't as racially mixed as hoped. Chester nearby provided ample opportunities for service & witness. The Barn became meeting space, offices, and dormitory. PH's resident pro- gram was 3 10-week terms with 3 classes each. It's philosophy was that of work, study & worship. PH would be a place where adults could put social ideals on a stronger spiritual basis for a more resilient life of faith, witness, & service. [To paraphrase Penn]: "I thought it an error to have no retreats for [those depleted in spirit to, without disturbance], pass through religious exer- cises, be strengthened, [gain] power over their spirit & enter the world again".
PH also provided spiritual grounding for AFSC's service, peacemaking & economic empowerment projects. This collaboration was at its height during Anna & Howard Brinton's tenure as director and studies' director (1936-52). PH launched in 1930 with 18 students; Marshall Shephard & Richard McKin- ney, 2 African-Americans were among them. PH had limited success recrui- ting more African Americans later, [affected as it was by] depression, war, financial crises, and the predominantly white makeup of constituency and neighborhood.
Some
Deeper Roots: The Beech & the Elm/ Main House—Behind the original house stands a large American beech tree well over 300 years old, perhaps starting around the time Penn 1st purchased land. 50 yards from it stands a scion of Philadelphia's treaty elm. Buildings and land were added since PH's beginning. A little further west is Main House from 1st purchase, enlarged in 1940 & again in 1989. PH was crowded during the 30's & 40's. Some resorted to the attic for a private place of prayer.
PH attracted Aldous Huxley among others. Inspired by PH, Gerald Heard went on to found a Hindu ashram in southern California. Paul Robeson attended a weekend conference advocating better relations with Russia. Martin Buber came to talk to Howard Brinton. PH's library was scattered throughout Main House & the Barn. Henry Burton Sharman started PH's distinct Gospel study method, that was carried on by Dora Wilson, Mary Morri- son, Rebecca Kratz Mays, & Christ Ravndal. Henry Hodgkin led a year-long class examining the good & bad outcomes of the Russian revolution.
Main House kitchen developed early the tradition & hospitality of delici- ous, healthy food & engaging conversation that continues today. PH's large garden was near its entrance in the 30's & 40's. 1944 saw more than 4 tons of fruits & vegetables (717 quarts of tomatoes). The now-organic garden is at the back of the property.
The Barn—PH's unbroken sequence of daily meetings for worship for 90 years has almost always taken place in the Barn. The large sliding doors go back to the original building's use as a stable. Even in the temporary shutdown, daily morning worship continues in the Barn with a few socially-distanced staff, but with an average of well over 100 attenders [nationwide, from Ca- nada & all over the world], participating via Zoom. Its other uses include: class sessions, Monday evening lectures, plays, concerts & "Festival Week" presen- tations.
The Barn—PH's unbroken sequence of daily meetings for worship for 90 years has almost always taken place in the Barn. The large sliding doors go back to the original building's use as a stable. Even in the temporary shutdown, daily morning worship continues in the Barn with a few socially-distanced staff, but with an average of well over 100 attenders [nationwide, from Ca- nada & all over the world], participating via Zoom. Its other uses include: class sessions, Monday evening lectures, plays, concerts & "Festival Week" presen- tations.
Memorable speakers have included: Rabindranath Tagore, A. J. Muste, Bayard Rustin, Elise & Kenneth Boulding, Wendell Berry, Vincent Harding, & Jean-Paul Sartre (1945). Jack Shephard put on plays, which started out orthodox & ended up with improvisation & audience participation. Beginning in the late 1970's, Jackie Coren organized group singing, which led to the PH Chorus in 1993, practicing & performing in the Barn space. George Lakey, civil rights & environmental activist, has led group-sings of Broadway standards from the piano.
In 1933, Douglas Steere suggested PH start publishing short, readable "tracts for the times"; PH Pamphlets began in 1934. At their peak in 1950, each pamphlet had total distribution of 3,500 copies. By now there are over 460 pamphlets. By 1997, the meeting room's ceiling was raised, & more attractive lighting was put in. The bookstore was expanded, and the upstairs dormitory was turned into offices for staff and technology. Chuck Fager in 1995 estab- lished a fledgling PH web page.
Upmeads/ Waysmeet—When Anna & Howard Brinton started as direc- tors in 1936, 3 houses were built along Plush Mill Road, 1936-37. Upmeads was a residence with an adjoining library-classroom. General George Marshall, met with Civilian Public Service administrators in Upmeads library. PH had conscientious objectors & pacifists, whom the FBI investigated. Lecture teas were held in late afternoons in the house library. Dorothy Day came on retreat & visited Anna at Upmeads. A student who was slow in leaving PH was moved to Upmeads' top floor, where Anna gently encouraged a search for next steps.
In 1933, Douglas Steere suggested PH start publishing short, readable "tracts for the times"; PH Pamphlets began in 1934. At their peak in 1950, each pamphlet had total distribution of 3,500 copies. By now there are over 460 pamphlets. By 1997, the meeting room's ceiling was raised, & more attractive lighting was put in. The bookstore was expanded, and the upstairs dormitory was turned into offices for staff and technology. Chuck Fager in 1995 estab- lished a fledgling PH web page.
Upmeads/ Waysmeet—When Anna & Howard Brinton started as direc- tors in 1936, 3 houses were built along Plush Mill Road, 1936-37. Upmeads was a residence with an adjoining library-classroom. General George Marshall, met with Civilian Public Service administrators in Upmeads library. PH had conscientious objectors & pacifists, whom the FBI investigated. Lecture teas were held in late afternoons in the house library. Dorothy Day came on retreat & visited Anna at Upmeads. A student who was slow in leaving PH was moved to Upmeads' top floor, where Anna gently encouraged a search for next steps.
PH's hospitality has been offering space for people to blossom & ex- pand, in trust they will find renewed faith & direction. Anna resigned in 1949 to work for AFSC; Howard continued as sole director; they lived at PH for many more years. Governance became more consultative & participatory over following decades. A fundamental tension between the students/ staff commu- nity & the external board of a non-profit simmered until the resident plan was discontinued in Spring 2014.
AFSC built a house next to Upmeads for its director Clarence Pickett & his family; Brinton & Pickett influenced one another's vision in a useful symbiosis; Eleanor Roosevelt stayed at least 1 night at Waysmeet. PH's rush- seat chairs were made by laid-off WV coal miners; some are still in use. AFSC also built Edgehill next to Waysmeet for their social & industrial affairs secre- tary. Both houses were bought by PH in the 60's. Edgehill was the Parker & Sally Palmer's home & their 3 children; Parker was dean of studies in 1975. Palmer brought Bill & Fran Taber, Elaine Prevallet, Sandra Cronk, to PH as resident teachers. They helped reclaim the deeper registers of Quaker spiri- tuality [in a shift from] 60's radicalism; the inward turn of the 80's was vital for its time.
AFSC built a house next to Upmeads for its director Clarence Pickett & his family; Brinton & Pickett influenced one another's vision in a useful symbiosis; Eleanor Roosevelt stayed at least 1 night at Waysmeet. PH's rush- seat chairs were made by laid-off WV coal miners; some are still in use. AFSC also built Edgehill next to Waysmeet for their social & industrial affairs secre- tary. Both houses were bought by PH in the 60's. Edgehill was the Parker & Sally Palmer's home & their 3 children; Parker was dean of studies in 1975. Palmer brought Bill & Fran Taber, Elaine Prevallet, Sandra Cronk, to PH as resident teachers. They helped reclaim the deeper registers of Quaker spiri- tuality [in a shift from] 60's radicalism; the inward turn of the 80's was vital for its time.
Firbank—PH purchased a large mid-19th century house with 7 acres south & west of Main House to handle an influx of AFSC trainees. PH's library was consolidated in the house's east end. PH's collaboration on post-war relief & reconstruction contributed to British & American Friends receiving the 1947 Nobel Peace Prize. Arts & Crafts saw their beginnings at PH with creative writing & drawing classes in the mid-1950's. A craft studio was started in the basement in 1960, led by Stan Zielinski, a weaver.
In 1992-93, Firbank was renovated, with rooms for students & visitors, & a ground-floor art studio. Its library hosted term course sessions, weekend & 10-day workshops, on Bible, spirituality, & [discernment]. Richard Stenhouse, PH's 1st African-American resident teacher in 1961, taught social activism classes. He left after 2 years in frustration over PH's failure to attract Black students. Stenhouse wrote "Some Barriers to the Community of Peoples within the Society of Friends," a critique of Friends and accepting white prefer- ences and practices as the cultural norm for everyone.
Chace & Cadbury Court/ Blue Route, Brinton House, Perimeter Path, Owen's Garden—After a ¼-century of packing students, staff, & sojour- ners into every available space, Chace dormitory was built in 1958, adjacent to the Barn; it included 24 single rooms. 7 new staff apartments were also added. The apartments developed structural problems and were razed in 2016. George Willoughby & George Lakey taught non-violent action for social change in the 60's. The board felt a need for a spiritual change, so they chose not to renew Willoughby's contract in 1970; there were difficult feelings on all sides of this action.
A new "Beltline" interstate was suggested; the chosen "Blue Route" originally ran right through Pendle Hill. A large letter-writing campaign helped Pendle Hill shift the route to the east & south enough to cut off only a small piece of property, for which the government paid $100,000; a large house & 5.5 acres was bought & improved with the purchase money. The conference center was named Brinton House in honor of Howard & Anna. The Steere Wing & Conlon room were added later. The Blue Route cut off wooded trails connecting PH & Swarthmore College.
Grounds-manager (for 34 years as of 2020) Lloyd Guindon initiated the wood-chipped "Perimeter Path" plan in 1989. Approximately a mile long, the Path circles the property on both sides of Plush Mill Road; neighbors sur- rounding the property make frequent use of it. Blue Route traffic noise hasn't proved PH's ruin after all; an earthen berm aids in noise abatement. An en- closed garden with a small waterfall & pool, benches & a screened shelter was created 2003-04, & named Owen's Garden in Owen Richmond's memory.
New House/ A Great People to be Scattered—Before a neighboring family put their 6-bedroom house on the market, they gave PH the chance to buy it. The new house fit well with PH's spirit & style of hospitality; it doesn't have a permanent name yet. The Greek word for "house" is oikos, which is also the root for "economy," "ecology" & "ecumenical." These 3 words describe 3 dimensions of PH's hospitality. It has taken economy & stewardship to get PH through changing times. Hodgkin's open-ended Christian faith & Brinton's dialog with Eastern tradition's provided an ecumenical, inter-faith dimension. PH's sensitivity to the land it occupies, its organic garden, & permaculture classes it has taught reflects it ecological dimension.
PH is a place where visions are received & followed. Thousands have been renewed, refreshed & sent back out into the world. Vincent Harding, Martin Luther King, Jr.'s friend & ally was invited to PH in 1979. He finished There is a River at PH. He taught nonviolent social change, Black liberation & other movements. He was at Iliff Theological Seminary & directed the Vete- rans of Hope project before coming back to PH in 2014. He was an inspiration to the community, affirming this nation will continue living into its constitution and its ideals.
As I write this, demonstrations have taken place nationwide. Interim director Traci Hjelt Sullivan wrote: "PH strives to support agents of change ... to strengthen classes related to overcoming racism ... & those classes for & led by people of color ... Let us become the ancestors deserving of our great- grandchildren's pride." PH intends to be part of the recovery that [goes beyond the pandemic & effects a lasting transformation of the world].
[Excerpts from] Pendle Hill Timeline—1930: Opening of Pendle Hill (PH) on 7 acres, Main House & Barn; Henry T. Hodgkin, Director. 1932: Hodgkin forced to leave by failing health; John Hughes, acting director. 1934: PH Pamphlet series begins. 1934-35; 1936-52: Howard Brinton, director (acting 1 year; 13 years co-director with wife Anna; 3 years, sole director). 1936-37: Upmeads, Waysmeet, Edgehill built.
[Excerpts from] Pendle Hill Timeline—1930: Opening of Pendle Hill (PH) on 7 acres, Main House & Barn; Henry T. Hodgkin, Director. 1932: Hodgkin forced to leave by failing health; John Hughes, acting director. 1934: PH Pamphlet series begins. 1934-35; 1936-52: Howard Brinton, director (acting 1 year; 13 years co-director with wife Anna; 3 years, sole director). 1936-37: Upmeads, Waysmeet, Edgehill built.
1940: Wakefield built. 1942-48: Training service in Friends Ambulance Unit and later AFSC relief and reconstruction. 1945: Firbank & 7 acres of land purchased.
1952-70: Dan Wilson, director (acting, 3 years; 15 executive, with Gilbert Kilpack, dean of studies (DOS)). 1958: Chace dormitory built.
1960: PH's 1st art studio in Firbank basement. 1965: Crosslands built. 1968: Cadbury Court & maintenance shop/ garage built. 1969: Brinton House property (conference center; on 5.4. acres).
1971-4: Colin Bell (1 year, director); Bob Scholz (1 year, DOS; 2 years, director. 1974-81: Edwin Sanders, director ("executive clerk" (EC)). 1975-85: Parker Palmer (5 years, DOS; 5 years, teacher, writer in residence).
1981-6: Robert Lyon serves as EC. 1986-91: Margery Walker, executive secretary (ES). 1989-90: Perimeter Path is established. 1989-2003: expan- sion & renovations.
1991-2011: Daniel Seeger, ES (9 Years); Steve Baumgartner, director (5+ years); Barbara Parsons, Ken & Katherine Jacobsen (collectively, 2+ years as interim); Lauri Perman, director (4 Years).
2003-04: Owen's Garden developed. 2011-19: Jennifer Karsten, direc- tor. 2014: Resident program ends in Spring. 2019: Traci Hjelt Sullivan be- comes interim. 2020- : Francisco Burgos begins as director.
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American Quaker Scholar-Activist Challenges Conventional
Narratives (by Harold D. Weaver; 2020)
About the Author—Dr. Harold D. Weaver is Associate at Harvard's Hutchin Center for African & African-American Research & Davis Center for Russian & Eurasian Studies. Hal has been a lifelong cultural ambassador, breaking barriers & building bridges. Hal is part of the BlackQuaker Project; he co-edited with Paul Kriese & Stephen Angell, Black Fire: African-American Quakers on Spirituality & Human Rights (2011). Hall has served in governance roles in 6 Quaker Organizations, including their UN Office, and Pendle Hill. Introduction—I am grateful for the chance to share my thoughts about achieving better society, drawing on Truth, Peace, Equality, Community, & Justice Testimonies. Ira Reid asked: How can I acceptably say what weighs heavily on my mind & heart? I have deep concerns that will impact our Society & broader society in coming years. I will raise more questions than I answer. I'm impatient with untruths from misinformation or deliberate disinfor- mation, in media, schools, & top elected officials.
COVID-19 has uncovered hard realities many of us were reluctant to admit existed, let alone confront. There are structural & institutional forces we have ignored that we can ignore no longer. I will educate Friends on Truth, our historical realities as slave-owners & slavery supporters & its continued impact. I will clarify ambiguities & redefine words in continuing revelation.
I hope for deeper, more accurate understanding of all social interactions' roots, solutions to problems, as we begin with truth. I hope we play a more committed, important role in seeking justice, not expect others to do it for us. My ancestors are North America's Indigenous inhabitants, chattel slaves kid- napped from Africa, slave masters from Europe. My ancestral oppressors & oppressed lived under the same ideals of liberty & equality. Quaker faith was introduced to me in 11th grade at Westtown School in 1950 and continued at Haverford.
My self-fulfillment expanded in unimagined ways; I became a conscien- tious objector. I commit my Self to acting on Truth, Peace, Equality, Commu- nity, & Justice Testimonies. I will ask Friends to acknowledge the impact of institutional and systemic racism; to consider a comprehensive retrospective justice program to help remove the historical inequities, inhumanity, & oppres- sive legacy of chattel slavery. For decades I have been involved in correcting misinformation and disinformation among Friends & in the outside world.
Bayard Rustin's name was removed as co-author to Speak Truth to Power; McCarthyism, racism, homophobia were the forces at work. I worked on the AFSC board to return his name to its rightful place as co-author. Paul Robeson was removed from Rutgers University & US history as a renowned athlete, singer, actor, human rights activist, mainly because of the Red Scare of McCarthyism. I re-introduced Robeson to the world & initiated an honorary doctorate for him before he died.
Americans were told African students were mistreated in Moscow; the opposite was true. Glorification of British colonialism was disinformation, especially in the education field. Neglect of education forced many Africans to go to USSR for education & training. I am trying to educate Friends & others on how justice might be achieved in the 21st century & how retrospective justice might be done. Our world is built upon systemic injustice & intention- ally divided by race.
Defining Race, Racism, & Institutional Racism—What does "race" and "racism" mean? What should they mean? Race [allowed for sweeping disinformation] by perception of a "inferior caste" that "required" domination, "civilizing," by a self-perceived "superior" caste. Racism breaks down into individual & institutional racism; Power + Prejudice = Racism. Institutionally, it isn't just prejudice or an act of discrimination. It is the power to act on one's negative feelings about people of different skin colors, ethicities, races, castes. Institutional racism is racism embedded in the laws & procedures of an institution. Through it the power of white supremacy becomes legiti- mate and normalized, by keeping "them" in their place.
Pope Alexander VI justified & formalized taking of "discovered land"
from Non-Christian indigenous people & killing them if they refused to convert. US Supreme treated that act as law in Johnson v. M'Intosh, giving "European nations absolute right to New World land." The poll instituted in some states disenfranchised many African Americans & poor whites from exercising the right to vote. This and many other discriminatory laws allowed economic, political, sexual, & social exploitation & abuse to run rampant. Systemic discrimination or institutional racism is not necessarily a conscious act or intentional. It still benefits one caste over another.
Race: Chattel Slavery & Quakers in the US—The classification de- signed to give privilege & power to 1 caste over others is painful for perpe- trator & victim alike, with a legacy of hatred, prejudice, & white supremacy. It began with slave trade in the 15th century & continues still today. Americans are obsessed with race. For African Americans, the single most influential event related to race has been the tragedy of chattel slavery. They've been stigmatized by their: "Dark Continent" origins; skin color; centuries in slavery. The European part in slavery stretched 3,500 miles on the Western African coast & 500-1,000 miles inland. An estimated 12 million Africans were taken; about 10.5 million survived voyage.
Race: Chattel Slavery & Quakers in the US—The classification de- signed to give privilege & power to 1 caste over others is painful for perpe- trator & victim alike, with a legacy of hatred, prejudice, & white supremacy. It began with slave trade in the 15th century & continues still today. Americans are obsessed with race. For African Americans, the single most influential event related to race has been the tragedy of chattel slavery. They've been stigmatized by their: "Dark Continent" origins; skin color; centuries in slavery. The European part in slavery stretched 3,500 miles on the Western African coast & 500-1,000 miles inland. An estimated 12 million Africans were taken; about 10.5 million survived voyage.
Chattel slavery was characterized by domination, oppression, & a dehu- manization process, emphasized by Florida Governor Richard Keith Call in a letter to the North: "Here was animal in man form ... without spirit or pride of character ... A wild barbarian, tamed & civilized by slavery's discipline. Ryan Jordan wrote on Quaker reaction to slavery, synthesizing & analyzing dilemmas faced by Quakers & others who weren't sure how far or fast to go in advoca- ting abolition.
Some actively advocated for abolition, including Captain Paul Cuffe, the African-Indigenous American Quaker shipowner. Many individual Friends & meetings tried to halt efforts of abolitionists, some regarding it as a "contami- nating influence," & denouncing anti-slavery men. Abolitionist William Bassett was disowned by New England YM in 1840.
New York Times' groundbreaking 1619 Project reveals how US econo- mic-political-cultural-social system has been a slave economy dependent on African labor. Abolition of slavery did not halt white-supremacist ideology that "black people belonged to an inferior, subhuman race. The modern industri- alized society grew through continued legal exploitation, dehumanization, systemic & direct violence, which persists in the 21st century.
Legacy of Slavery in the US: Structural Violence—I am concerned by tendencies to look at symptoms & not causes; we never gain full under- standing of violence's scope. Quakers assume: If only they had accurate knowledge, they would be respectful & sympathetic of different people, cul- tures, & societies. We must define structural violence & then determine how to confront it as it so cleverly evades us.
New York Times' groundbreaking 1619 Project reveals how US econo- mic-political-cultural-social system has been a slave economy dependent on African labor. Abolition of slavery did not halt white-supremacist ideology that "black people belonged to an inferior, subhuman race. The modern industri- alized society grew through continued legal exploitation, dehumanization, systemic & direct violence, which persists in the 21st century.
Legacy of Slavery in the US: Structural Violence—I am concerned by tendencies to look at symptoms & not causes; we never gain full under- standing of violence's scope. Quakers assume: If only they had accurate knowledge, they would be respectful & sympathetic of different people, cul- tures, & societies. We must define structural violence & then determine how to confront it as it so cleverly evades us.
Professor Johan Galtung distinguishes among several types of violence, stating that "violence is present when human beings are being influenced [such that what they achieve] is below their potential realizations. Structural violence refers to political & economic inequalities built into social structures ... The lower end of the socio-economic scale are materially and psycholo- gically deprived of fulfillment. We are conditioned not to see it, or to feel we cannot change it."
Mahatma Gandhi said poverty was the worst form of violence. W.E.B. DuBois urges 12 million Negroes to not be ashamed of being grandchildren of slaves. Dishonor lies in being a slave owner. "Truth ever is, untruth never was." Gandhi's teachings were later used by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. & Bayard Rustin. Minister Malcolm made overtures to Dr. King's family to collaborate before Malcolm was assassinated. Bill Sutherland cites "interconnected roots of violence," & racism, sexism, capitalism, heterosexism, ageism as "structural & institutional roots of conflict. Nonviolent protest includes "strikes, boycotts, fasts, mass demonstrations."
Brazilian Archbishop Dom Helder Camara argues that a society based on systemic violence isn't truly peaceful. "Justice is the condition for peace, the path, way. Only through justice can true & lasting peace be achieved. Palesti- nian & Quaker activist Jean Zaru cites multiple types of structural violence to which we here add 2.
[Pamphlet's author lists an average of more than 5 practices under each type]: Direct Violence; Economic Structural Violence; Political Structural Vio- lence; Cultural Structural Violence; Religious Structural Violence; Environmen- tal Structural Violence; Health Structural Violence; Educational Structural Violence. Structural Violence is wide-reaching; the difficulty is its perceived complexity. Resistance challenges, speaks truth to power, & is refusal to be neglected & disregarded. We must challenge head-on poverty, sexism, racism, etc. Direct violence is a symptom of systemic violence. We must be activists, & we must be anti-violent.
A Proposed Plan of Action: Education & Retrospective Justice— How can we individually & collectively rectify slavery's legacy & its impact on descendants of enslaved & enslaver? My 3-part plan is: educa- tion or re-education on slavery & its legacy; program for retrospective justice; revitalized justice testimony.
How do we use Quaker space as alternative information centers to counteract "politics of erasure," & disinformation? The BlackQuaker Pro- ject celebrates lives & contributions of Quakers of Color Worldwide. Univer- sity of MA Amherst has Quakers of Color International Archive. There is a list of resources at www.theblackquakerproject.org/resources.
How do we use Quaker space as alternative information centers to counteract "politics of erasure," & disinformation? The BlackQuaker Pro- ject celebrates lives & contributions of Quakers of Color Worldwide. Univer- sity of MA Amherst has Quakers of Color International Archive. There is a list of resources at www.theblackquakerproject.org/resources.
Sir Hilary Beckles said: "[It] is not about retribution & anger; it is about atonement & building bridges across lines of moral justice. Retrospective Jus- tice is attempts to administer justice decades or centuries after the commis- sion of severe injustice or injustices, "crimes against humanity." It is a less emotional, positive term. It's not about the money. Damages have qualitative, psychological, sociological, cultural meaning. 18th century Rhode Island Friends said: "Surely perpetrators should atone for the offense by offering some kind of amends to their victim." There has never been a unified ap- proach from the Society of Friends toward the legacy of slavery.
I am proposing the following steps to individuals, meetings and organi- zations inside & outside of Friends: Formal acknowledgement of offense; commitment to truth-telling; making amends. These are based on the Slavery & Justice report, written by the Brown University Steering Committee on Slavery & Justice in 2006. The committee established the transatlantic slave trade as a crime against humanity, "directed at particular groups of people, who were thoroughly degraded & dehumanized; its effects have lasted until the current day through social stigma & formal institutions. Retributive justice is no longer possible. Brown held that: "Some crimes are so atrocious the damage they do extends beyond victims & perpetrators to encompass entire societies.
The Society needs to acknowledge that Quakers have been slave owners and supporter of the transatlantic slave trade. Some Quakers are now researching their families' involvement in the trade & how their families profit from that in the 21st century. The truth needs telling, in all its complexity. A clear historical record needs to be created and inscribed into the collective memory of relevant institutions or nations. How can Quakers provide retro- spective justice for our involvement in this crime against humanity? There needs to be an annual day of remembrance. A day of international - acknowledgement already exists on March 25. We are obligated to ack- nowledge this reality as a majority atrocity in Quaker US & world history.
Making amends would entail a commitment to a massive development effort, similar to the US government's post-war Marshall Plan, and would aim at reconciliation & healing. Similar failed efforts were made during post-Emanci- pation years. [Notable successful steps in this direction include] the National Museum of African American History & Culture in Washington, D.C. & Sir Hilary Beckles' efforts as chairman of an effort at reparations for the Caribbean. £20 million has been set aside. Actually, very little has been done to com- pensate for years of unremunerated toil, or to bridge the racial chasm.
Robust Active Justice Testimony—In 2008, my BlackQuaker Project formed an Ad Hoc Working Group for Justice Testimony. We identified that "justice has a 2-fold meaning: spiritual (righteousness, observing divine law; temporal: fair-dealing, integrity, seeking to live in nonviolence, compassion redemption & love. Queries: How might a Justice testimony help Friends in spiritual & temporal practices? How does our meeting respond to the need for justice? How does not seeking justice affect our spiritual lives? If compassion is love in action, what is justice in action? How does oppression dehumanize & dim the Light in all? How are you open to new light, [in this case, the light from a fuller sense of justice]?
Robust Active Justice Testimony—In 2008, my BlackQuaker Project formed an Ad Hoc Working Group for Justice Testimony. We identified that "justice has a 2-fold meaning: spiritual (righteousness, observing divine law; temporal: fair-dealing, integrity, seeking to live in nonviolence, compassion redemption & love. Queries: How might a Justice testimony help Friends in spiritual & temporal practices? How does our meeting respond to the need for justice? How does not seeking justice affect our spiritual lives? If compassion is love in action, what is justice in action? How does oppression dehumanize & dim the Light in all? How are you open to new light, [in this case, the light from a fuller sense of justice]?
I have asked Friends to look at societal problems through new lenses: to confront systemic violence; to recognize institutional & systemic racism; to consider a comprehensive retrospective justice program to remove inequities & inhumanity of slavery and its long-standing after-effects; address the continuing injustice reinforced by misinformation & disinformation in media, education & political discourse. I hope taking action becomes widespread within & beyond Quakers [to include all faithful people].
466. Cultivating Sanctuary: Hallowed Places and Inner States (by
Gunilla Norris; 2020)
About the Author—Gunilla Norris is the author of 11 books, including: Being Home; Inviting Silence; Companions on the Way; & Touched by Blessing. Her poetry books include Joy is the Thinnest Layer. She has felt privileged to accompany people on their journeys to growth, healing and spiritual connectedness.
Editor's Foreword—We know from experience that we hold apart a space where we regularly meet the Spirit. In the age of Coronavirus, we miss the spaces where we were able to worship in person with others. As meaning- ful as they are, meeting houses are not the point; real, lasting sanctuary in the Divine is.
Editor's Foreword—We know from experience that we hold apart a space where we regularly meet the Spirit. In the age of Coronavirus, we miss the spaces where we were able to worship in person with others. As meaning- ful as they are, meeting houses are not the point; real, lasting sanctuary in the Divine is.
A Place of Grace—Sanctuary may be a place, a structure for worship, or a special place in nature. Everyone needs sanctuary, where vigilance can be relaxed, where rest is possible & recovery happens. I'll begin by conside- ring the meeting house and some of its contents. In meeting there is a willing- ness to come together. Meeting is being created every 1st day, & every day in between. It is a dance that consecrates the places, & gives dignity to those who come [each time we gather]. What makes a sanctuary alive & thri- ving? There's thoughtful care of the place. It can be felt in the air as it ani- mates the meeting house. Whatever our visible or subtle contribution, we come together with constancy that puts energy into the meeting house. We bring & leave something of our Self there in the [predominant] silence.
Even alone we can sense there-ness of those in the distant & recent past, who entered inner places of worship. Each of us is making a sanctuary within our Self, nurturing into being a safe place to be offered to others. Chil- dren know they are at home & welcome, & make a joyful noise unto the Lord. Holding one another in the Light illumines dark corners of the soul that need compassion, time & release. We all take refuge in someone's heart. "Make of us a sacred space,/ our lives the home of loving. Our hearts so long to be your dwelling place." I will bring up physical aspects of Westerly Friends Meeting house and the more invisible aspects of sanctuary.
Reflections on Meeting & the Sacredness of Place—Meeting houses wait unadorned, a sanctuary and refuge for body, mind and soul. Sacred places have a constancy in them, as we imbue them with our lives, hopes & concerns. The Covenant was, is, & will be there wherever there is for those seeking God as center. Meeting house is a relationship house. Many have favorite places to sit, a place for an ongoing relationship with God, a haven within a bigger haven, our confessional, comfort, thanksgiving. It holds our distractions and vulnerable humanness. The physical worship place speaks to us, reminding us what is important. We sit in the prayers of those who have sat where we sit; others will sit in our prayers. Our souls are remembered in presence & service.
Staircase/ Doorknob/ Quilts—We climb a steep set of stairs when we enter sanctuary. There are aids for both able and disabled to climb the stairs. Climbing stairs is an age old image of spiritual ascent & consent, of reaching a new level. When we find our Self on a landing between levels, it is a place of integration and rest. Once in the meeting room, it is by listening & cooperating that we are folded in the way Spirit wants to work with us and in us.
Staircase/ Doorknob/ Quilts—We climb a steep set of stairs when we enter sanctuary. There are aids for both able and disabled to climb the stairs. Climbing stairs is an age old image of spiritual ascent & consent, of reaching a new level. When we find our Self on a landing between levels, it is a place of integration and rest. Once in the meeting room, it is by listening & cooperating that we are folded in the way Spirit wants to work with us and in us.
When we leave our sanctuary we go down the same stairs & take up our life in the world. Some Native American spiritualities have ladders to go down into the kiva, the earth; we must go down to sacred earthiness of the everyday. As we take steps to act in the world, it is important to be aware of limits. There's an end to each step [& a landing which] lets us see how to correct our course both as a community & as individuals; take note before going on. We climb to participate in silent worship; we descend into the world & its needs.
We all need inner doorknobs to open doors into new behavior, under-standing, love, & willingness to live in mystery. The doorknob on our sanctuary is knee-high. When we enter our sanctuary by turning that knob, we can ask our so-called grown-up self to step down, to be more open, less layered & simply be with others, absorbing the hidden beauty in everything; being is sacred. Entering our sanctuary alone, silence meets us & wraps around us like a comforter. Faithfulness is like a quilt's batting, unseen but felt as it warms us. Patchwork quilts hang on the back of meeting benches; any community is a patchwork, created by the work of many. World spiritual traditions tell us we are one though many; Christianity has the Body of Christ; quilts signal diversity & oneness.
Shutters/ View from a Bench—Our wooden shutters are tall & fragile; they must be opened and closed carefully; they help with the cost of heating. Each of us has inner shutters, to keep others and the world at bay. How to discern the openings & closing of inner shutters takes careful conscience & consideration. We all have hidden shutters; we need the help of others who will know with us to have integrity, to be too open or too closed less often. Nothing about conscience can be hurried; we need to be open to what we may not want to know. Discernment is a deep, holy, tender thing Friends do together.
We all enter our sanctuary down the middle, most of us walking through an empty middle space to our chosen seats. Middle ground is gracious, spa- cious place we can tend in silence, where differences stand side by side, intu- itions & invitation float up, & we can be our real Self. Wherever we sit, we are facing into the possibilities of middle ground; this shared sacred space asks us to be open, to live with gusto, expressing that of God within.
We all enter our sanctuary down the middle, most of us walking through an empty middle space to our chosen seats. Middle ground is gracious, spa- cious place we can tend in silence, where differences stand side by side, intu- itions & invitation float up, & we can be our real Self. Wherever we sit, we are facing into the possibilities of middle ground; this shared sacred space asks us to be open, to live with gusto, expressing that of God within.
Waiting/ Breath—How is waiting both physical & metaphysical sanctuary? We could think of our Self as a wait staff to divine visitation, always on call, ready to be of use as Spirit moves us; such openness is tough & constant work. Sometimes we want to flee sanctuary because our inner temples are a furious, overflowing mess. Stillness exists as a gift we wait to discover in us. In profound waiting, we may escape inner predators, and demons, becoming sanctuaries where Spirit comes & dwells.
Spirit loves weakness & comes to us when we are truly honest about our condition. We serve by holding the planet's & people's common pain. Con- scious breathing has always been a spiritual practice; it can be sanctuary. Receive gifts of being in a profound & very necessary rhythm of letting go & taking in. The extended pause between inhaling & exhaling is the blessed, nothing place. Cultivating awareness of this nothing, we will slowly transform urgent feelings to those of refuge & peace.
Listening/ Limitation—Listening, which is with our whole Self; we be- come centers of care. Henri Nouwen wrote: "Their presence is a healing pre- sence because they accept you, your life, your vocation, on your terms." Really listening and being heard is soul work; something opens up for both. Instead of limiting our minds into easy answers, we open space for what can emerge. If we can say anything to each other, we probably don't need to say anything. A truly listening heart becomes a beacon of light. In meeting, Spirit is listening to us as a whole.
No one can excel in their field without great concentration, limiting their activities to the needs of their purpose; limitations are accepted, even em- braced. The restriction on spending in becoming debt-free becomes a sanc- tuary. Any discipline we choose will give us a place to inwardly nurture our values, our purposes, what we will, & will not do. How can involuntary limi- tation have a positive effect on our lives? A door to a desired part of life, or even just a normal life may be slammed shut, but one may open to more community, love, care, & transformation. In aging, our bodies slow down, we become more vulnerable; others get to help us, & our souls have a chance to expand & grow. We can grow strong within boundaries. Wendell Berry wrote: "The impeded stream is the one that sings."
No one can excel in their field without great concentration, limiting their activities to the needs of their purpose; limitations are accepted, even em- braced. The restriction on spending in becoming debt-free becomes a sanc- tuary. Any discipline we choose will give us a place to inwardly nurture our values, our purposes, what we will, & will not do. How can involuntary limi- tation have a positive effect on our lives? A door to a desired part of life, or even just a normal life may be slammed shut, but one may open to more community, love, care, & transformation. In aging, our bodies slow down, we become more vulnerable; others get to help us, & our souls have a chance to expand & grow. We can grow strong within boundaries. Wendell Berry wrote: "The impeded stream is the one that sings."
Discernment/ Questioning/ Afterthoughts—Discernment is a place where multiplicity exists, until a sense of direction, conviction, or chosen action constellates. We automatically judge & objectify the world, isolating us from its
creative flow. We are making strangers & objects of people that belong in our world. We can't make anything permanent. To know & feel the connection to things will make a space for kindness inside us. We belong to the family of humankind, other living beings, & the earth itself. We want to stop the subtle killing that judgment is. Why not find 100 ways that we belong & can serve? Finding ways may help us discover that we truly belong & are at home & vulnerable, in connection with everything, creating community.
I attended a Zen monastery with its narrow 4-by-4 cushion & silence. That exposure led me to sit in silence & stillness in the Quaker meetings. To be in place, to empty the mind of questions, to experience the truth of the mo- ment itself isn't easy. It's sitting in a question without an answer, except the experience of being fully where I am; then, experiences of Spirit can be felt. There's need to be where we are without canned answers, in the sanctity of not knowing.
I attended a Zen monastery with its narrow 4-by-4 cushion & silence. That exposure led me to sit in silence & stillness in the Quaker meetings. To be in place, to empty the mind of questions, to experience the truth of the mo- ment itself isn't easy. It's sitting in a question without an answer, except the experience of being fully where I am; then, experiences of Spirit can be felt. There's need to be where we are without canned answers, in the sanctity of not knowing.
Perhaps then we feel the Spirit's invitation & question, to which we will be the answer. Living vibrant, unanswerable questions is a deep prayer. May we respond to Spirit's invitation to us to be living answers to others' needs. To have a sanctuary is a blessed thing; it's making a space for the Spirit's work to grow in us. Where is a place of steadiness & peace? What is sanctuary for us & home for our souls? The answer to that is sanctuary's essence.
Queries—Which words describing sanctuary resonate most for you & your experience of sanctuary? Where do you find & experience sanctuary? What methods or practices do you use to create sanc- tuary within yourself? How have you found limitation to be sanctuary or transformation? What is the role of community in cultivating sanc- tuary? How have you found that providing sanctuary for others pro- vides it for yourself? How might you provide sanctuary for a person, place or cause?
467. Sir Arthur Stanley Eddington: Scientific Genius, Philosopher,
and Quaker Mystic (by Donald Vesey; 2021)
About the Author—Donald Vessey has a Ph. D. in bio-chemistry; he has retired and goes to San Diego Friends Meeting. He has served on com- mittees there, has written 3 books, including Light from a Rising Soul, and contributed to Befriending Creation.
About the Author—Donald Vessey has a Ph. D. in bio-chemistry; he has retired and goes to San Diego Friends Meeting. He has served on com- mittees there, has written 3 books, including Light from a Rising Soul, and contributed to Befriending Creation.
Who does not prize these moments that reveal to us the poetry of existence. Sir Arthur Eddington
[Introduction]/ Eddington's World—Sir Arthur Stanley Eddington (1882-1944) was arguably the most influential Quaker since George Fox. He made daring contributions to the restoration of internationalism in science following WWI. His stance as a scientist & a man of spirit was an incredible risk of being dismissed—deemed unstable—because of his spiritual beliefs. This is someone everyone should know about for his Quaker faith's impor- tance to his life's work, and to his selfless service to humanity, that we might possibly emulate them.
In the 20th century's beginning, science & materialism were thought to [explain] the world. Eddington knew, based on Quaker practice, of an "unseen spiritual world." [He shared this belief], and suggested that science didn't have & couldn't get all the answers. The motivation for his research stemmed from a desire to trace God's handiwork. Through his efforts he managed to restore collaboration among scientists of all nations. Eddington was also deeply imbedded in the Quaker Renaissance & the Manchester Conference in 1895. His lecture, Science & the Unseen World is an example of this, & his life a model of how to live personal faith in the world.
Early Life—Eddington was born in 1882. His father, a 4th generation farmer saw to it that he had an excellent education. After his father died in 1884, the family moved to Weston-super-Mare. He had a remarkable memory and affinity for numbers. He was admitted to Manchester University before he turned 16, and [mentored] by the principal, John William Graham, who spoke in 1895 at the Manchester Conference, a turning point in developing Liberal Quakerism, with its importance of the Inner Light and a constant pursuit of the truth; this suited Eddington's personality; he now began his lifelong passion for cycling.
Early Life—Eddington was born in 1882. His father, a 4th generation farmer saw to it that he had an excellent education. After his father died in 1884, the family moved to Weston-super-Mare. He had a remarkable memory and affinity for numbers. He was admitted to Manchester University before he turned 16, and [mentored] by the principal, John William Graham, who spoke in 1895 at the Manchester Conference, a turning point in developing Liberal Quakerism, with its importance of the Inner Light and a constant pursuit of the truth; this suited Eddington's personality; he now began his lifelong passion for cycling.
His study-mentor was physicist & mathematician Arthur Schuster, who among other things stressed the importance of international cooperation in sci- ence; [this could have led] to Eddington's lifelong friendship with Albert Ein- stein & his efforts to restore international scientific cooperation. At Cambridge he met Charles Trimble and began a lifelong friendship. He graduated in 1905, first in his class; Charles Trimble was fourth.
The Scientist—In 1906 he joined the Friends' Guild of Teachers, which trained teachers for Quaker schools. Eddington was an active participant in the Guild most of his life & served as president for several years. The same year he also got the position of Chief Assistant at the Royal Greenwich Observatory, working on skills in astronomy and statistical cosmology. Later that year he was admitted to the Royal Astronomical Society.
His spiritual life was frustrated by the London Quakers' largely conser- vative and evangelical stance, which did not support his Liberal, anti-creed, direct experience of Divine Presence views. He became a Cambridge pro- fessor and director of the Cambridge Observatory, where he lived. In 1914, he published Stellar Movements and the Structure of the Universe. As a teacher, he had a dull, classical Cambridge style; his public lectures were elegant and interesting. The family became lifelong members of the Jesus Lane Friends Meeting. Eddington was a relatively quiet attendee, never offering vocal ministry; a few times he rose and recited a poem into meeting. He was auditor of the meeting's accounts.
His spiritual life was frustrated by the London Quakers' largely conser- vative and evangelical stance, which did not support his Liberal, anti-creed, direct experience of Divine Presence views. He became a Cambridge pro- fessor and director of the Cambridge Observatory, where he lived. In 1914, he published Stellar Movements and the Structure of the Universe. As a teacher, he had a dull, classical Cambridge style; his public lectures were elegant and interesting. The family became lifelong members of the Jesus Lane Friends Meeting. Eddington was a relatively quiet attendee, never offering vocal ministry; a few times he rose and recited a poem into meeting. He was auditor of the meeting's accounts.
During WWI, Eddington was actively engaged in teaching and research; he was deeply opposed to taking life under any condition & of promoting the war effort, [even when faced with] fearful & angry citizens. When Great Britain switched to conscription, Eddington want to claim exemption as a conscienti- ous objector (CO), which was widely viewed with contempt. He was exempted instead on grounds of national interest to continue his research, and received churlish treatment. He supported his meeting's very active pacifism & oppo- sition to militarism. His exemption was terminated, & the university had to claim that he was indispensable to a total-eclipse field trip to Principe, a Por- tuguese island off the African coast, to get a new one for one year.
Willem de Sitter of the Netherlands alerted Eddington to the new theory of gravity developed by Einstein. The theory predicted that gravity warps space; space bends, curves near a massive object, such that one could see a star's image when it was behind the sun. Eddington helped prove this theory with photographs he took of stars during the eclipse; he wrote Einstein about it and Einstein approved.
Eddington and Einstein/ After Principe—Eddington felt he had not fully contributed as much during the war as his fellow Quakers. He saw an opportunity to make his Quaker contribution by helping to heal and restore international cooperation in science. He sought to build on his and Einstein's newfound fame, and to establish personal relationships that humanized the enemy and laid the groundwork for peace.
Eddington and Einstein/ After Principe—Eddington felt he had not fully contributed as much during the war as his fellow Quakers. He saw an opportunity to make his Quaker contribution by helping to heal and restore international cooperation in science. He sought to build on his and Einstein's newfound fame, and to establish personal relationships that humanized the enemy and laid the groundwork for peace.
Eddington saw Einstein's theory as a way to begin unification of inter- national scientific cooperation. Eddington and Einstein had been allies for 5 years, not only in science but also in the peace movement; they didn't meet until June 1921. Einstein spoke at Burlington House, the center of British science; it was a success & a great accomplishment for Eddington; Einstein stayed with Eddington at the Cambridge Observatory during his subsequent visits to Britain.
Eddington published Space, Time & Gravitation: An Outline of General Relativity Theory in 1920, a best-seller for the general public; it revealed that relativity wasn't completely understood by anyone. He wrote in this book's last chapter: "All through the physical world runs unknown content, which must surely be the stuff of our consciousness." He wrote Mathematical Theory of Relativity, a textbook using tensor calculus, in 1923; he published The Internal Constitution of Stars in 1926; he applied the theory of relativity to problems in astronomy. In 1927, he published Stars and Atoms, an intellectual exposition on stars, the universe, and subatomic energy.
The Philospher & Quaker Mystic—In 1928, he published his Gifford Lectures on natural theology & the divergence of science & religion in edited form as The Nature of the Physical World. He starts with the physics of the material world, and then takes on the issue of the mind & the so-called mind- brain, of non-material consciousness and the brain's physical material mass. "The stuff of the world is mind-stuff ... The mind-stuff is the aggregation of relations & the related things which form the building material for the physical world."
Consciousness may be considered more real than the "seemingly" concrete. Consciousness can't be created by the action of atoms & molecules in the tissues of the brain. Our mind's picture of a red rose comes from some other realm. Somehow the mind & brain must interact. Everything has consci- ousness or a mind, including the brain; it is the pre-existent "background" of everything.
Consciousness may be considered more real than the "seemingly" concrete. Consciousness can't be created by the action of atoms & molecules in the tissues of the brain. Our mind's picture of a red rose comes from some other realm. Somehow the mind & brain must interact. Everything has consci- ousness or a mind, including the brain; it is the pre-existent "background" of everything.
Eddington states his view of the mystical experience: "The nature of all reality is spiritual, not material nor dualism of matter and spirit ... [All our feelings, from those most apparent to those much deeper] are glimpses of a reality transcending the narrow limits of our particular consciousness ... Nature's harmony & beauty is one with the gladness the transfigures the face of man ... In the mystical feeling the truth is apprehended from within & is ... a part of ourselves ... Truth can only spring from a desire for truth which is in our nature."
[Science & the Unseen World, 1929]—Eddington's Swarthmore Lec- ture of 1929 was published that year as Science and the Unseen World. In it he reveals that what is missing from science's view of the universe's develop- ment and humankind's evolution is consciousness. The [disparate] natures of mind and brain doesn't change the fact that they must interact to produce conscious experience. "Penetrating as deeply as we can by the methods of physical investigation into the nature of a human being we reach only sym- bolic description ... Mind is the first and most direct thing in our experience; all else is remote inference."
Physics & mystics are dealing with 2 entirely different domains, so the unification of science is not strictly possible. There is an outlook for our envi- ronment other than the scientific one. Our environment may & should mean something towards us which isn't to be measured or described by science. Eddington's concern was to "dispel the feeling that [in spirituality we are doing something irrational and disobeying the leading of truth." Science pursues the truth of objective experience; religion pursues the truth of subjective experience.
Eddington felt his search for spiritual Truth was no less valid than his search for Truth in Science. "If religion isn't an attitude toward experience, but only a creed without contact with something [unexplainable & indescribable], it is not the Society of Friends' [worship or religion]. Professionals, both scien- tific and theological were upset by the books: scientists for his nonmateria- listic viewpoint; theologians for his lack of credentials as a theologian. Edding- ton ventured his best thoughts nonetheless.
Black Holes, the Big Bang, and Later Life—Eddington was knighted by the king in 1930, and selected for the Order of Merit, the 24 most significant members of the Commonwealth. He published 25 papers total in the fields of physics and astrophysics. For all this, there is one idea that fails [to break through one's ceiling of belief]. Eddington's was the existence of black holes, collapsed stars. When a brilliant young Indian mathematician presented mathematical proof, Eddington dismissed it. The proof was proven right 40 years later. He was a member of the National Peace Council, & its chair- person from 1941-43.
Eddington spent the last 10 years of his life working on a theory of everything. His final comment was, "I can't quite see through the proof but I am sure the result is correct." His work was edited and published posthumously under the title Fundamental Theory. It was considered a monumental work even though he was not successful. In the 1920's, the Russian mathematician Alexander Friedman and the Belgian priest Georges Lemaitre produced solutions to Einstein's equations that predicted the universe was in a state of constant change.
The Big Bang's mathematical proof was put forth in 1933. Eddington made remarks in 1929 that presaged this discovery. We can't get at the moment of the creation of everything, but it was the beginning of mass, time, & space from nothing, & must therefore have been created. The discoveries of science are consistent with the idea of a creative intelligence which created and sustains humanity; the creation event is beyond the reach of science.
Over the course of 1944, Eddington's health deteriorated & he was in considerable pain. Surgery revealed that he had stomach cancer. He lingered for 2 weeks and died on November 22, 1944. His sister Winifred, and best friend Charles Trimble collected material for a biography of Stanley. Very little personal material was available, as both Eddington & his sister destroyed most personal correspondence. The book was published in 1957, 3 years after Winifred's death in 1954. Eddington's research publications, lectures, confer- ence presentations, books and efforts towards supporting peace and social justice constituted an immense life's work that could only be accomplished by a man of incredible intelligence, creativity, dedication, intensity and spirituality.
468. God's Invitation to Creative Play (by Jesse White; 2021)
About the Author—Jesse White is a narrative expressionist visual artist, poet, teacher, and expressive art therapist from Philadelphia; she is a queer Quaker mystic, and a former Arts & Spirituality Co-ordinator at Pendle Hill. More can be found about Jesse and her creative work at https://pigeon- arts.com . See end of summary for Queries for Creative Play.
Introduction: Being Invited—The world needs creativity and creative people; we are all creative. How are you creative? Our relationship with God can be strengthened by creative play as a spiritual practice; it can ease us into a comfortable and exploratory relationship with God. Substitute another play practice for "arts practice" if it feels more relevant; substitute language for the Divine that resonates more closely with your preferred words. I feel called to share God's invitation to creative play with you.
Reverie: My Invitation to Creative Play/ Flow: Become Like Chil- dren—In pre-school silence, I was able to settle my anxious mind and restless body. Teacher Vera gave me access to that magic which comes when art and spirituality combine. At First Day School when I was 5, we paraded down the center of the meeting house in paper animal masks. I heard several memo- rable messages and songs, and some I don't remember. I heard for the first time how God can speak to us through the words of people; God was singing.
You are a 3-year old painting, painting dots and lines and shapes, with brush and fingers. You and God are making art, even if you have no words or theories on God just yet. Children intimately know God; we become less adept as we reach adulthood. Flow is losing time, space, and self-awareness. By experiencing flow often, we are happier and more successful in our lives. Chil- dren know how to access flow through creative play. They develop at just the right speed for themselves. They don't need words to express flow; they just enjoy it.
Returning to a Childlike State of Creative Collaboration with God/ Creative Play/ Essential Periods of Fascination, Curiosity, and Day- dreaming—NASA research queries: Where does creativity come from? Are some people born with it or is it learned? Or does it come from our experience? A creative potential test was given to 1,600 children between 4 & 5. As age increased the per-cent of creative geniuses dropped; 2% of adults are creative geniuses.
Returning to a Childlike State of Creative Collaboration with God/ Creative Play/ Essential Periods of Fascination, Curiosity, and Day- dreaming—NASA research queries: Where does creativity come from? Are some people born with it or is it learned? Or does it come from our experience? A creative potential test was given to 1,600 children between 4 & 5. As age increased the per-cent of creative geniuses dropped; 2% of adults are creative geniuses.
The way we learn academically & inter-personally pulls us away from our own ability to readily access our creativity. Adults who struggle with acces- sing their creativity must begin where they left it. Pick up the last creative tool or material you remember making something with and continue working with it. God will create with you as you open up to fascination, curiosity, and play.
Young children learn through creative play. It helps children problem- solve and learn resiliency. Adults also need creative play. Most adults learn themselves right out of play. We are expected to study and to acquire skills and experience. God is always with us, and is not looking for pleas for redemption from our frequent forgetting that God is always there; God has already forgiven us. Listen to children. They carry great questions and wisdom, and a close connection to God. Listen for their ministry while they are playing.
Our brains will only absorb so much information before we need to shift our bodies. [Too long a period of information gathering] leads our bodies to take us away in the form of a daydream. Mind-wandering or day-dreaming is pro- ductive; it helps us better facilitate creative problem-solving. We continue to sort out the tough challenges and finding creative solutions. Our spiritual deve- lopment needs curiosity and fascination. Wonderings & questions are often more important than knowing the answers. Rainer Maria Rilke said: "Perhaps you will ... live along some distant day into the answer."
Our brains will only absorb so much information before we need to shift our bodies. [Too long a period of information gathering] leads our bodies to take us away in the form of a daydream. Mind-wandering or day-dreaming is pro- ductive; it helps us better facilitate creative problem-solving. We continue to sort out the tough challenges and finding creative solutions. Our spiritual deve- lopment needs curiosity and fascination. Wonderings & questions are often more important than knowing the answers. Rainer Maria Rilke said: "Perhaps you will ... live along some distant day into the answer."
Fear, Shame, & Humility—Fear has an important function, but some- times it gets overly imaginative and overreacts to situations as they arise. We may be pulling up deep-down fears such as being unloved, or abandoned, which often is connected with shame. Healthy shame teaches us how to be with one another in healthy ways; it teaches us humility and lets us know we are not God. There is something or someone greater than ourselves. Healthy shame is a feeling of our core boundaries and limitedness.
There is another kind of shame that keeps us from making art; it is toxic. Shame is the lie someone told you about yourself. We need to speak our stories of shame again and again with compassionate witnesses until we no longer feel controlled. To name something is to make it small enough to be cared for and controlled. When we speak our fear and our shame, we can have greater power over them. Creative play moves us spiritually through our fear and shame. We can feel God connecting all the parts in the silences in between. When we are afraid and feel lost, being creative can heal us.
Reverie: Re-Creating My Relationships with God & with Myself/ Common Creative Fears—I struggled with depression in middle school. I read about the profession of expressive arts therapy as a healing practice; I felt right about it. In the winter of my senior year, my depression was deeper than before, with suicidal & compulsive, self-harming behaviors. "God's wrath" was my own human monster, a chemical imbalance & newly found traumatic experiences. Losing myself in creative flow helped me return to my healthy Self.
[To more easily] step into creative play, I invite you to explore an artistic activity. We have all harbored creative fears. Surrender to the process & make something ugly. Realizing this fear may release you from further fear. Good work requires learning, & learning requires risking imperfection. If you only do what you are sure of doing perfectly, you will never grow. There are very few creative geniuses among adults. The secret is not to hope for talent, but for courage and tenacity. You don't lack your own magic; everybody has it. It is common for an ordinary person to be capable of mysticism, and to not listen perfectly or always be brave.
If you are making artistic work, then you are its creator. You [need not] doubt your qualifications. Fearing you are just pretending undervalues your work. [We may doubt our emotional flexibility] & fear getting stuck. We have great ability to shift between experiences. Everything cycles. You won't get stuck. We need to practice both convergent (seeking a single correct answer), & divergent (exploring many creative responses) thinking. Healthy & productive creative processes benefit from periods of focus & periods of curiosity, day- dream, & play.
Reverie: God-fearing/ Spiritual Fears/ Everyone is Creative — During worship in college, I once got "Quaker shakes," which usually means I am supposed to share, & the message, "Be still. Be Silent." A spiritually aware Quaker noticed blue light all around me. I wanted to rid myself of God. God wouldn't release me. I entered into a deep mysticism. Suddenly, I realized that surrendering my personal power to God, I can release & settle into empowered collaboration. I trust that my hand, my words, my actions will be guided & sup- ported. I don't have to act alone.
[To more easily] step into creative play, I invite you to explore an artistic activity. We have all harbored creative fears. Surrender to the process & make something ugly. Realizing this fear may release you from further fear. Good work requires learning, & learning requires risking imperfection. If you only do what you are sure of doing perfectly, you will never grow. There are very few creative geniuses among adults. The secret is not to hope for talent, but for courage and tenacity. You don't lack your own magic; everybody has it. It is common for an ordinary person to be capable of mysticism, and to not listen perfectly or always be brave.
If you are making artistic work, then you are its creator. You [need not] doubt your qualifications. Fearing you are just pretending undervalues your work. [We may doubt our emotional flexibility] & fear getting stuck. We have great ability to shift between experiences. Everything cycles. You won't get stuck. We need to practice both convergent (seeking a single correct answer), & divergent (exploring many creative responses) thinking. Healthy & productive creative processes benefit from periods of focus & periods of curiosity, day- dream, & play.
Reverie: God-fearing/ Spiritual Fears/ Everyone is Creative — During worship in college, I once got "Quaker shakes," which usually means I am supposed to share, & the message, "Be still. Be Silent." A spiritually aware Quaker noticed blue light all around me. I wanted to rid myself of God. God wouldn't release me. I entered into a deep mysticism. Suddenly, I realized that surrendering my personal power to God, I can release & settle into empowered collaboration. I trust that my hand, my words, my actions will be guided & sup- ported. I don't have to act alone.
Spiritual fears include: receiving a leading; doubting abilities to carry it out; not wanting to carry it out; overwhelming emotions from listening more faithfully to God; others' opinions of your mystical experiences. We have the spiritual resiliency to survive our fears of being spiritually led. We must have faith that we can do the thing that scares us and move through fear. My physical, emotional, and spiritual health is dependent on sustained creative & spiritual practices. Creating art is essential to hearing God's leadings, which leads to losing my sense of time and space and diving into a collaboration with the Creator. The more I release into playfulness, mystery, and sit with questions, the easier it is to be led and live through our creative and spiritual fears. We then return to self, our spiritual center and that of God in ourselves.
Creativity is universal, innate, and vital to our well-being; it is part of our design. Our bodies understand creativity as a vital process. Our bodies con- stantly create new cells, and anti-bodies to fight off infection. Doing without expectation of external rewards is being in the ecstatic experience of flow. In it I am threading together new ideas like pearls of wisdom on a string as they are revealed to me. If we begin, we will be assisted in the motion. To achieve this state of movement & flow, we must surrender into the belief that ideas [will] come, that we will find the breath that brings life to our creation. The more trust we have in our ability to be led in our work, the more fulfilling the experience of creating.
Essential Ingredients for Creative and Spiritual Nourishment/ Invi- tation—There are some common ingredients in creative play & spiritual nou- rishment: Be courageous. Practice sustained openness of heart (with it I can align and collaborate with divine energy). Listen. (Spiritual listeners learn to let God's nudgings move throughout their whole body; some use it to discern a call to vocal ministry. Feeling unwell can be a sign I am off course in my co- creating with God. Listening physically is crucial to understanding how I am being led, & in allowing transformation and creativity to move through me). Create; make things. (Dialogue with your work and with God. Honor your col- laboration with the Creator).
Mend with Mindfulness & Soothing (When emotions have become too raw to continue, I know it is time for mending. The mindfulness is sensual & is done without judgment and soothing is sensual self-care & pampering). Prac- tice Gratitude (Feel grateful and express your gratitude with thanksgiving, & awe). Sharing. (Let others know about your creative process, your creative works, & your gratitude. Sharing validates us & our creative journeys & shares God's message in the work with others). Teach. (As you teach, you help solidify truths about your process for yourself, & share the gift of creative play with others).
God asks us to begin creative work, believing that we will be carried by God through a process and will move through a living question. There are no accidents and no mistakes in this process. Friends, we were created to create. This is an invitation to be courageous and make a play date with God—to learn and create together. God is waiting for our gentle return. Return. Create. Play.
Queries for Creative Play—When was the last time you played? When did you last make something; what was it? What will you make now? What are you curious about? What fascinates you? Where does your mind go when you daydream? In what ways are you creative? When have you experienced a flow state? How can you best practice intuitive listening and discernment? What spiritual metaphors resonate with you? What helps you practice mindfulness? How is your heart open and what does it yearn for? Where in your body do you most readily listen?
Queries for Creative Play—When was the last time you played? When did you last make something; what was it? What will you make now? What are you curious about? What fascinates you? Where does your mind go when you daydream? In what ways are you creative? When have you experienced a flow state? How can you best practice intuitive listening and discernment? What spiritual metaphors resonate with you? What helps you practice mindfulness? How is your heart open and what does it yearn for? Where in your body do you most readily listen?
What do you need to feel spiritually nourished by your creativity?
What feelings come up for you as you create? What are your creative fears? What would your inner creator say to soften or refute those fears? What helps you to feel brave? What kinds of experi- ences ground you? What experiences soothe you? What are you learning about creativity? What are you grateful for? How does your body feel right now? How does play help your vocation or ministry? Whom can you share with? What will you teach?
What feelings come up for you as you create? What are your creative fears? What would your inner creator say to soften or refute those fears? What helps you to feel brave? What kinds of experi- ences ground you? What experiences soothe you? What are you learning about creativity? What are you grateful for? How does your body feel right now? How does play help your vocation or ministry? Whom can you share with? What will you teach?
About the Author—John Andrew Gallery lives in Philadelphia, PA, joining Friends in 1990. Since then he has pursued a ministry of writing, which ap- peared in Friends Journal; he wrote Pendle Hill Pamphlet #358, Reflections from a Prayer Vigil for Peace (2001). This pamphlet is 9 of 22 reflections written while in self-isolation during the COVID-19 pandemic. Read the others in www.johnandrewgallery. com.
[For Summaries of 4 more reflections found on the website, See Sum- mary Editor's Appendix at the end of this summary].
Introduction—During COVID-19, I held "solitary meetings for worship." Instead of "delivering vocal ministry," I wrote reflections on my worship experience [like I did on my prayer vigil in my earlier pamphlet (PHP #358)]. Thoughts and feelings rose in solitary "meeting" differently than in worship with others. I stopped writing in October 2020 to listen more closely for God's next direction for my life to be revealed.
"Entering the Stream"—The only visible companion for today's "mee- ting" is the Buddha on the bookcase opposite me. Buddha is waiting for "no- thingness" while I am waiting for an inspiring spiritual message. In meeting for worship, a resonating message or an expected appearance tells me something I need to know. What might Buddha or Thoreau say in meeting?
"If one would reflect, let him embark on some placid stream, and float with the current," like a leaf on the surface of the water. Buddhism uses "entering the stream" concept to promote acceptance without judgment—to see things simply as they are and respond appropriately. My task is to be open to the messages brought to me, and be willing to be led without anxiety down paths I would not often choose. Floating, drifting confidently with the current of life, is the only way to God's peace & harmony.
"Easter Sunday"—I observed all Catholic Lent & Easter traditions growing up (e.g. giving up meat, Stations of the Cross); Easter itself never meant much to me. Good Friday meant the most to me, especially keeping silence from noon to 3. As an adult, Saturday was an empty space between 2 events. Faith isn't about who Jesus was, but whether you believe in & intend to follow his message. I think he believed we would find self-centeredness as one of our shortcomings; he suggests a profoundly simple & yet extremely difficult solution. In John's Gospel, I believe that to "lay down one's life" is to set aside the activities of your own life to help advance another along their journey. John believed that the example of serving the needs of others is Jesus' primary message, the real meaning of love. Stories of people helping each other during this crisis in acts of kindness and generosity catch my eye. Being checked up on & checking up on others have become a part of my life. There seems to be an understanding that we are all in this together & a subordination of personal interests. How will the current situation enable us to realize community and continue this approach to life together?
"Time and the River"—I have lost all sense of time, sometimes even what day of the week it is. During this crisis, time is is a continuous flow, unbroken, undifferentiated, like living in an endless present. Now, the stream I mentioned earlier seems more like a river, & I seem to be traveling in a canoe. Night & day no longer seem to cut up time into distinct segments. The things I pass by, even the notable ones don't seem worth the effort to remember; anticipation is more worth my time than contemplation.
On this "stretch of river," the river is wide & the current imperceptibly slow. I drift & more closely observe the world around me. This "river" eventually comes to the ocean as my life eventually comes to an end. The image of coming around the last bend in the long, sometimes arduous, sometimes peaceful river trip, & seeing the breathtaking, vast expanse of ocean before me fills me with awe & joy. I have a new perspective on the end of life, & look forward to its expansiveness & being absorbed into its fullness. God-energy keeps my life-river flowing & directs its course. I can feel the mystery & reality of its power & presence & that is enough.
On this "stretch of river," the river is wide & the current imperceptibly slow. I drift & more closely observe the world around me. This "river" eventually comes to the ocean as my life eventually comes to an end. The image of coming around the last bend in the long, sometimes arduous, sometimes peaceful river trip, & seeing the breathtaking, vast expanse of ocean before me fills me with awe & joy. I have a new perspective on the end of life, & look forward to its expansiveness & being absorbed into its fullness. God-energy keeps my life-river flowing & directs its course. I can feel the mystery & reality of its power & presence & that is enough.
"Sitting with Jesus"—I always envisioned in a conversation with Jesus that he would sit opposite me on the other side of the room. If I invited him to sit next to me, Where would Jesus like to sit? Where would I like him to sit? What is the difference between my relationship with Jesus and my relationship with God? Jesus could sit to my right as he led me and I followed; Jesus could sit on my left while I led and he played at least a suppor- ting role. I was neither entirely willing to follow, nor aware of how or where to lead.
What do I mean by being a "follower" of Jesus? How do I live the spiritually centered life in the Kingdom of God Jesus teaches about? Jesus gives relatively little practical advice; God has constantly given me gui- dance about what to do. How do I be prepared to surrender control over my life & follow where I am led? How do I behave as someone living in God's Kingdom? I will "be guided by love, treat everyone with equal respect, be kind & generous, & help others as much as you can; trust that God will take care of the rest."
"There is a Crack in Everything"—I held my meeting for worship on my building's roof; I could see the Art Museum's roof, a thin line of trees, & the vast, cloudless blue sky. At my worship's end, a small blue-gray bird landed on the roof. This bird had many sounds in what seemed to be an entire sentence in bird language. I realized it was saying, "Good morning John. Peace be with you today." Leonard Cohen's birds say, "Start again." Today is a new day, a new beginning for me to do a little better & inch closer to the person God calls me to be.
Also in the song "Anthem" Leonard Cohen sings: "Ring the bells that still can ring/ Forget your perfect offering/ There is a crack, a crack in everything/ That's how the light gets in." God puts in each of us something that we would call an imperfection or difficulty, which is also a gift which is intended to chal- lenge our self-love and teach us to love others. When I came out as gay to my friends, family & colleagues, the Light came through the crack, and my spiritual longing burst forth. Our crack is our individual path to wholeness if we are prepared to embrace and follow it.
"Siddhartha"—I discovered Herman Hesse in my 20s, & have re-read Siddhartha several times in the intervening years. Hesse's Siddhartha isn't the one who becomes the Buddha. This one meets the enlightened Buddha, & while finding him worthy of profound respect, doesn't follow him. Following someone else's beliefs, no matter how true, isn't being true to your own expe- rience. So Siddhartha moves on with his own personal search & reaches his own form of enlightenment and peace, and is able to love the world.
George Fox had a similar task: bring people to Christ and leave them there to find their own Christ-experience. How much of our accepted beliefs are other Friends' experiences that we don't actually follow? How often have we had our own Christ experience? How have I put on or not put on some other Friends "suit" of experience, because it fit fairly well, but not perfectly? How important is a solitary search, as opposed to being part of a spiritual community? Hindus have a tradition of burning a copy of the Vedas as a symbol of beginning a search for their own god to follow.
"Marcus Aurelius"—Many [spirit]-friends have come to join me in "soli- tary meetings: George Fox, Buddha, Jesus, Lao Tzu, Henry David Thoreau, Siddhartha, & Leonard Cohen, birds and trees. Marcus Aurelius visits today. Marcus' primary god among many gods is "Nature," what he calls "Reason."
His timeless &/ or Quaker-like quotes include:
"The spirit-god gave each of us to lead & guide, a fragment of himself."
"All things are woven together & the common bond is sacred, & scarcely
"Marcus Aurelius"—Many [spirit]-friends have come to join me in "soli- tary meetings: George Fox, Buddha, Jesus, Lao Tzu, Henry David Thoreau, Siddhartha, & Leonard Cohen, birds and trees. Marcus Aurelius visits today. Marcus' primary god among many gods is "Nature," what he calls "Reason."
His timeless &/ or Quaker-like quotes include:
"The spirit-god gave each of us to lead & guide, a fragment of himself."
"All things are woven together & the common bond is sacred, & scarcely
one thing is foreign to another."
"Be content with what happens to you. Welcome with affection what is
"Be content with what happens to you. Welcome with affection what is
sent by fate. It was for you it came to pass, for you it was ordered &
to you it was related. Whatever happens, happens rightly."
"Man lives only in the present, in this fleeting instant. All the rest of his
"Man lives only in the present, in this fleeting instant. All the rest of his
life is either past and gone, or not yet revealed."
"Trust without fear"; "Acceptance with gratitude."
"Trust without fear"; "Acceptance with gratitude."
Trust and acceptance are much harder to come by & wholeheartedly embrace in my 70's, which is why Marcus returns to beat those 2 words into my head & heart. He parts with saying: "What remains except to enjoy life, joining 1 good thing after another, so as to leave not even the smallest interval unfulfilled?"
"Eid al-Adha"—The celebration of Eid al Adha in Islam is the comme- moration of Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son to show faith in God; it is part of the Hajj; the story is found in both the Bible & the Qur'an. In the Qur'an, both the angel Gabriel and Satan appear to Abraham, with Satan appearing & being driven away 3 times. How do you know, discern that it is God speaking and not Satan? Often when we are led to do an apparent good, it is a lesser good than God would have us do, less than what we are capable of. In leadings, we are being invited to consider the possibility of doing something that it is initially often vague or unclear. The 1st test of a leading is persistence; if it is true, it won't go away; it will return, perhaps in a different form. The 2nd test is being asked to do some thing outside my normal comfort zone. The sense I most often have in follo- wing a leading is more like a surrender to the inevitable, something ap- proached with "fear & trembling, rather than a task undertaken eagerly, with confidence & joy. Quakers use the phrase "way opens" to describe how re- sources or assistance will come to help you in carrying out a true leading. Also, I am filled with a sense of peace & contentment that comes from surren- dering to the current that pulls us along through the leading.
Abraham's son has no direct relationship with God. When Abraham tells his son God has told Abraham to kill him, the son says that if it is God's will, then Abraham should do it. It seems to me that the test of faith is that of the the son, not the father. Faith is a voluntary surrender to what you believe but cannot know for certain is God's will; it is done in fear and trembling with no assurance as to the outcome.
"The Certainty of Faith"—I used to go to the Chapel of Divine Love before the pandemic. The other day I saw a man and a woman approach the convent door. I had the feeling that I was watching the man escort a woman, someone he cared deeply about, as she decided to join the convent. I had a feeling of awe that was still with me 4 days later. I visited the Trappist mona- stery in Spencer, MA as a young man. I was overwhelmed by the sense of serenity and peace that permeated the entire place and me; I longed to stay there and still do.
I feel this same longing whenever I see someone who makes a strong, wholehearted, & very public commitment to a spiritual life. Anyone letting a spiritual life be a dominant & visible influence on the rest of their life strikes a chord in my heart that confronts me with the reality that there is a certainty of faith that still eludes me. I've been standing knee-deep in the spiritual current's stream for a long time, feeling the current push against me. Something pre- vents me from taking the plunge & surrendering my life to a larger force beyond my control.
I feel this same longing whenever I see someone who makes a strong, wholehearted, & very public commitment to a spiritual life. Anyone letting a spiritual life be a dominant & visible influence on the rest of their life strikes a chord in my heart that confronts me with the reality that there is a certainty of faith that still eludes me. I've been standing knee-deep in the spiritual current's stream for a long time, feeling the current push against me. Something pre- vents me from taking the plunge & surrendering my life to a larger force beyond my control.
What I truly want is to be "not of the world, but in it," where spiritual life is the dominant context. The world is allowed to enter only in limited ways & on more limited terms. This does not require entering a monastery or convent; it does require a few like-minded individuals equally committed to a similar spiritual life, with whom you are engaged on almost a daily basis, providing mutual spiritual support. Certainty of faith & a supportive community is what I long for and have not yet found.
[Summary Editor's Appendix]:
"Holding in the Light [1 & 2]"—1. When I sit down for meeting for worship on 1st day morning, I visualize the meeting room and slowly look around. I silently say the name of each person as they come into view; I include familiar visitors & unknown persons representing less familiar visitors. Once I have them all assembled, I'll say, I'll hold you in the Light." I am asking God to be present with you & for you to feel Presence in whatever situation you find yourself in; that feeling God's presence will give you the courage & strength you need.
[Summary Editor's Appendix]:
"Holding in the Light [1 & 2]"—1. When I sit down for meeting for worship on 1st day morning, I visualize the meeting room and slowly look around. I silently say the name of each person as they come into view; I include familiar visitors & unknown persons representing less familiar visitors. Once I have them all assembled, I'll say, I'll hold you in the Light." I am asking God to be present with you & for you to feel Presence in whatever situation you find yourself in; that feeling God's presence will give you the courage & strength you need.
When I do this, I actually try to envision a bright light encompassing you, almost like an aura emanating from your body as if that Inner Light we believe is present in all of us has burst forth & now envelops you. I don't know what the best outcome for you is, and you may not know either; we both may have to surrender our desire to control the situation and accept whatever outcome God has in mind. We must each do our part as best we can and trust that God will take care of the rest.
2. [A half a year later], I hold an acquaintance from Chestnut Hill Friends Meeting in the light. I only knew him in a limited way, from meeting for worship and once a year when he displayed and discussed his artwork & occasionally helped organize the show; I also know he liked dancing. I find that this has produced thoughts about “holding in the Light' somewhat different from those I expressed back in March [in #1].
While I still hold that view, I see it somewhat differently today. How can I hold myself in the Light? What does that mean? In holding myself in the Light, I remind myself that there must be purpose, meaning and good in the experiences that come to me; all are gifts intended to help me along my spiri- tual journey. It's only our thinking, as Shakespeare reminds us, that makes them one or the other. Holding ourselves in the light is both to ask for God's presence and to be willing to accept the outcome no matter what that may be.
2. [A half a year later], I hold an acquaintance from Chestnut Hill Friends Meeting in the light. I only knew him in a limited way, from meeting for worship and once a year when he displayed and discussed his artwork & occasionally helped organize the show; I also know he liked dancing. I find that this has produced thoughts about “holding in the Light' somewhat different from those I expressed back in March [in #1].
While I still hold that view, I see it somewhat differently today. How can I hold myself in the Light? What does that mean? In holding myself in the Light, I remind myself that there must be purpose, meaning and good in the experiences that come to me; all are gifts intended to help me along my spiri- tual journey. It's only our thinking, as Shakespeare reminds us, that makes them one or the other. Holding ourselves in the light is both to ask for God's presence and to be willing to accept the outcome no matter what that may be.
When it comes to holding another in the Light, our task is to see the difficulty for what it is and not pretend otherwise. It is to feel, to the extent we can, the pain & suffering another is experiencing & acknowledge that. We can perhaps imagine it from some similar experience of our own or by imagining how we would feel in the same situation. Then, the Light we hold another in will be imbued with real power—the power that comes from confidence that God, God's goodness & Love is with us at all times. The power to accept all that life has to offer no matter how difficult it seems to our limited vision.
Dear friend, that is the Light I’m holding you in this morning.
"Alone with God"— This week during my solitary meeting for worship, my eyes were drawn to the bookcase on the right opposite where I sit, which contains books about many different spiritual paths—everything from Bud- dhism, Islam, & Quakers, to A Course in Miracles, Gurdjieff, Edgar Cayce, Native American wisdom, Swedenborg. As a Quaker, I started out on one alternate path and got reasonably far along; then I decided to explore another path. I did this frequently, trying another and another.
I'm only partway up the spiritual mountain, feeling confused and some- what lost. I wonder if picking one I’ll pick the wrong one; too many paths, too many choices. As I was staring at these books today, I realize most of these books & founders of spiritual traditions [e.g. Buddha; Jesus; Muhammad; George Fox] followed a similar path. Why did they go off alone into a natural environment away from the world of other people? When a young son was asked why he went off by himself into the woods every day, he said, "In the woods I am different.” Tao Te Ching says, "Let nature renew what men undo."
Dear friend, that is the Light I’m holding you in this morning.
"Alone with God"— This week during my solitary meeting for worship, my eyes were drawn to the bookcase on the right opposite where I sit, which contains books about many different spiritual paths—everything from Bud- dhism, Islam, & Quakers, to A Course in Miracles, Gurdjieff, Edgar Cayce, Native American wisdom, Swedenborg. As a Quaker, I started out on one alternate path and got reasonably far along; then I decided to explore another path. I did this frequently, trying another and another.
I'm only partway up the spiritual mountain, feeling confused and some- what lost. I wonder if picking one I’ll pick the wrong one; too many paths, too many choices. As I was staring at these books today, I realize most of these books & founders of spiritual traditions [e.g. Buddha; Jesus; Muhammad; George Fox] followed a similar path. Why did they go off alone into a natural environment away from the world of other people? When a young son was asked why he went off by himself into the woods every day, he said, "In the woods I am different.” Tao Te Ching says, "Let nature renew what men undo."
I feel more open and more connected to the divine reality behind crea- tion, as did Buddha, Jesus, Muhammad, Fox, and others; in that "solitude they heard more clearly the living word they brought with them." As to what they did while there, I can't say for sure. However, their teachings suggest that they turned inward to connect with that living word they brought with them.
For early Quakers, the idea of turning to the Inner Light seems to have been both a primary belief and a primary practice; it almost seems that it was the only thing early Friends believed in. Direct experience of the Inner Light
seems to have taken precedence even over the Bible. Turning to the Inner Light has not been a feature of my own spiritual practice. There seems to be a reliance on other people’s experiences that have been organized into a list of testimonies and a book of guidelines without having had the actual experien- ces ourselves. How has sitting silently alone these past few weeks been turning to the Inner Light?
"Healing Begins"—Healing begins when we take responsibility for our
part in the pain. I spoke those words in a meeting for worship focused on racial healing. What did 6 Black people need to hear from me? I concluded an apology was in order, & that idea opened the door for the spirit to put words in my mouth. "I know the pain of racial discrimination extends to my lifetime & to the present moment; ... I implicitly condoned it. I would like to apologize for myself & my society, white society, & all we have done to you & your ances- tors. I hope you will forgive us. For myself, I pledge I will do whatever I can to make sure it doesn't continue.”
My message was explicitly directed to the 6 Black people who sat in front of me & was intended to come from me personally to them personally & individually. I wasn't then, & I'm not now asking for forgiveness: that seems inappropriate & only to relieve my guilt. I can only apologize; if forgiveness is withheld until I truly earn it, that seems appropriate & just. White society owes a genuine, sincere, & explicit apology to all Black citizens. We may think with legislation & laws we have taken responsibility and apologized; in truth, we haven't.
We are the ones that need to initiate that healing; Black Lives Matter has invited us to do so. We need to apologize to Black people we know and meet. We need to know one another's hopes & dreams, the things we share in common so that we can truly see that we are all part of one human family with the same hopes & dreams for our lives & the lives of our children. There may also be a need for reparations or other solutions. But an apology is an essential place to begin.
My message was explicitly directed to the 6 Black people who sat in front of me & was intended to come from me personally to them personally & individually. I wasn't then, & I'm not now asking for forgiveness: that seems inappropriate & only to relieve my guilt. I can only apologize; if forgiveness is withheld until I truly earn it, that seems appropriate & just. White society owes a genuine, sincere, & explicit apology to all Black citizens. We may think with legislation & laws we have taken responsibility and apologized; in truth, we haven't.
We are the ones that need to initiate that healing; Black Lives Matter has invited us to do so. We need to apologize to Black people we know and meet. We need to know one another's hopes & dreams, the things we share in common so that we can truly see that we are all part of one human family with the same hopes & dreams for our lives & the lives of our children. There may also be a need for reparations or other solutions. But an apology is an essential place to begin.
Let us declare 2021 a Year of Reconciliation. Let each of our meetings reach out to a religious congregation in the Black community— one that is geographically and economically different—& offer an explicit apology for our own and our society’s actions. Then let us begin a sustained yearlong process of getting to know one another as people and seeing what solutions for future change God may inspire us to find together. At the end of a year, we can collectively come together to share results. Together we may be able not only to find a way to heal the pain but also a path toward a world in which all God's children will know only love and respect.
Postscript—Each of the essays I wrote were inspired by a specific influ-ence. While I thought of them as unrelated to one another, it became clear there was a "sub-text"—a message for my Self alone. I felt the desire to dive into the stream and let it carry me to the [Unknown], free of past beliefs and all I learned from others. Writing these reflection gave me the courage to make that leap &, strangely enough, to stop writing, waiting to see what I will disco- ver or what will discover me. I have an appreciation for the COVID-19 pande- mic, which sent me into self-isolation and created the opportunity & conditions that enabled me to hear God-within more clearly.
Postscript—Each of the essays I wrote were inspired by a specific influ-ence. While I thought of them as unrelated to one another, it became clear there was a "sub-text"—a message for my Self alone. I felt the desire to dive into the stream and let it carry me to the [Unknown], free of past beliefs and all I learned from others. Writing these reflection gave me the courage to make that leap &, strangely enough, to stop writing, waiting to see what I will disco- ver or what will discover me. I have an appreciation for the COVID-19 pande- mic, which sent me into self-isolation and created the opportunity & conditions that enabled me to hear God-within more clearly.
Queries—What spiritual metaphors have worked for you with your spiritual journey? What is your experience of trusting in the Divine & letting the Spirit or Jesus guide you or lead you? What has been the "crack," imperfection in your life, that has let the Light in and been a path to a deeper & richer life? How might a spiritual community support its member in finding the truth for themselves while maintaining cohesion? How do you test and develop your leadings? How do you not be tempted away from the greatest good you're capable of? What do you long for in your spiritual life? How do you aspire or not to surrender and certainty? What role does a community have in your leap of faith?
470. Friending Rosie on Death Row (by Judith Favor with Rosie Alfaro; 2021)
About the Authors—Judith Wright Favor is a listener, teacher, author, and great-grandmother. She accompanies others by witnessing to Spirit in person and vocational relationships, offering presence, spiritual insights, and practical resources. She lives in a multi-faith retirement community in Sou- thern CA. She writes creative nonfiction; A book-length version of this pam- phlet is forthcoming. Mario del Rosio Alfaro is calligrapher, artist, mother, & grandmother. She has lived behind bars since she was 18.
[Introduction]—This is the story of a 20-year friendship between Rosie and Judith, which spans geography, age, race, religion, education, language, & the criminal justice system. Rosio was born to Mexican Catholic immigrants in CA; she was locked up for murder at the age of 18. Judith was born to wor- king-class white parents in OR. This story focuses on "the Mercy" at work in a contemplative activist & an artistic prisoner brought together by Love.
It took Judith too long to appreciate Rosie's gifts & the worth she offered family, fellow-Death Row inmates, & Judith in Central CA Women's Facility. This story exemplifies Friending. Friendship helped me to listen, bridge cultural and economic differences, and to realize and practice carrying heart-feelings, with their transformative power. Friending heals hearts and raced-based political and economic inequities. This pamphlet is a shared testi- mony to the power of love strong enough to cross legal barriers and prison walls.
Testimony—5 or 6 years after our 1st meeting, Rosie shared the awful truth of what she saw and heard and felt on June 15th, 1990. I became an empathetic participant; I held my friend in Light. Rosie said, "I felt so afraid ... so ashamed, so wrong." [Author defines testimony.] Rosie's truthful words & my supportive stillness gave testimony to the redemptive power of Friending Testimonies dominated her life and led to her conviction and death sentence in the murder of Autumn Wallace. Testimonies undergird my formation as a convinced Friend.
Yearning to experience God's presence brought me to a Friends Meeting at age 58. Later that year I began friending Rosie. Through Friendly eyes I saw the worth of Rosie's soul, and moved out of my comfort zone to meet her where she is. What does Love require of me right now? Friending Rosie was a true leading. I make my spiritual home among Quakers who respect "that of God" in all sorts of people, and who contribute to a living testimony in which thoughts, words and deeds may become unified.
Unlikely Friends—Rosie was a cradle Catholic; I was raised Protes- tant & became a convinced Quaker. I experienced unity with nature, but not [spiritual] with a human community until immersed in a "gathered" meeting for worship for the first time at the age of 60; it took 10 years to find the lan- guage to describe a gathered meeting. I learned about prison reformer Eliza- beth Fry. Her work & witness inspired me to reach out to a stranger.
Rosie & I want to help our grandkids—& you & yours—move respect- fully into risky forms of life-changing Friending. What makes people commit impulsive acts of violence? How can one awful choice disrupt so many lives? How can we mend past mistakes? Where is love in all this? In 2019, the CA governor put a moratorium on executions; Rosie remains on Death Row. [When dialog is used Rosie's is in italics]
Rosie wrote for the 1st time on 11/5/2000, after 9 years on "d. row ... I must continue to keep going till my time comes". To pass the time she "finds something to and I keep doing it. She looks forward to meeting face to face. "I see and hear from my oldest son, Danny often; [I have 4 sons, the youngest being twins at 10]. I get pictures and letters so I'm very happy with that ... [July 2001]: Drugs, they're everywhere in here ... I had to lock myself in my room so I wouldn't be tempted ... I kept a mouse in a wastebasket until he escaped. I guess he's still in [my locker] nibbling food."
Curious questions—I stayed with a Friend from Palo Alto for a short time while homeless; she posted monthly queries on the fridge with magnets. I pondered them over breakfast and long after. Rosie asks countless questions, including very practical ones when she found out I was getting divorced. Other questions included: What one thing did you do that you found the most exciting? What does snow feel and taste like? Will you tell me your testimony on how you became a Reverend and the story of your salmon tattoo [at age 73]? What do you think about the death penalty this year? I prefer to stay neutral. If you could bring back someone from your past life, who would it be? Me, it would of course be my grandpa.
"How do we listen to and stay in conversation with that is beyond our awareness? [Mark Nepo]
Hard Questions—It was 19 years before I was brave enough to ask Rosie about the shadowed underside of her story. What was it like to be Rosie on the day your whole life was ripped out from under you? [Were you terrified your 1st time in jail? How did you approach prayer? How did you act in court?
I was arrested near the apartment where I was born. My life began ... & ended there. I was kind of scare in county jail [until]... I was told I was pregnant with twins. I never really prayed in county jail. I never agreed much with [the Catholic religion] ... I put no label on my beliefs. I never got crazy in court ... Me & my attorney didn't get along. [He] made me wear [little girl] flowered dresses & shoes with big bows. [One dress I refused to wear] ... The judge ordered that a blazer be given to me to put over my jumpsuit.
How did you imagine making the best of [maximum security pri- son]? What was your hardest struggle getting along with tough women here? Who made your life miserable and brought out the worst in you? I deal with whatever happens, with whatever high or low wave hits me I do wrong, I do my time. I read a lot; I think of my family ...that's my strength ... my backbone & power. I don't take crap from no one. I've had many fights whether for good or bad reason ... I used to fight my father when he'd hit on my Mom & me. [I remember what he did to her sexually. He left when I was 15 when he found out I was] pregnant. I do not ... blame him for my screwed up life ... I chose my own ways, the wrong friends & the wrong life ... I think about and dream about [the murder] every night. It haunts me and always will.
Weeping—Margaret Fell described her 1st encounter with George Fox [and the resulting tears]: "George Fox asked me, 'What thou speakest, is it inwardly from God?' ... it cut me to the heart ... I sat down ... and cried bitterly [&] cried in Spirit to the Lord: ... We are thieves ...We have taken the Scripture in words and know nothing of them in ourselves.
I know how she felt; tears rose during my 1st meeting for worship. I had recently retired from parish ministry in a San Francisco United Church of Christ. In meeting for worship I was free from responsibility. I relaxed & my heart rejoiced. Where did the tears come from? I need great security to come to God in silence, & Friends give me security. My spiritual guide asked: "Where is God in your tears? Unbidden tears rose whenever I stayed still in the Light long enough to be touched by Love. We named them tears of truth; I accept the tears as sacred. Walter Brueggemann writes: "Tears belong to the lament ... the lament is our most vigorous form of prayer ... an expression of truth that sets things in motion. Soul-awakening is sparked by truth-telling tears."
I know how she felt; tears rose during my 1st meeting for worship. I had recently retired from parish ministry in a San Francisco United Church of Christ. In meeting for worship I was free from responsibility. I relaxed & my heart rejoiced. Where did the tears come from? I need great security to come to God in silence, & Friends give me security. My spiritual guide asked: "Where is God in your tears? Unbidden tears rose whenever I stayed still in the Light long enough to be touched by Love. We named them tears of truth; I accept the tears as sacred. Walter Brueggemann writes: "Tears belong to the lament ... the lament is our most vigorous form of prayer ... an expression of truth that sets things in motion. Soul-awakening is sparked by truth-telling tears."
Rosie writes: ... I cry things out a lot at night on my pillow just to get it out, all my anger & frustration. At time it feels good to do so. I've learned ... to do that ... well. [She thanks Judith the author profusely.] Why does weeping make us feel better? The U. of MN identified Leucine-enkephalin in emo- tional and spiritual tears. It cleanses the body of substances accumulated under stress. It is the most human and universal of relief measures.
Friending—I began Friending decades before I discovered Quakers. I invented the word to describe what I did with my time. I learn from my self- effacing, [deep-listening] mother. I now use Friending as a shorthand term for nurturing interpersonal relationship across societal divides. It amends racist, sexist, judgmental attitudes and opens possibilities for life-changing connection. What makes me a true Friend? Early on, I accepted her appreciation as my due, because of my beneficence; Rosie was more appreciative than I was.
Appreciative, respectful Friending lubricated my change of heart. Frien- ding helped me shed stereotypes about incarcerated persons. Dr. Linda Tropp writes: "The more contact we have, the less anxious we feel about being with people different from us, the more we can empathize with ... what they are going through." True Friending is a matter of the heart. What does God require from those whose spirituality involves developing relationship in adversity? Love required Rosie and I to face shame, tell our faults truth and offer forgiveness.
En Christo—A vision startled me awake; I saw the words en Christo, & heard, WRITE ABOUT FRIENDING ROSIE. I said, "Not me ... Ask someone who isn't fractured." Through a friend's counsel I was eased, but it still took me a while to find the gumption to say yes to the Sacred Presence. Rosie objected angrily to co-writing a book with me. I withdrew the book proposal but not my goodwill. I assured Rosie she would determine which stories we tell and which we keep private.
Respect is the underlying bone structure of testimonies by Friends; it goes far beyond politeness. Friends are meant to employ it at all times with all people. [When I see the oppressive, demeaning atmosphere in maximum security, I see that] disrespect is an equal opportunity detractor. Attitudes of superiority and inferiority infect the atmosphere, because racism and punish- ment are embedded in our nation's prison system. Respect, however shines between the lines in countless letters from a woman who once committed a violent act and will spend the rest of her days and nights in disrespectful cus- tody. I treat her kindly & do what I can to ease the pain imposed by systemic disrespect. This is one way to live en Christo.
Appreciative, respectful Friending lubricated my change of heart. Frien- ding helped me shed stereotypes about incarcerated persons. Dr. Linda Tropp writes: "The more contact we have, the less anxious we feel about being with people different from us, the more we can empathize with ... what they are going through." True Friending is a matter of the heart. What does God require from those whose spirituality involves developing relationship in adversity? Love required Rosie and I to face shame, tell our faults truth and offer forgiveness.
En Christo—A vision startled me awake; I saw the words en Christo, & heard, WRITE ABOUT FRIENDING ROSIE. I said, "Not me ... Ask someone who isn't fractured." Through a friend's counsel I was eased, but it still took me a while to find the gumption to say yes to the Sacred Presence. Rosie objected angrily to co-writing a book with me. I withdrew the book proposal but not my goodwill. I assured Rosie she would determine which stories we tell and which we keep private.
Respect is the underlying bone structure of testimonies by Friends; it goes far beyond politeness. Friends are meant to employ it at all times with all people. [When I see the oppressive, demeaning atmosphere in maximum security, I see that] disrespect is an equal opportunity detractor. Attitudes of superiority and inferiority infect the atmosphere, because racism and punish- ment are embedded in our nation's prison system. Respect, however shines between the lines in countless letters from a woman who once committed a violent act and will spend the rest of her days and nights in disrespectful cus- tody. I treat her kindly & do what I can to ease the pain imposed by systemic disrespect. This is one way to live en Christo.
Listening—I learned to listen from my mother, & practiced listening in the family I started, as a counselor, pastor, & spiritual companion. Listening is critical in transcending the barrier of a lonely space in solitary confinement on society' edge. Rosie writes: I am charged with Battery on an Inmate w/Injury ... I got her more than she got me, so yes, I am guilty [& may get 7 to 9 months in "Special Housing Unit" (solitary confinement). All my personal property was taken away ... the only book they left me was the Bible ... It could always be worse ... I did this to my self and there's nothing to deny. For now I need to find my self and get my head together.
I decided to just let her stew in her cell. Michael Birkel's "Listen" came to my attention: "... When a writer is using as much self-honesty as can be gathered, I am enriched—even if, ultimately, we do not agree with one another ... I seek to engage a text from another tradition with integrity, without projecting my values on it." I had to admit to projecting my values on Rosie's letter, & sit in receptive stillness for quite a while before I could hear the clear voice of Mercy [and compassion].
Waiting—Prisoners & Quakers have one thing in common: waiting. [I am waiting] at worship for God to appear & change me through the mystery of metanoia, a transformative change of heart. Rosie & I have experienced many such changes of heart in our 20-year friendship. Prison-waiting & Quaker- waiting are opposite ends of the physical-emotional spectrum. Prison is rough with conflict; meeting for worship is calm & peaceful. Systemic disrespect hardens hearts; waiting worship soften hearts, so that Friends can respond to that of God in all.
Rosie's day starts at 4:45 am. Inmates greet one another; supply trucks and inmate buses come to a building nearby. At 6:10 am, there is breakfast, after which the "loudmouths" start arguing with and cussing at one another. At 7:10 on 9/2/19, there won't be the usual program on the row at the usual 7:30 time or any time soon. We've been pepper-sprayed. The smell of pepper spray is everywhere, clings to hair and skin, makes you cough, and causes over- whelming pain in any cuts. She has been pepper-sprayed many, many times. At 8:20 am there was still no program. She had to wait until clean-up and incident reports were done. The 2 fighters were shouting back and forth at one another for hours. She calls her row a "fricken mental museum." She takes a nap.
Waiting—Prisoners & Quakers have one thing in common: waiting. [I am waiting] at worship for God to appear & change me through the mystery of metanoia, a transformative change of heart. Rosie & I have experienced many such changes of heart in our 20-year friendship. Prison-waiting & Quaker- waiting are opposite ends of the physical-emotional spectrum. Prison is rough with conflict; meeting for worship is calm & peaceful. Systemic disrespect hardens hearts; waiting worship soften hearts, so that Friends can respond to that of God in all.
Rosie's day starts at 4:45 am. Inmates greet one another; supply trucks and inmate buses come to a building nearby. At 6:10 am, there is breakfast, after which the "loudmouths" start arguing with and cussing at one another. At 7:10 on 9/2/19, there won't be the usual program on the row at the usual 7:30 time or any time soon. We've been pepper-sprayed. The smell of pepper spray is everywhere, clings to hair and skin, makes you cough, and causes over- whelming pain in any cuts. She has been pepper-sprayed many, many times. At 8:20 am there was still no program. She had to wait until clean-up and incident reports were done. The 2 fighters were shouting back and forth at one another for hours. She calls her row a "fricken mental museum." She takes a nap.
12:15 pm: Rosie oversleeps, but it doesn't matter, because there is still no program. She cleans her cell twice a day & dusts every other day. She craves & eats her dirt, after cleaning out rocks, grass, bugs & other foreign objects. The alarm goes off again, this time for a medical emergency, some woman having a seizure. 2:00 pm is shift change & women start taking sho- wers, one of the few times they are let out of their cells. 3:25 pm, there is another alarm, a fight in the rec yard. Guards use wooden bullets to break it up & the inmates pay for them. Showers are stopped, so many won't get sho- wers today. 4:30 pm is supper time & lockdown for 4:30 inmate count. 7:40: Rosie has a headache, and is ready to "make a cup of coffee, watch a good movie and tune everyone out!"
Envisioning Mercy—I sense Rosie's and each Death Row woman's suffering and hold them in sunlight, moonlight, and rainbow prism light. Some- thing true and precious abides in each of the 22 convicted women sitting in a circle with me. In the circle, how would they notice a "feeling of light" or a "sense of love" rising among them? How would they be affected by corporately seeking guidance from a power greater than themselves? How would conditions change if they spoke loving truth to one another? When I give the Inner Guide a voice of its own, it meets me more than ½-way. How can I express Inner Guide and guidance? I draw and color an abstract version of the 22 women in a circle. It feels like a benediction.
Envisioning Mercy—I sense Rosie's and each Death Row woman's suffering and hold them in sunlight, moonlight, and rainbow prism light. Some- thing true and precious abides in each of the 22 convicted women sitting in a circle with me. In the circle, how would they notice a "feeling of light" or a "sense of love" rising among them? How would they be affected by corporately seeking guidance from a power greater than themselves? How would conditions change if they spoke loving truth to one another? When I give the Inner Guide a voice of its own, it meets me more than ½-way. How can I express Inner Guide and guidance? I draw and color an abstract version of the 22 women in a circle. It feels like a benediction.
Coronavirus Behind Bars—What did you find yourself thinking and feeling during the long hours at home during the Coronavirus? The average person had complaints of: short fuses, emotional outbursts, memory problems, fractured peace, despair and depression; free citizens felt confused, ashamed and exhausted. Primal body responses of free persons now cooped up echo the daily mind-body experiences of those in prison. When threatened, the human body's neurotransmitters & hormones surge into "flight or fight" mode. The corona-virus threat will ease for free people.
Death & danger never cease for Death Row prisoners. Rosie & her com panions rarely get to "rest & digest." The entire prison system is stressed. Incarcerated persons' nervous systems are always in overdrive; solitary con- finement is the only "respite." Rosie finds it restful to be locked up alone. Rosie has banished "death" from her vocabulary as a survival tactic. Friends can convey care, respect, and empathy, and tend the hearts, minds, & souls of incarcerated persons. We can ease stressors for brief moments. What might we learn from befriending incarcerated persons? What might they learn from us?
Death & danger never cease for Death Row prisoners. Rosie & her com panions rarely get to "rest & digest." The entire prison system is stressed. Incarcerated persons' nervous systems are always in overdrive; solitary con- finement is the only "respite." Rosie finds it restful to be locked up alone. Rosie has banished "death" from her vocabulary as a survival tactic. Friends can convey care, respect, and empathy, and tend the hearts, minds, & souls of incarcerated persons. We can ease stressors for brief moments. What might we learn from befriending incarcerated persons? What might they learn from us?
Rosie's Serenity Prayer—God grant me forgiveness for committing murder ... strength to one day forgive myself before I go insane or die ... And the wisdom ... to realize and accept that I am and can be a better woman ... Amen. I love you Judy.
Queries—What truth or new light did you find in reading this pamphlet? How does your life testify to divine guidance or the Light's power? What leading have you had that changed you profoundly? How is Friending part of your life? How might Friending be part of Quaker efforts to create global peace with justice? What do you feel led to do with Friending?
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471. Living Fellowship Needs Fresh Forms (by Daphne Clement; 2021)
Queries—What truth or new light did you find in reading this pamphlet? How does your life testify to divine guidance or the Light's power? What leading have you had that changed you profoundly? How is Friending part of your life? How might Friending be part of Quaker efforts to create global peace with justice? What do you feel led to do with Friending?
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471. Living Fellowship Needs Fresh Forms (by Daphne Clement; 2021)
About the Author—Daphne Clement, doctor of ministry & board certi- fied chaplain, is a member of Durham (ME) Meeting; she served as minister there (2011-2013). At Atlanta Friends Meeting, she founded a Spiritual Nur- ture Group and wrote PHP #373, Group Spiritual Nurture (GSN): The Wis- dom of Spiritual Listening (by Daphne Clement; 2004). During Covid-19 she worshiped daily in a waiting worship group on Zoom, started at Allen's Neck Friends’ Meeting, South Dartmouth (MA), 7:50-9:00am (EST). The lockdown became a life-sustaining spiritual retreat.
Truth cannot possibly be found in the conversation’s conclusion; … conclusions keep changing … We must find a way to live in the continuing conversation ... while [being guided by] our own inner teachers. Parker Palmer
William Braithwaite writes that a living faith born of continuing revelation always precedes organized institutions, and: “Organization is a good servant but a bad master … the Church must remain free to mold organization into fresh forms demanded by its own growth and changing … times. [Without freedom], the Church … and its service … becomes dwarfed or paralyzed.
The COVID-19 pandemic changed every-day conclusions about what’s important in daily life. The daily Zoom meeting [mentioned in the About the Author section] opened a path toward “living in Truth,” the continual conversa- tion with Spirit, and being in touch with our inner teacher. While change like this can offer freedom, the loss of familiar, long-held tradition can be deeply disturbing.
William Braithwaite writes that a living faith born of continuing revelation always precedes organized institutions, and: “Organization is a good servant but a bad master … the Church must remain free to mold organization into fresh forms demanded by its own growth and changing … times. [Without freedom], the Church … and its service … becomes dwarfed or paralyzed.
The COVID-19 pandemic changed every-day conclusions about what’s important in daily life. The daily Zoom meeting [mentioned in the About the Author section] opened a path toward “living in Truth,” the continual conversa- tion with Spirit, and being in touch with our inner teacher. While change like this can offer freedom, the loss of familiar, long-held tradition can be deeply disturbing.
I found a story about the “the New Lights” Friends of New Bedford; it illustrates the tension between tradition's authority and stability and continuing revelation’s freedom and change. Some rely on the Bible as guide; some rely on their inner guide and continuing revelation. I use the Greek myth of Nar- cissus to teach about how a community “living in Truth” can minister to those preoccupied with image instead of substance. Estrangement from essence deepens isolation & increases distances in all relationships. How can we heal the many divisions among us? How can we create commu- nities that love one another? How can we learn to nurture Spirit, really care for each other, and build a wide and meaningful community in our country & the world?
A Fresh Form: Daily Worship on Zoom—The COVID lockdown changed everything, requiring us to turn inward. Allen’s Neck Meeting began a morning waiting worship on Zoom, 6 days a week. Eventually we met from 7:50 to 9:00 am; as many as 17 gathered, with 2 from the UK. How does this morning worship affect your day? There has been many very satisfying gatherings of all sorts through Zoom. We feel gathered and “fathoms deep” in our Zoom waiting worship.
On Zoom, it is the people who are the meetinghouse, & they take real spiritual sustenance from this morning worship. Daily worship opens one to listening and learning from the inner voice, and helps one stay in worship through the day.” One is more able to accept the world as it is. Our worship together has been the living fellowship & the organization we need to sustain practice.
On Zoom, it is the people who are the meetinghouse, & they take real spiritual sustenance from this morning worship. Daily worship opens one to listening and learning from the inner voice, and helps one stay in worship through the day.” One is more able to accept the world as it is. Our worship together has been the living fellowship & the organization we need to sustain practice.
What “rules” do we tend to abide by in the group? We have no introductions, no announcements, & no coffee hour. We seem to lean toward each other in Spirit & get close in a deeper, truer way. Our Zoom community formed around worship and practice; There is often little or no vocal ministry. Friends have carried health concerns into worship, and have “held each other up with a tender hand.” Towards worship's end we become more sensitive to each other, our souls are no longer shy, and distances between us are bridged; we hesitate to close and often go past 9. We have “bubbling ministry from a 1 ½-year old.” Zoom worship has restored community, and made us all more hopeful.
Queries—What will become of online worship when the world returns to normal? How can a Beloved [Zoom] Community, created in crisis, be sustained when things change? How will technology shape our communities going forward? What are the future possibilities for this sort of community among Friends? How might small groups of spiritually alive people make a difference in the world?
Tradition and Continuing Revelation—More than many faith groups, the Friend's society has the freedom and capacity to adapt to change. This may may still cause stress & division within the meeting community. [There are drawbacks to blindly clinging to tradition in the midst of change, and to mista- kenly seeing continuing revelation in, for example a misguided, literal “imita- tion of Christ” [i.e. James Nayler’s ride into Bristol]]. It seems that meeting communities must balance, must hold in tension that which conserves tra- dition and that which liberates and wants to do new things. [Failure of larger groups of Friends to embrace this tension, has led to division into more and smaller groups of Friends].
Tradition and Continuing Revelation—More than many faith groups, the Friend's society has the freedom and capacity to adapt to change. This may may still cause stress & division within the meeting community. [There are drawbacks to blindly clinging to tradition in the midst of change, and to mista- kenly seeing continuing revelation in, for example a misguided, literal “imita- tion of Christ” [i.e. James Nayler’s ride into Bristol]]. It seems that meeting communities must balance, must hold in tension that which conserves tra- dition and that which liberates and wants to do new things. [Failure of larger groups of Friends to embrace this tension, has led to division into more and smaller groups of Friends].
The New Light Movement of New Bedford (1820’s)—When my family moved to New Bedford, my attention turned to New Bedford’s abolitionists, early Friends, and the New Light Movement. In the 1820’s, fresh forms were seeking an outlet in Quaker communities. The “Old Lights” & tradition resisted and constrained. Old Light practices included: strict pacifism; plain speech and dress; no music, dance, or amusements; strict reliance on the Bible; belief in the Devil.
The New Light Movement began with the ministry of Mary Newhall of Lynn, MA. The New Light, the Light within was the inner guide & teacher, the Living Christ’s Light & was to be relied on in all things. The Bible was allegory, metaphor, & not to be taken literally; “heaven & hell weren’t [places] ... but states of mind to be experienced …” Newhall’s “... heresy was denial of Jesus Christ’s full divinity & the efficacy of his atonement.” Much of the “history” available on any divisive subject is distilled into the “winning side’s” viewpoint. Little can be learned about the opposing view.
The New Light Movement began with the ministry of Mary Newhall of Lynn, MA. The New Light, the Light within was the inner guide & teacher, the Living Christ’s Light & was to be relied on in all things. The Bible was allegory, metaphor, & not to be taken literally; “heaven & hell weren’t [places] ... but states of mind to be experienced …” Newhall’s “... heresy was denial of Jesus Christ’s full divinity & the efficacy of his atonement.” Much of the “history” available on any divisive subject is distilled into the “winning side’s” viewpoint. Little can be learned about the opposing view.
[The one-sided description] of New Bedford’s New Light Movement was of hysterical, disruptive, disorderly meetings and “frequenting places of public amusement." Mary Rotch and Elizabeth Rodman, central figures in the New Light Movement, were seated on the meeting elders' high bench until they were written out of meeting along with many others. The Old Lights of New Bedford Meeting "dissolved" rather than resolved the divisions in their meeting. New Lights attempted to meet outside of meeting, but without structure, discipline, authority and places of worship, the Movement could not long be sustained. New England New Lights aligned with Elias Hicks in the Hicksite & Orthodox divisions of 1824-26. One attended Unitarian church and became friends with Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Continuing revelation can’t always be maintained; the Spirit’s movement can feel disruptive. We need institutions, yet institutions often have difficulty responding faithfully to the Spirit’s leadings. Both Old & New Lights may have glimpses of the same truth. Surely Old Lights hoped to continue dwelling together in God, while the New Lights’ prophetic burst hoped to bring into the Society of Friends a sort of resurrection and freshening of the community's spiritual life. Finding the tradition-continuing revelation balance can require more Light than many of us have the capacity to allow. We must seek to understand and love each other as we do ourselves.
Continuing revelation can’t always be maintained; the Spirit’s movement can feel disruptive. We need institutions, yet institutions often have difficulty responding faithfully to the Spirit’s leadings. Both Old & New Lights may have glimpses of the same truth. Surely Old Lights hoped to continue dwelling together in God, while the New Lights’ prophetic burst hoped to bring into the Society of Friends a sort of resurrection and freshening of the community's spiritual life. Finding the tradition-continuing revelation balance can require more Light than many of us have the capacity to allow. We must seek to understand and love each other as we do ourselves.
Queries—Why is living in witness to the Light, the Living Christ's Light, so difficult? Why were New Lights unable to sustain cohesive community? What were the Old Lights afraid of? What is the right degree of discipline, & who is responsible for it? How can we balance tradition and continuing revelation in our meetings and institutions? What is keeping the Society of Friends divided? How can we better understand ourselves and each other? How can we grow together through conflict instead of splintering?
The Bible & Continuing Revelation—Different biblical interpretations & emphases continue to be a real cause of division among Friends. Some find history and metaphor for the spiritual life; some find continuing revelation right there in those pages; some rarely or never read the Bible at all. There are different messages in Bible [e.g. “I will do a new thing” (Isaiah 43: 19)” or Ezekiel’s vision of God separating the sheep (saved faithful) from the goats (unsaved unfaithful)]. How one reads the Bible colors ones views of who we are as a people; for many it is deeply & spiritually formative. Michael Birkel is a Christian Spirituality professor. He is impressed with how Hebrew writers did not seek to whitewash the text, while many of us strive to be good by denying much that is in our human nature.
The Bible & Continuing Revelation—Different biblical interpretations & emphases continue to be a real cause of division among Friends. Some find history and metaphor for the spiritual life; some find continuing revelation right there in those pages; some rarely or never read the Bible at all. There are different messages in Bible [e.g. “I will do a new thing” (Isaiah 43: 19)” or Ezekiel’s vision of God separating the sheep (saved faithful) from the goats (unsaved unfaithful)]. How one reads the Bible colors ones views of who we are as a people; for many it is deeply & spiritually formative. Michael Birkel is a Christian Spirituality professor. He is impressed with how Hebrew writers did not seek to whitewash the text, while many of us strive to be good by denying much that is in our human nature.
Throughout Quaker history, there have been prophetic burst of Spirit. Friends will often be understood to be “continuing revelation” & be led toward new ways of understanding and acting on the needs of the time [e.g. abolition, women’s rights; testimonies against war; founding American Friends Service Committee]. We need to hold up the prophetic bursts of continuing revelation into the Light of our inward teacher and to test them in community, [to see how much is personal will, & how much is true leading. Today we place the human will first with God responding to us, when originally God’s will was the “action of God’s Love in the [waiting, responding] human heart.” We may hope that the fruits of our faith could produce within the Society of Friends a true appreciation of an “us” & “them,” rather than an “us or them” viewpoint.
What Divides Us?—There is considerable confusion between personal image and real essence. The division between soul and identity begins early in childhood and continues as vocational identities are formed. This division suggests that it is within ourselves we become divided. Living a divided Life, living apart from consistent awareness of the divine Light, leaves individuals feeling deeply alone. It can be difficult for the divided self to bear with different customs, cultures, races, and religions. We look outside the Self for sameness. “You can safely assume that you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.” This dividedness in our culture today appears as a longing for even greater individual freedom.
Queries—Why have people and cultures tended to defend against all differences? How can we heal the divisions among us, especially the divisions that refuse to welcome the “other,” and God’s creative diversity? How do we avoid “outrunning the Guide,” or being too at- tached to a personal point of view to be available to understand others?
What Divides Us?—There is considerable confusion between personal image and real essence. The division between soul and identity begins early in childhood and continues as vocational identities are formed. This division suggests that it is within ourselves we become divided. Living a divided Life, living apart from consistent awareness of the divine Light, leaves individuals feeling deeply alone. It can be difficult for the divided self to bear with different customs, cultures, races, and religions. We look outside the Self for sameness. “You can safely assume that you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.” This dividedness in our culture today appears as a longing for even greater individual freedom.
Queries—Why have people and cultures tended to defend against all differences? How can we heal the divisions among us, especially the divisions that refuse to welcome the “other,” and God’s creative diversity? How do we avoid “outrunning the Guide,” or being too at- tached to a personal point of view to be available to understand others?
Identity and Loneliness as the Source of Division: The Narcissus Story Retold—Narcissus' myth reveals the root of the narcissistic condition. This term comes from the Greek word meaning “numb-ness,” or “torpor.” Today this myth might describe the shy-soul numbness that Park Palmer suggests many people are now experiencing. [When Narcissus spurned the love of Echo, a nymph, Nemesis caused him to fall in love with his own reflection. Unable to grasp this image, Narcissus pined away and became a flower].
Narcissus sat by the pool, a safe place for inner reflection; the pool can be a symbol of the human soul, the depth of life, and the living water. He misjudges the pool’s depth, & becomes fascinated with his own image on the pool’s surface. What might Narcissus’ experience have been had he been sitting at the pool’s edge regularly with a community of wise & weighty Friends? In community, he might have had a more authentic & deeper expe- rience of himself. I seek to emphasize Narcissus’ isolation, loneliness, numb- ness and torpor. [He settled for reflecting on his outer image and substance, rather than his inner teacher and essence.
The community's task is to recognize the living water’s depth without identifying with surface images, or clinging to familiar images and tradition, thereby narrowly excluding any new images, as the “Old Lights” of New Bedford did. In morning waiting worship during the pandemic, the shared presence we experience we share is beyond personal, individual and image; it is essential communion. It’s through image that we begin to express ourselves. The opportunity of going deeper has the potential of healing the many divisions both within the self and in the world.
Holding in the Light without Agenda/ A Hidden Wholeness (Resurrection) Every Day—How can we meet each other, soul to soul, when we can’t keep from having an agenda of our own for change? We can hold each other in the Light, so that they will be more attuned to God’s will & grace. What is needed is that same opening into the Light which Zoom morning worship Friends have come to experience. Hold all differences and agendas for change in the Light, first; then, follow its guidance. “The Light is with us always & everywhere.”
There is indeed a “hidden wholeness” here on earth. We have not understood the glory of all God’s creation or this wholeness, connectedness. In stead of spending the spring of 2020 in a Pendle Hill course, an inquiry in to the differences between Eastern Orthodox and Western Christianity’s understanding of resurrection, I spent the year with experiential learning instead; daily worship has been my teacher.
The community's task is to recognize the living water’s depth without identifying with surface images, or clinging to familiar images and tradition, thereby narrowly excluding any new images, as the “Old Lights” of New Bedford did. In morning waiting worship during the pandemic, the shared presence we experience we share is beyond personal, individual and image; it is essential communion. It’s through image that we begin to express ourselves. The opportunity of going deeper has the potential of healing the many divisions both within the self and in the world.
Holding in the Light without Agenda/ A Hidden Wholeness (Resurrection) Every Day—How can we meet each other, soul to soul, when we can’t keep from having an agenda of our own for change? We can hold each other in the Light, so that they will be more attuned to God’s will & grace. What is needed is that same opening into the Light which Zoom morning worship Friends have come to experience. Hold all differences and agendas for change in the Light, first; then, follow its guidance. “The Light is with us always & everywhere.”
There is indeed a “hidden wholeness” here on earth. We have not understood the glory of all God’s creation or this wholeness, connectedness. In stead of spending the spring of 2020 in a Pendle Hill course, an inquiry in to the differences between Eastern Orthodox and Western Christianity’s understanding of resurrection, I spent the year with experiential learning instead; daily worship has been my teacher.
The experience of Zoom worship has been described as: “It’s like a beach on an island. Sitting to worship, I begin the day with grace. I have more capacity to accept [the difficult] ‘what is.’ I get to this beach on this island, and my life is grounded there.” How will our everyday Zoom worship endure [after the pandemic]? Because “fresh forms are demanded by the Church’s growth and the changing needs of the time,” other forms may come to be. We will just have to wait and see.
the Secular (By Selden W. Smith; 2021)
About the Author/ Editor's Preface—Selden W. Smith was raised in
the State College Friends Meeting in PA. He has had jobs with American Friends Service Committee, management consulting, & academic fund-raising. He attended Quaker school, Chestnut Hill Friends and served on Philadelphia YM Faith & Practice Revision Committee. In retirement, he has a broad range of hobbies, including writing, volunteering, and singing.
the State College Friends Meeting in PA. He has had jobs with American Friends Service Committee, management consulting, & academic fund-raising. He attended Quaker school, Chestnut Hill Friends and served on Philadelphia YM Faith & Practice Revision Committee. In retirement, he has a broad range of hobbies, including writing, volunteering, and singing.
How can there be a non-theist theology? PH Pamphlets showcase
modern Quaker faith & practice, which increasingly includes non-theist Quaker
faith & practice. Selden Smith has a radical, hopeful faith in the humanity to do
better & in our ability to access deeper wisdom collaboratively through Quaker
process. This faith is one of radical hope. This pamphlet is a resource for non-
Quaker non-theists serving on Quaker boards, & a blueprint for how Friends &
can use Quaker process to work collaboratively for the greater good.
Janaki Spikard Keeler
“unprogrammed” meetings offer sermons emerging spontaneously from the
gathered silence. Caring for members and religious education in this meeting
is handled by committee. Few of us have any formal theological training. Those
modern Quaker faith & practice, which increasingly includes non-theist Quaker
faith & practice. Selden Smith has a radical, hopeful faith in the humanity to do
better & in our ability to access deeper wisdom collaboratively through Quaker
process. This faith is one of radical hope. This pamphlet is a resource for non-
Quaker non-theists serving on Quaker boards, & a blueprint for how Friends &
can use Quaker process to work collaboratively for the greater good.
Janaki Spikard Keeler
[Introduction]—How can nonbelievers participate, without pre-
tense or hypocrisy, in religious exercises within Quaker groups? The
intent is to meet people where they are and make plain the joy and utility of Friend’s decision-making process to even the most secular. “Seeking the
sense the meeting” has guided Quaker decisions for almost 4 centuries; it is
a vote-less search for unity that is informed, resulting in farsighted, practical
humane, elegant solutions. It is what works with the Quaker concept of the
human-divine relationship.
Quakers seek the wisdom and skills found outside Quaker circles by
bringing members of the wider community onto their boards. The number of
bringing members of the wider community onto their boards. The number of
people identifying as nonbelievers is skyrocketing, so Friend’s institutions will
inevitably recruit more nonbelievers as members. How can a faith-based
practice be adapted for use by non-theist without being rendered mea-
ningless? I say: Bear with me. Relying on a handful of noble but entirely hu-
man qualities can bring the same joyful unity, rightly ordered choice, even
if the Light we seek is not, in the non-theist’s view, divine.
The Survival Value of Faith/ Friends & Non-theism—The tendency
to believe in a divine power of one sort or another conferred an evolutionary
advantage on those who held it, by resulting in devotion and sacrifice for the
greater good, for something more than a mere human leader. Both civiliza-
tion’s progress and untold suffering can also be laid at its feet. It doesn’t
mean that the object of that faith ever had to exist. Humankind can be led to do great things without having to believe in anything greater than the human
spirit. The proven strength of Quaker Spirit-led decisions comes because in
looking for God, & having the intention to be led, we look away from ourselves.
The Religious Society of Friends' unprogrammed branch, with its rejec-
tion of formalized rites & prayers, is more hospitable to nonbelievers. A loving,
active Friends Meeting can affirm one’s faith in humanity so thrillingly, that a
supernatural power seems unnecessary, even distracting. The non-theist can see the human spirit in its highest & best form. The resulting energy results in
the benefits of the “sense of the meeting” process.
Part 1: How the Quakers Do It—In its traditional, faith-based form, the “unprogrammed” meetings offer sermons emerging spontaneously from the
gathered silence. Caring for members and religious education in this meeting
is handled by committee. Few of us have any formal theological training. Those
who acquire a reputation for wisdom, experience, and discernment are said to
be “weighty” Quakers. The Quaker's regional groupings exist to serve the local
(monthly) meetings, not to oversee them.
A Friend's meeting is a kind of anarchy. When precisely defined, an an-
archy implies a lack of imposed authority. In Quakerism’s anarchy, leaders &
structures are chosen from within. Once a month, members & attenders ga-
ther to manage the meeting's affairs in a “meeting for worship with attention to
business.” It is meant to be a worshipful gathering under the divine Spirit. The
worshipful basis for a worship community’s or an organization’s gathering body is kept in mind even when temporal matters are considered. Business meeting traditions from 5 centuries have proved so instructive as to be worthy of codifi- cation, & can be found in their Faith & Practice or Book of Discipline. Meetings held under such a practice or discipline, can even be enjoyable.
A Friend's meeting is a kind of anarchy. When precisely defined, an an-
archy implies a lack of imposed authority. In Quakerism’s anarchy, leaders &
structures are chosen from within. Once a month, members & attenders ga-
ther to manage the meeting's affairs in a “meeting for worship with attention to
business.” It is meant to be a worshipful gathering under the divine Spirit. The
worshipful basis for a worship community’s or an organization’s gathering body is kept in mind even when temporal matters are considered. Business meeting traditions from 5 centuries have proved so instructive as to be worthy of codifi- cation, & can be found in their Faith & Practice or Book of Discipline. Meetings held under such a practice or discipline, can even be enjoyable.
Some Things Business Meetings are Not: Majority Rule; Consen- sus; Conflict-Free—Few Quakers would consider replacing any government with a sense-of-the-meeting process. But a majority can be wrong, when swayed by specious argument or false premise. Our process has advantages, when it is used in communities of manageable size whose members are genu- inely committed to it. Timid voices and awkward phrasing are given attention; there is no outvoted, disaffected minority.
Sense-of-the-meeting and consensus have an absence of voting and
arriving at a general agreement. Compromise is not part of sense-of-the-
meeting; either extreme presented in seeking consensus may be preferable
to compromise. And consensus is a secular process. Sense-of-the-meeting
can alter the perspective and realign the issue, removing the need for compro-
mise, winners, and losers. The goal of the meeting is not to avoid conflict, but
to approach it forthrightly, filled with love, and committed to unity.
Unanimity; One Person Can Block Action…—The committee's pri- mary choice is to unite around a choice. Those who can’t are supported by the meeting, & helped to articulate their objections, which at best can reveal
another path that all can embrace. They can then “stand aside,” trusting that
the weight of the meeting is rightly led. In standing aside, you do not get to
bow out of support of or participation in implementing the choice.
Respecting those few who “stand in the way,” is a difficult concept for
newcomers to understand, and derives from the commitment to recognize
the Eternal in those with whom we disagree; divinely inspired opposition must
be respected. Those who oppose are obligated to endure an intense, loving
inquiry, & share all knowledge that leads them to their opposition. Non-theists
have equal rights to, & deserve equal respect if they are the ones who, stand
in the way. In the face of time and legal restraints, a meeting may override a
dissenter, and repair the damage caused by acting without unity.
[Typical] Minutes; The Clerk, Not the Chair; Some Procedural Tips—The recording clerk’s minutes of the business meeting differ from other types of minutes in a few ways. Quaker minutes are composed during the decision-making process, not after, in order to capture the spirit of the moment in words. In the case of difficult wording, a small group may retire to work on the words while meeting continues. If wording can’t be worked out, it may be a sign that the meeting isn’t really in unity and the issue should be postpone. In Friends minutes, names are generally not recorded in connection with points raised and views expressed.
The difference between a clerk and a chair is that a clerk doing his job,
doesn’t tilt the decision in any direction. The clerk is charged with reading the
group and discerning the motion of the Spirit in the group. There are imperfec-
tions in the process and the group accepts the responsibility to spot those
imperfections and bring them out into the open. Criticism is delivered in a
loving fashion, being tough on problems, while going easy on people.
Some procedural tips are: face the clerk, thus addressing the group
and not an individual. If the clerk needs to speak personally to an issue, they
may call on themselves and physically stand to the side of the clerk’s table.
For 2 or 3 people to pursue a topic in isolation damages unity. Low-risk deci-
sions can be dispatched quickly and entrusted to an individual or small sub-
committees. Don’t show up at the tail-end of a discussion and derail it. Don’t
make yourself absent from a decision you can’t unite with; show up and have
your objection recorded.
Part 2: How You Can Do it Too: Seek Common Ground; Start by
Giving up—As a non-Quaker, involved in a Quaker institution, you share a
concern for the institution. Believers share the knowledge that every-one is at least attempting some form of communion with the divine, which create a safe space for a far-reaching search that will strengthen our communal bonds. For the non-theist, focusing on some Other can quiet the ego, and help reach be- yond it and all that comes with it. Then the vast potential of the mind beneath it has a chance to surface. Even a fleeting moment with this vast potential, when multiplied by everyone in the room, can result in a kind of secular com- munion & common ground, based in the care for the unity of the organization.
Sense-of-the-meeting and consensus have an absence of voting and
arriving at a general agreement. Compromise is not part of sense-of-the-
meeting; either extreme presented in seeking consensus may be preferable
to compromise. And consensus is a secular process. Sense-of-the-meeting
can alter the perspective and realign the issue, removing the need for compro-
mise, winners, and losers. The goal of the meeting is not to avoid conflict, but
to approach it forthrightly, filled with love, and committed to unity.
Unanimity; One Person Can Block Action…—The committee's pri- mary choice is to unite around a choice. Those who can’t are supported by the meeting, & helped to articulate their objections, which at best can reveal
another path that all can embrace. They can then “stand aside,” trusting that
the weight of the meeting is rightly led. In standing aside, you do not get to
bow out of support of or participation in implementing the choice.
Respecting those few who “stand in the way,” is a difficult concept for
newcomers to understand, and derives from the commitment to recognize
the Eternal in those with whom we disagree; divinely inspired opposition must
be respected. Those who oppose are obligated to endure an intense, loving
inquiry, & share all knowledge that leads them to their opposition. Non-theists
have equal rights to, & deserve equal respect if they are the ones who, stand
in the way. In the face of time and legal restraints, a meeting may override a
dissenter, and repair the damage caused by acting without unity.
[Typical] Minutes; The Clerk, Not the Chair; Some Procedural Tips—The recording clerk’s minutes of the business meeting differ from other types of minutes in a few ways. Quaker minutes are composed during the decision-making process, not after, in order to capture the spirit of the moment in words. In the case of difficult wording, a small group may retire to work on the words while meeting continues. If wording can’t be worked out, it may be a sign that the meeting isn’t really in unity and the issue should be postpone. In Friends minutes, names are generally not recorded in connection with points raised and views expressed.
The difference between a clerk and a chair is that a clerk doing his job,
doesn’t tilt the decision in any direction. The clerk is charged with reading the
group and discerning the motion of the Spirit in the group. There are imperfec-
tions in the process and the group accepts the responsibility to spot those
imperfections and bring them out into the open. Criticism is delivered in a
loving fashion, being tough on problems, while going easy on people.
Some procedural tips are: face the clerk, thus addressing the group
and not an individual. If the clerk needs to speak personally to an issue, they
may call on themselves and physically stand to the side of the clerk’s table.
For 2 or 3 people to pursue a topic in isolation damages unity. Low-risk deci-
sions can be dispatched quickly and entrusted to an individual or small sub-
committees. Don’t show up at the tail-end of a discussion and derail it. Don’t
make yourself absent from a decision you can’t unite with; show up and have
your objection recorded.
Part 2: How You Can Do it Too: Seek Common Ground; Start by
Giving up—As a non-Quaker, involved in a Quaker institution, you share a
concern for the institution. Believers share the knowledge that every-one is at least attempting some form of communion with the divine, which create a safe space for a far-reaching search that will strengthen our communal bonds. For the non-theist, focusing on some Other can quiet the ego, and help reach be- yond it and all that comes with it. Then the vast potential of the mind beneath it has a chance to surface. Even a fleeting moment with this vast potential, when multiplied by everyone in the room, can result in a kind of secular com- munion & common ground, based in the care for the unity of the organization.
In the usual battlefield metaphor preceding a group decision, facts are
marshaled & positions are defended. The victors dominate & the vanquished, your friends and neighbors, suffer. Quakers have not forsworn physical vio- lence, only to replace it with verbal surrogates. They enter the discussion with at least the intent to submit to a divine authority. The outcome they hope for is that a divine leading will find its way to them all. This new intent opens up a wide range of creative possibilities.
Gone are the tensions from having a vote to lose, opponents, or a point to prove. Any tension Quakers feel comes from the topic under discussion, not the process itself. How can a non-theist participant reap the benefits of surrender when there is no higher authority to surrender to? One can open oneself to the revelations from our mind’s hidden capacities. The intent & exercise of yielding puts the non-theist in the same mental space as those seeking the divine. Both have given up the desire to dominate and are open to entering secular communion in the same safe space.
One’s ego (that little voice in your head that never shuts up) is sacri- ficed. Ego is a triumph of evolution and survival & an ally in debate. The price we pay for the ego’s relentless stewardship is a general blindness to the ma- jestic roar of the ocean that its constant chatter drowns out. The believers’ prayers diminish the incessant focus on the Self. The next thing to give up is ownership of your great ideas. By Quaker tradition, the idea was and always will be God’s, so pride of authorship is avoided. The non-theist, without any divinity being involved in their ideas, can still place it in the care of the group. And just like believers, they can give loving care to ideas of others, which are no longer a reflection of the person who first had them.
marshaled & positions are defended. The victors dominate & the vanquished, your friends and neighbors, suffer. Quakers have not forsworn physical vio- lence, only to replace it with verbal surrogates. They enter the discussion with at least the intent to submit to a divine authority. The outcome they hope for is that a divine leading will find its way to them all. This new intent opens up a wide range of creative possibilities.
Gone are the tensions from having a vote to lose, opponents, or a point to prove. Any tension Quakers feel comes from the topic under discussion, not the process itself. How can a non-theist participant reap the benefits of surrender when there is no higher authority to surrender to? One can open oneself to the revelations from our mind’s hidden capacities. The intent & exercise of yielding puts the non-theist in the same mental space as those seeking the divine. Both have given up the desire to dominate and are open to entering secular communion in the same safe space.
One’s ego (that little voice in your head that never shuts up) is sacri- ficed. Ego is a triumph of evolution and survival & an ally in debate. The price we pay for the ego’s relentless stewardship is a general blindness to the ma- jestic roar of the ocean that its constant chatter drowns out. The believers’ prayers diminish the incessant focus on the Self. The next thing to give up is ownership of your great ideas. By Quaker tradition, the idea was and always will be God’s, so pride of authorship is avoided. The non-theist, without any divinity being involved in their ideas, can still place it in the care of the group. And just like believers, they can give loving care to ideas of others, which are no longer a reflection of the person who first had them.
Being Your Best Self, Not Your Best Game; Respect; Integrity—The
combat metaphor asks us to be realists, but it also closes off options that ena- ble us to solve a problem with doing something we’re going to be ashamed of.
Reaching a sense of the meeting doesn’t leave behind regrets. Quakers strive
to merge practicality with idealism in real-world situation. Divine assistance will
reveal a path to a real-world solution that meets the highest ethical standards.
How can the ethical path be revealed without divine assistance? A few non-divine human virtues, wholeheartedly embraced allow us to recognize the ethical path.
Early Quakers lived in social stratification, but didn’t participate in it. They shunned honorific titles, & used “thee” & “thou” with everyone, not just children & social inferiors. The equality testimony’s outward manifestation took the form of respect regardless of class. Thousands were imprisoned for this dissent. It was a natural outgrowth of the belief in that of God in everyone. Getting to know those around you outside of group meetings can help get past prejudices & superficial differences. Loving one’s fellow board members may be too much to ask, but respecting them is manageable.
combat metaphor asks us to be realists, but it also closes off options that ena- ble us to solve a problem with doing something we’re going to be ashamed of.
Reaching a sense of the meeting doesn’t leave behind regrets. Quakers strive
to merge practicality with idealism in real-world situation. Divine assistance will
reveal a path to a real-world solution that meets the highest ethical standards.
How can the ethical path be revealed without divine assistance? A few non-divine human virtues, wholeheartedly embraced allow us to recognize the ethical path.
Early Quakers lived in social stratification, but didn’t participate in it. They shunned honorific titles, & used “thee” & “thou” with everyone, not just children & social inferiors. The equality testimony’s outward manifestation took the form of respect regardless of class. Thousands were imprisoned for this dissent. It was a natural outgrowth of the belief in that of God in everyone. Getting to know those around you outside of group meetings can help get past prejudices & superficial differences. Loving one’s fellow board members may be too much to ask, but respecting them is manageable.
Integrity permits no partial sharing to avoid weakening your case. In- stead, you share all you know & admit what you don’t, even at the expense of seeming to miss your goal. Such full disclosure is easier; you don’t have to figure out which facts benefit your side. This disclosure doesn’t apply to legal requirements to respect privileged information. A minor misinterpretation or omission in the sense-of-the-meeting process may threaten the integrity of the group and the decision. Integrity requires “plain talk,” not sugar-coating or not just coming out and saying it. There is no reason a secular or blended group can’t be compassionately direct.
Courage & Compassion; Patience; Trust—Courage means a strong
heart; compassion means a big one. It takes courage to let one’s guard down;
it takes compassion to encourage the less articulate & self-assured to express
themselves. Outbursts of anger and irrationality require both.
In Quaker meetings, progress seems glacial at times. Friends rarely take up an issue & resolve it at the same meeting for business; Quakers “pro- ceed as way opens.” Care for the process ensures that no bitterness lingers after the decision is made. Silence’s best use is really listening to others, not preparing your own response. The “slow-moving,” patient Quakers ended up ahead of society in the freeing of slaves and the treatment of the mentally ill, prisoners, and the gay right to marriage.
Courage & Compassion; Patience; Trust—Courage means a strong
heart; compassion means a big one. It takes courage to let one’s guard down;
it takes compassion to encourage the less articulate & self-assured to express
themselves. Outbursts of anger and irrationality require both.
In Quaker meetings, progress seems glacial at times. Friends rarely take up an issue & resolve it at the same meeting for business; Quakers “pro- ceed as way opens.” Care for the process ensures that no bitterness lingers after the decision is made. Silence’s best use is really listening to others, not preparing your own response. The “slow-moving,” patient Quakers ended up ahead of society in the freeing of slaves and the treatment of the mentally ill, prisoners, and the gay right to marriage.
With trust, all group participants let their guard down; believers because
of a divine Spirit offering a far better protection; non-theist because of the very
human quality of love. When a board member & old family friend violated a rule
of board service and refused to resign, it could have been awkward for me. As
clerk, I discerned the clear sense-of-the-meeting that called for her resignation.
As a friend I loved her, and was certain that the bonds of affection would not be
broken by such a test; it was just love. Trust in one’s self is also essential, being open and vulnerable can also lead us to difficult and rewarding places of self-discovery.
Mindfulness & Humor/ Conclusion—We need to fully present for the
business meeting, & not be distracted from it in the name of efficiency, We seek
to be fully, emotionally available to the group in the same way we are to a loved
one in a fragile state, facing a big decision.
Humor has a deep role to play in meeting. The unexpected twists of humor changes the brain, & natural, spontaneous humor serves a purpose even when addressing the most solemn of concerns. By jolting us into a new perspective humor can open up pathways for understanding. Shared laughter can serve as a reset, a fresh start, a communal moment.
An oft-used phrase that Quakers turn to is the concept of “that of God in
everyone.” Attached to that phrase is the near-commandment to look for that
of God. Can we look for God without seeing the essential humanity there?
“Looking for” fosters a connection and nourishes our human spirits. The fact
that for non-believers the effort springs from a secular source makes no differ- ence in the nourishment and connection that results.
It is the joint effort of all, believer and non-theist alike, to establish a
vital, gathered community that transcends differences over belief and unbelief,
and enables us to meet each other as human beings at our best.
The word religion’s Latin roots don’t lead to any kind of God concept.
Religare means to tie fast, to bind up into a bundle. Ordinary people can, by binding one to another, achieve extraordinary things. In this sense of religare, the non-theist can be as religious as anyone else, in “tying up their bundle,” and helping others tie theirs. With our bundles securely tied, we can set out, non-theist and believer together, as a religious society of friends.
of a divine Spirit offering a far better protection; non-theist because of the very
human quality of love. When a board member & old family friend violated a rule
of board service and refused to resign, it could have been awkward for me. As
clerk, I discerned the clear sense-of-the-meeting that called for her resignation.
As a friend I loved her, and was certain that the bonds of affection would not be
broken by such a test; it was just love. Trust in one’s self is also essential, being open and vulnerable can also lead us to difficult and rewarding places of self-discovery.
Mindfulness & Humor/ Conclusion—We need to fully present for the
business meeting, & not be distracted from it in the name of efficiency, We seek
to be fully, emotionally available to the group in the same way we are to a loved
one in a fragile state, facing a big decision.
Humor has a deep role to play in meeting. The unexpected twists of humor changes the brain, & natural, spontaneous humor serves a purpose even when addressing the most solemn of concerns. By jolting us into a new perspective humor can open up pathways for understanding. Shared laughter can serve as a reset, a fresh start, a communal moment.
An oft-used phrase that Quakers turn to is the concept of “that of God in
everyone.” Attached to that phrase is the near-commandment to look for that
of God. Can we look for God without seeing the essential humanity there?
“Looking for” fosters a connection and nourishes our human spirits. The fact
that for non-believers the effort springs from a secular source makes no differ- ence in the nourishment and connection that results.
It is the joint effort of all, believer and non-theist alike, to establish a
vital, gathered community that transcends differences over belief and unbelief,
and enables us to meet each other as human beings at our best.
The word religion’s Latin roots don’t lead to any kind of God concept.
Religare means to tie fast, to bind up into a bundle. Ordinary people can, by binding one to another, achieve extraordinary things. In this sense of religare, the non-theist can be as religious as anyone else, in “tying up their bundle,” and helping others tie theirs. With our bundles securely tied, we can set out, non-theist and believer together, as a religious society of friends.
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473. Be Patterns: reflections on the words of George Fox (by John
Andrew Gallery; 2022)
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473. Be Patterns: reflections on the words of George Fox (by John
Andrew Gallery; 2022)
About the Author—John Andrew Gallery discovered the Religious
Society of Friends in Philadelphia in 1990. He has pursued a ministry of wri-
ting, having written PH Pamphlets 469. Reflections from a Solitary Meeting for
Worship (2021) & 358. Reflections from a Prayer Vigil for Peace (2001) and
other pamphlets.
See www.johnandrewgallery.com.
Introduction—George Fox & 2 companions were arrested on a variety of charges & fined for not taking off their hats in court. They refused to pay & were jailed in the worst section of Launceton Prison for 2 months. [This pam- phlets focus is on an excerpt from a letter he wrote from this “gaol,” to encou- rage Friends to continue their preaching. I have tried to discern their meaning & significance for me today.
[Summary Editor's Note: The excerpt appears after this Introduction,
broken up into phrases alongside of Gallery’s words growing out of reflection
on this excerpt].
Many other people more knowledgeable than I have written about and
interpreted these words. I am just contemplating the word themselves, and
summarizing the essence of those thoughts to provide guidance for my life. I
bring to my contemplation my personal perspective, a general knowledge of
Quaker belief and practices, and other spiritual source, such as Neal Donald
Walsch, Rex Ambler, & Edgar Cayce. Whether or not it reflects George Fox’s
or other scholars’ understanding, I have discovered specific advice on what it
means to be a “pattern,” and how to become one. I hope you will be inspired
to contemplate them for yourselves.
Excerpt of the “Letter from Summary of John Gallery’s
Launceston Gaol” Reflections
“Be patterns, be examples …” The 1st task is to be transformed &
led to a new form of
behavior, a
new way of life,
a new pattern, a
model for others.
“in all countries, places, islands, i Once I become a new pattern, I
nations, wherever you come ...” must be one constantly, every-
where, with everyone, regard-
less of the consequences
“that your live and conduct may My new pattern must be visible to
preach …” others through my way of
life;
my action, deeds &
behavior;
not just words.
“Then you will come to walk I must engage with, & go out in
cheerfully over the world…” the world, & be cheerful,
enthu-
siastic, & courageous,
thus
showing that I’ve overcome
temptation and distraction.
“answering that of God in I must recognize and respond to
everyone; …” God’s presence in each person,
as if it were God or God’s
mes-
senger.
God’s presence in
must shine forth
by me being
loving, kind, gene-
rous, & concerned for others
“whereby in them ye may be a bles- If I can be transformed & become
sing and make the witness of God a new pattern & base my inter-
in them to bless you; …” actions on it.
I can improve their lives, calling
forth the best that is in them;
it
will improve my life and
help
bring a more peaceful,
loving
world.
The Words: “Be patterns, be examples...”—When I see “Be” starting
a sentence, I imagine it having an exclamation point; it means to exist and to
“come alive.” God would have thought “Be” in all God’s creating; it's a charge
to what or who is being created. Mahatma Gandhi said: “Be the change you
want to see in the world.”
The Taoist text, Hua Hu Ching says: “… If you want to eliminate suffering in the world, eliminate all that is dark & negative in your- self.” Before you can make an impact on others, you must transform yourself. The Quaker’s “Lamb’s War” is the inward struggle to overcome the weakness within ourselves and the temptations of the world: culture, custom, too much reason, & competence. Islam has a similar struggle, called the “Greater Jihad.” We can assume that Fox’s new pattern will have a spiritual quality.
“in all countries, place, islands, nations, wherever you come; …”/
“that your life and conduct may preach…”—Friends did precisely what the
phrase calls for. Fox means that wherever you find yourself, you should clearly
manifest the new pattern you have become. I must be this new pattern consis-
tently in all contexts, with all individuals, under all circumstances. For early
Friends, this meant that even ordinary social practices had to be consistent
with spiritual beliefs.
It’s not just our words, but our actions and our way of life that demon-
strate to others that we are leading a transformed life. The visible presence of
someone leading a spiritual way of life could in itself be an inspiration to others
to thinks about the spiritual dimension of their own lives. “Plain dress” became
a characteristic of Friends, a tradition that some Friends continue today. The
Amish, Muslims, and Hasidic Jews all express their difference through particu- lar forms of dress & behavior. Today, Fox’s reminder challenges us as indivi- duals & communities to ask: How are our lives “speaking” or merely whis- pering in the world?
“
Then you will come to walk cheerfully over the world—As originally worded, Fox is not directing us to something; he is telling us what the logical outcome of becoming a pattern, of self-transformation’ will be. For early Friends, “walk” meant one’s entire behavior in all aspects of life. “Cheerfully” means that we will be enthusiastic and confident about what we are doing and will demonstrate that in our daily behavior. If we can’t manage walking cheer- fully all the time, maybe we can live as if and learn from putting the outward before the inward. “World” has a negative connotation for Fox; he expects us to go out into the world & confront temptation. With the phrase “over the world," Fox is expecting that “walking cheerfully” will overcome all temptation.
“answering that of God in every one; …” I found “that of God in
every one” to be a very compelling concept. I had to get rid of all externalities and get down to the core, to the presence of God within the other person. I
needed to act as if God were right there before me. God frequently sends
“messengers” in the form of other people or events to guide me along my
spiritual path. Believing this encourages me to treat friends & strangers alike
with kindness and respect. What I find most challenging is the notion that if
there is that of God in everyone, there is that of God in me. At times I may be
God messenger and should act accordingly.
I believe that Fox and early Quakers considered Jesus of Nazareth the
model of how to embody God’s qualities in human form. Jesus’ most impor- tant quality is his lack of self-centeredness, [his “other-centered-ness”]. It’s
not necessary to have any particular belief about Jesus to accept that these
are qualities worth showing.
[If I operate out of the stance of] “that of God
in me,” I am responding the way I do because that is who I am all the time in
all situations, with all people, regardless of circumstances. To be in an inner state of being is to be transformed by the presence of God, & letting it shine forth & influence all of your life. If we talk about “answering,” that means the other is asking something.
The other person is asking: How do I recognize you as a fellow hu- man being, or am I indifferent? How will I be respectful, helpful, and offer assistance despite differences? Answering implies relationship, undivided attention, & no preconceptions, & no projecting my fears. The Hindu namaste, which loosely translates: “The God in me salutes the God in you,” conveys this mutual interaction.
“whereby in them ye may be a blessing and make the witness of
God in them to bless you; ...” Glen Allen writes: “This is a holy encounter.”
[It is as if two parts of yourself are coming together]. The interaction can be
a blessing to that person and your Self. If I recognize their God-presence and
embody my God-presence, I am blessing & being blessed. We can bring about
the harmonious and loving relationship between all people that God desires.
Reflecting on George Fox’s statement has given me challenging ideas about how to live my life & a general idea of the characteristics of the pattern I want to be.
How do I become such a pattern?—Fox does not suggest simply
reading the Gospels & trying to imitate Jesus’ behavior; Fox was advocating
deep-transformation. Following the SPICES [simplicity, peace, integrity, com- munity, equality and stewardship is not the appropriate way to become a pat-
tern either. Early on, a key concept was “Christ has come to teach his people
himself.” The Christ consciousness within Jesus and all of us was the true
teacher. Fox’s key concern was for people to find their own “teacher within.”
Direct experience of the Inward Light’s teaching took precedence over every thing else. How do I turn to the Inward Light?
Rex Ambler suggests that you center down, and then ask your Self:
What makes you uncomfortable? Why is this situation the way that it is? Don’t try to answer; just hold the question & be open to what ever arises.
Accept, don’t judge what comes. This process is consistent with Fox saying
that the Inward Light first shows you your shortcomings and then helps you
overcome them. Those Friends in Ambler's “Experiment with Light" groups
found his approach to be very effective.
Edgar Cayce would go into a trance, and from there give advice on
health and spiritual matters. Like Fox, Cayce believed that to become or
awaken the pattern was to turn inward. Rather than focusing on your greatest
concerns, Cayce suggested holding in your mind your “ideal Self” & its ideal qualities. Neal D. Walsch suggests imagining what you would think, do, and say, comparing that to your actual thoughts, actions, & words. I have recently started meditating using Cayce’s idea. Meditating in this way has enabled me to be more conscious of the pattern I am trying to be.
Conclusion & Queries—Transforming myself can be done by consci-
ously turning inward and focusing on ideal, [other-centered] qualities. It re- quires a commitment on my part to continue to focus on my ideals, on the per- son I want to be. Gradually, I will develop a consistent new way of being that will be visible to others, leading them to recognize and bring forth the best in themselves. I will be a blessing to God, to others and to my Self. I can do it; so can you.
What new truth did you find in reading this pamphlet? What
about Fox’s “Letter from Launceton Gaol” speaks profoundly to you?
What phrases in it resonate with your spiritual life and understanding?
How has Self-transformation been or not been part of your spiritual
journey? In what ways do you feel led to be a pattern and example in
the world? What have you seen of others successfully being patterns
and examples? What does “that of God in everyone” mean to you?
In what specific way & time have you been a blessing to others, or felt the witness of God in others as a blessing to you?
474. Walking with the Bible (by Carl Magruder, Adria Gulizia, Colin
Saxton; 2022) About the Authors—Carl Magruder is a “cradle Quaker” in the waiting worship tradition and a palliative care chaplain. A systematic theology lecture provoked a desire for a messy, dynamic, mystic salvation wisdom. He finds the Earth’s gospel, “the text God wrote Herself [in creation].” He brings a message of earthcare/ earthjustice to the wider Quaker community. See http:// soulwaysconversation.org. for more about Carl. How can Friends be a people of faith, germinating with spiritual fire seeds that bring vitality to creation’s inter-connectedness? Adria Guliza is attorney, mediator, & coach. She is on the Youth Com- mittee of New York YM, the Board of Advisers, Earlham School of Religion, & with Friends of Jesus Fellowship. See her blog http://www.shadowofbabylon. com. for reflections on living a Spirit-led life in hostile conditions. Colin Saxton, DMin, for the past 35 years has served as: pastor; adjunct professor, yearly meeting superintendent, & general secretary, advancement officer, and N. A. ministry director of FUM. Introduction—In 2020, Adriza’s and my Bible weekend was canceled because of COVID-19. We launched a series of 3 online sessions in October 2020 with the co-authors of this pamphlet; there were 9 guest leaders. The sessions were recorded on http://www.bhfh.org/video-archive/ . I wanted a con- tainer where Friends could experience the Bible as a door to God's voice, and as something vibrant and filled with spiritual power. The year 2020 was a year turned upside-down by the pandemic, Trump, and George Floyd's death. As a child, I was part of a small meeting in Ann Arbor, which saw re- markable growth, due in large part to my father's passionate outreach. Many Sunday school classes were devoted to the Bible, but I never felt my meeting took the Bible very seriously. They focused on moral teachings, major events reflecting Judeo-Christian culture, and "explaining away" biblical miracles. I got no sense that the Bible could have a powerful living impact on my own spiritual journey. I got the sense from Kenneth Boulding that he found and was in touch with and deeply affected by a God capable of rocking us to our core. I began to deeply engage with the Bible in Young Friends of N.A. I began reading George Fox's Journal in 1968. Fox encountered a living Christ who shook the earth for miles around. Gospels & Journal were doorways to my encounters with the living Christ. Too often, the usual Bible study keeps us on an intellectual level, & gets in the way of God speaking directly. See Appendix for the structure I proposed. Peter Blood Deepening Our Inclusivity/ How the Series Went—My father had a narrow vision of outreach, limiting his efforts to: whites; well-educated pro- fessionals; the upper middle-class. One goal of this Bible series was to pro- vide voices not often heard; a diversity of Friends led these sessions. In open sharing, we gave priority to younger voices and Friends of color. We need to amplify those voices from groups largely absent or marginalized in Quaker gatherings. Between 50 & 70 Friends chose to spend time together with the Bible. Of the 9 bible leaders, 6 were Friends of color, 3 were under 40, and 1 self- identified as queer. The sessions were attended by mainly older, white Friends. Do we believe God is available as we read, listen, or reflect on words from a distant past? How can we learn to engage with each other and these texts with open hearts and "ears that hear? How will this approach work for Friends of different theology, forms of worship, and structures of leadership? East African and Latin American Friends have shown deep interest in trying an approach like this that offers a chance for all present to listen for God's voice in response to scriptural passages. The Bible can play an important role in opening us to God's transforming power, even perhaps for many who least expect the Bible to be relevant to their spiritual journey. Lamentation & the Liberation of the Spiritual Imagination, by Carl Magruder: My Journey with the Bible—I have been a Quaker from infancy, when I was adopted by Quakers. West Coast Quakers were nearly all con- vinced Friends, raised Catholic, Methodist, or Episcopalian; knowledge of & regard for the Bible was taken for granted. They stepped away from Bible- based traditions; their kids grew up without the book. The Bible was proble- matic and a messy text prone to lead people to intellectual, scientific, and moral errors. I said in seminary, "I want to understand the power & majesty of this book." It inspired the sort of radical, creative love I aspire to. Instead, seminary put it through the worthwhile processes of historical, archaeo- logical, literary, and feminist criticism. It came out as scriptural confetti. I then agreed with Fox when he said, "to be breed at Oxford or Cam- bridge was not sufficient to fit a man to be a minister of Christ." When I read the book while assuming that Christ was a sacred, fully enlightened incarna- tion of God-Mind, it came to life. Jesus is there in the text, to pull the rug out from under our assumptions, and our claims to being sources of truth; [Jesus offers] liberation from that slavery. The sacred, living planet's scripture offers insight on Faith & Practice in the created world. Lamentation—I had no desire to choose Psalm 22 & its lamentations; I had a clear leading not to skirt lamentation. As a palliative care chaplain, I call myself a death midwife, and help create a nurturing environment for a natural process to take place. We have to turn towards the grief, go through it, and allow ourselves to be changed by it. Profound grief shatters us; we don't go back together immediately or the same way. We grieve collectively what the pandemic has taken from us: our comfortable roles, our connection to people (because of death or isolation). Our racial reckoning as a nation is bound up because of an unexpressed mountain of grief that comes with it. A psalm of lament contains: address to the Divine; description of con- dition; petition of liberation, relief from suffering, and triumph; declaration against enemies; declaring righteousness or error and repentance; thanks- giving and praise. Lamenting turns us to the Divine; liberates our feelings; gets us in touch with our creative, love energy.
[Excerpts from] Psalm 22 (New Revised Standard Version) My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?/ Why are you so far from helping me? ... Yet you are holy, enthroned on Israel's praises of ... I am a worm and not human, scorned by others and despised by the people ... Do not be far from me, for trouble is near and there is no one to help ... I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint; my heart is like wax ... melted within my breast ... For dogs are all around me; a company of evildoers encircles me ... Deliver my soul from the sword, my life from the power of the dog! ... I will tell of your name to my brothers & sisters; in the midst of the con- gregation I will praise you ... The poor will eat and be satisfied; those who seek him shall praise the Lord. May your hearts live forever! ... All the families of the nations shall worship before him, and proclaim his deliverance to a people yet unborn, saying he has done it. Parmahansa Yogananda understands our praise of the Divine [as a product of freewill], & therefore the only thing we can offer. God can't command our praise; at the same time He also suffers, because he craves your love." St. Francis said to preach the gospel at all times; use words only if necessary. Lamentation and Ceremony—In Native American spirituality, Black Elk is heyoka, a sacred fool. Black Elk's take on Psalm 22's spirit is at follows [excerpt]: Grandfather ... lean to hear my feeble voice ... all things belong to you ... You said that in difficulty, I would send a voice 4 times ... Today I send a voice for a people in despair ... With running tears I must say that the tree never bloomed ... I have done nothing ... It may be that some little root of the sacred tree still lives ... Hear me, that my people may once more go back into the sacred hoop & find the good red road, the shielding tree. Things did not go as Black Elk wished. It's possible that things didn't end well for Job either, that a later writer tacked on the happy ending. Black Elk set out to have his second vision after a long winter of being separated from Spirit. What was such a winter like for you? Black Elk's 1st duty in his spiritual spring was to go lamenting. "After my cleansing, the medi- cine man Few Tails told me I was to stand in the middle [of the sacred hoop] crying and praying for understanding." As he was crying, the Spirit starts to fill him up and he is visited by his relatives, Crazy Horse, & spiritual beings, who gave him his sacred commission to his people. "I cried very hard & thought it might be better if my crying killed me. I could be in the outer world, where no- thing was in despair." Friends don't have a ritual for lament. I believe ritual is a place where we can touch things like our deep grief in a ceremonial, sacred space. Some- how your grief is moved, & you are able to see it & carry it in a different way. Lamentation is a transforming power which liberates our spiritual imagination. My teacher Joanna Macy has images of a "Great Unraveling," a "Great Tur- ning" away from the "Industrial Growth Society," to the "Life Sustaining Soci- ety." Friends might see it as the Peaceable Kin-dom, or Kin-dom of Heaven. If we want to be liberative agents for transforming the world to the Peaceable Kin-dom, we need to have all our parts, all our hearts [and our spiritual imagi- nation] working. Queries—What is your lament at this time? How can this lament bring you closer to the Divine? What is the Spirit saying to you as you read the words of the Psalmist and Black Elk? What concern/ work/ wit- ness does your lamentation fit and free you for?
Living as a People in Exile (by Adria Gulizia) My Journey with the Bible—I was raised Baptist, part of 1 of only 2 Black families in Shrewsbury, NJ. The Bible was part of worship and Sunday School. When I re-encountered it as an adult and Friend after reading Fox's Journal, the words of scripture penetrated my heart in a way that was new; this was mine; this truth was mine; these words were mine. It hit me in a new way, because I was reading with my head & my heart. I meditate on it, liste- ning to what God has to say to me. The words stay with me in a way they never did before I found Quakerism. I recommend reading with the heart to others.
I see 2 dangerous approaches to reading the Bible. The 1st is to read it like a cookbook. Follow the Bible's recipe & when you take it out of the oven, you have righteousness. Reading the Bible prescriptively and literally leads to rigidity and legalism. The other error is to over-spiritualize certain passage, "dialing back," reading figuratively those passages which are too much for the modern mind when taken literally. What does it mean to confront Christ as Lord over life and death? What power comes from knowing that life can be taken away, but Christ can give it back, or that we're following a power greater than life and death? When we tame and "explain" the Bible our way, we take away its revolutionary power. Read with courage & curiosity. What would it mean if what you were reading were actually true? Living in Babylon—When I chose the Jeremiah passage, the line that first struck me was the one saying I have plans for you, plans to prosper you & not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. What does it mean to follow Christ in hostile territory, in a world that encourages us to: excess; divisiveness; sharing our best moments & censoring out the worst; toxic individualism, instead of: simplicity; peace; integrity; community? What does it mean to follow the call of the Spirit into love, hope and faith when the world offers the opposite? It is fundamentally an exile experience—living as a "colony of Heaven" on a troubled Earth. What does all the change we've seen mean, when it makes the familiar seem unfamiliar? What will the future bring? Whatever it brings, God has plans for us & hope, a future, guidance and direction as we navigate a challenging world. Jeremiah 29:4-14 ([excerpt from] International Version) The God of Israel says to all I carried into exile: … Build houses & settle down; plant gardens & eat their produce … increase in number … Seek the prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile … Do not listen to dreams you encourage prophets & diviners to have; they prophesy lies to you in my name; … I have plans to prosper you … give you hope & a future. [After 70 years], I will gather you from the … places I banished you … & bring you back to where I carried you into exile ... You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. The 70 year period meant that God was asking Israel's people for a commit- ment to their new place and neighbors, & that anyone who heard and under- stood the prophecy would not take part in the return. It is planting seeds for fruit the planters will never see, & living today for a future we may not wit- ness, but we do believe in. Queries—What is your experience of living in exile? How are we called to live in this time as we prepare for God to gather us from exile & captivity? Closing Thoughts—Israel was not tasked with finding a logical ap- proach to returning home, revolting against Babylon or solving its own problem, but with seeking God with all its heart. It is good to have a natural affection for what God has placed under your influence & stewardship. Limiting your affec- tion to your family and community is bad, but having affection is good. I have prayed for the whole system, including those I have doubts about; maybe that’s praying for Babylon. Regardless of who wins an election, we will still be in exile. I encourage all of us to be prayerful, careful, vigilant, courageous, & full of a love that can only come from God. Let us love all those with whom we find ourselves, no matter who they are.
The Spacious Place God has Brought us into (by Colin Saxton) My Journey with the Bible—I didn’t grow up in a Quaker home or any kind of spiritual home; there was no praying or Bible or spiritual songs with family. After a suicide attempt, drug overdose & hopeless depression. A wave of mercy washed over me; I felt like my life was both wrecked and restored. I found myself in a little Bible church; my family didn’t know what to do with me. That’s where I enter my Bible journey; I started reading & sitting in silence. It was in reading the Bible and uncovering truths about simplicity, com- passion, honestly, & generosity, that I became convinced about the call to non- violence. My church thought that sounded un-American & sent me off to Bible school. The school taught the Bible as a manual with easy answers; it was a different kind of book for me. The Bible was important, because it was impor- tant to the people who mentored & surrounded me; it was important to Jesus & his formation. The books & letters were meant to be read together in com- munity, to shape the life of a people. I remember that the Bible is sometimes more surprising and disruptive than I want it to be. As a pastor I took on the responsibility of being an acces- sory to the radical alteration of people's lives. Gandhi recognized the Bible as a very powerful document, and that most Christians treat it as one more piece of literature. I encourage people to engage with the Bible; wrestle with it. Psalm 18—I share a sense of lament and hope with Carl & Adria. This psalm asks: How do we live in difficult circumstances and be faithful? Listening to people around the country, I get the sense of feeling hemmed in, fearful & anxious; we have to do something. How can we operate out of the Life & Power that is available to guide our steps & empower our efforts? This psalm has the idea of God leading people into a spacious place. Spaciousness is the grace that liberates us, that sets free the fearful, unchains the prisoner, & cancels debts. It doesn’t promise that everything’s going to be okay, but rather that in the midst of difficulties and feeling near to being overwhelmed, God opens up this space of Light we are able to step into, walk in & be faithful in. When we’re paying attention, something opens up for us and we remember the power and presence in the world that’s more powerful than any enemy or danger. How do we live into that spacious- ness so it might help others experience it? Psalm 18: 1-19 ([excerpt from] International Version) I Love you, Lord my strength … my rock, fortress & my deliverer … The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death con- fronted me. In my distress I called to the Lord … for help … He parted the heavens and came down; dark clouds were under his feet … He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him … He shot his arrows & scattered the enemy, with great bolts of light- ning he routed them … He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters … & [away] from my powerful enemy … He brought me to a spacious place; he rescued me be- cause he delighted in me. Queries—Have you ever felt like life was about to swallow you completely? When you find your-self feeling hemmed in by anxiety or fear, what helps you re-center in a spacious place? What rises within as you consider the words from the psalms? Appendix: Session Preparation—A leader should: have a living rela- tionship with Bible and a desire to invite others into that experience; discern a passage they are led to use in the session; ask an elder to hold them in the Light during the session; create queries for the session; invite people to bring a Bible or online access to 1. Format—What was the leaders personal journey with the Bible; Why was this passage rising for the leader at this moment in time; Give passage citation & read the passage; leader shares queries; Friends share response to queries, or whatever arose for them from this passage in small groups; Friends return to large group for worship sharing; leave space for silence, and be mindful of Inward Teacher.http://www.pendlehill.org/product-category/pamphlets
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475. Hillbilly Quaker (by Jennifer Elam; 2022) About the Author—Jennifer Elam is from the mountains of eastern KY.
After not making a living at farming the family moved to Chicago; her parents worked in factories for 20 years. From an early age, Jennifer wanted to go to college. She entered into & practiced psychology from 1969-2014. [She joined Quakers in 1991 in Berea, KY]. She started with a 4-week internship at Pen- dle Hill, then spent 25 years there; in 2020 during the pandemic she returned to KY.
Appalachia is a wound and joy and a poem. Silas House Introduction—[I identify strongly with this quote]. It brings together the extremes my Appalachian heritage has been for me. Stories about Appala- chia often either: highlight depravity; focus on mountain people's entertainment value; or romanticize Appalachia. How does one write about Appalachian poverty without promoting stereotypes? How does one write to show that Appalachian people are like people in the rest of the world? How does one write about Appalachian life’s amazing, wonderful, and unique parts without romanti- cizing it or creating new stereotypes? How does the writer attract rea- ders when daily life turns out not to be sensational? Appalachian stereotypes are so ingrained & accepted, they aren't usually questioned. I hope to share my Appalachian heritage, amplify Appala- chian values and strengths, and raise awareness of the need for social justice work among those people. I desire a Quaker-led equality testimony there. My Appalachian Story—I was born in rural KY and raised on 5 farms, some dairy, some tobacco. 2 farms have been in my family for generations on my father’s side: my grandmother’s since the 1790’s; my grandfather’s for 6 generations. I lived in the playpen when I was very small, while my parents worked hard and our English Shepherd, Lady babysat me. The relatives came; they held me and loved me. The work stopped for a moment; then, back to the playpen. There were crawdads in the creek, a tall train trestle, and a black-and- white baby “kitty” from the field. We had outdoor toilets and chamber pots; we never had electricity or running water. My family lived a fairly isolated life. On my 1st day of school, I had never seen so many kids before, around 100. I never talked in public school; only in play school at home. We lived in Waddy when I was in 2nd to 5th grade. [As Daddy said:] We are not poor; we just don’t have money. We gathered black walnuts and collec- ted pop bottles, one to sell, the other to get the deposit. At 8, I exclaimed, “I don’t know what it is, but I want to go to college.” Around 12, my parents, 3 sis- ters, & I, rode north on the Hillbilly Highway to a Chicago suburb. The Appala- chia I’m talking about is the rural and mountainous areas in KY. In Carpentersville, IL, we had our own house with electricity, running water, and 3 bedrooms. Mama & Daddy worked in 2 different factories. Daddy said about being a hillbilly: “Just be proud of who you are & where you’re from & they have nothing on you”; that’s harder than it sounds. I tended to assimilate blindly & not talk much. I got a D in reading because I wouldn’t talk about what I read. I had a horrible time with a 20-minute presentation. I taught the city kids how to grow tobacco.
When I was 16 & having a bad time in high school, I asked if I could go live with my mama’s mama in Dayton, OH. She loved her Methodist church, to travel & visit; she was president of the Women’s Christian Temperance Union. Her “boy renters” were with her for decades. She wrote to every member of the family. I loved living with Nana. At the end of 11th grade, I had enough credits to graduate early. I started college at Wright State University in 1969. Dr. Glenn
at Chapel Hill, NC, said, “You are a Quaker.” [The seed was planted, & I later said yes to an invitation to attend Berea Friends Meeting in 1991. In the si- lence, I felt at home. [Being an] educated Quaker of Appalachian “hillbilly” heritage seemed like an oxy-moron in my young life.
Stereotypes of people are sneaky and manipulative ideas that seep …
into culture & pollute generations; they ... [are confused with having] an under- standing of another group … because there is a touch of truth, we fall victim to the lies. Lisa O. Carey Appalachian Stereotypes—Common Appalachian stereotypes are depicted in images from the war on Poverty (mid-1960’s), especially in Martin County, KY, where President Lyndon Johnson visited. I had my childhood baths in a tub like one pictured in Life magazine. In winter, my family lived in 1 room next to a wood stove. Unlike the popular narrative, there was family love and survival strength in my life. In a Quaker sharing group, an upper middle-classed woman used a Appalachian “hillbilly” stereotype to describe her son’s lifestyle, without realizing it was a stereotype. In many parts of the country people, inclu- ding Quakers, are not aware they are talking in stereotypes. Letting the com- ments roll off me had served me, but it wasn’t serving me now. I needed to practice integrity in writing about this social justice issue. Some of the queries Friends asked me in a small group were: What parts of your Appalachian heritage are most relevant to Quakers? What is the purpose of your writing? What are Appalachian stereo- types? Not all Appalachians are poor, addicts and “not smart.” They were required to adapt, assimilate, and give up their heritage. This group made me realize that many loving, well-meaning people simply had no concept of their prejudice or bias against Appalachians. I often felt invisible when people spoke to me, & I realized that I am being seen as a projection rather than who I am. How does a whole group of people, a whole region, respond to being stereotyped and their real selves rendered invisible? As a social worker, … I never before thought of needing to acknowledge this bias and these prejudices we used, even among Quakers. Pat Austin Appalachian Speech—Among educated southerners, the “Walter Cron- kite” version is the accepted version of speech; others are considered inferior. Even as a respected academic & author, Silas House refused to give up his Appalachian accent, calling it “accent as activism.” Hearing Appalachian brings a deep feeling of home that allows me to breathe more deeply. Bill Mardis wrote a column for the Somerset, KY newspaper. Some read it for entertain- ment, others to connect with their heritage. I always knew what “your humble reporter” (Bill) was talking about. [I once taught English by “correcting” Appala- chian spelling; now I would reward it and point out the alternative]. I get con- nection and enjoyment out of it, and [question the motives of northerners who imitate it]. Phoenicia Miracle did TED talks about her KY hometown’s language. She learned that her daddy did not use bad English, but an English based on Elizabethan English. Phoenicia extolled the importance of balance; balance hinges on place; place determines the language used. Her parents gave her balance: “Mama ensured I always had a choice; Daddy ensured I could al- ways come home.” Rebecca Greene, a Stanford linguist, says linguists know little about language in the American South. The language is powerful in building both the ideologies of the South and personal identity for its people. Appalachian culture is being lost to assimilation. Some see it as necessary in joining the 21st cen- tury and changing the Appalachian image from its negative stereotypes. Many just feel pure loss as we see people losing their accents. Many assumptions in Appalachia about basic communication are the opposite of those outside the region, especially: “tell your own story … don’t be nosy” vs. Quaker listening; “waste not, want not” (seen as being stingy); having each other’s back vs. Self- care; and saying “hello” to every one. Unpacking “Hillbilly” Identity with Papa—My Daddy’s response to “Appalachian culture” and “what’s a ‘hillbilly’” is: “There’s no such thing,” and “I don’t know.” Papa’s take on our “hillbilly history” is that the English started cal- ling the mostly Scots-Irish settlers hillbillies after the English beat the French, deported them to Louisiana, & took over America; many English came down to VA & settled. The first known use of “hillbilly” in print was in 1892. “Hillbil- lies” were often considered independent and self-reliant individuals, as well as backward and violent. My daddy’s view about poverty is that in the Civil War the North came through and took the horses; the South came through & took the cows. Later the coal companies came in & took the land. My being from KY causes a lot of assumptions and some anti-hillbilly bias. My papa is proud to be a hillbilly & has no desire to be a “flatlander.” Hillbillies “don’t put on airs. They don’t pre- tend to be something they’re not.” Even when we had very little, daddy always got a turkey or two and brought them to people who had less than us. Buried Seed Cracks Opens—I saw my daddy cry when I brought up the topic of mountaintop removal; it was devastation. [The same kind] of deva- station happens to a people are treated as inferior; it takes the form of intrac- table poverty. My daddy held my Appalachian heritage when I couldn't. I wan- ted more for my life than was possible as a hillbilly. To do that though, I assim- ilated & unconsciously turned my back on my heritage as well as a piece of my own soul. I haven’t found “home” in any particular place in my life. More than place, “home” has come for me in moments in: Sunday School; growing and learning; silence among Quakers. And with: family; friends and lovers. Home includes moments of transcending ever-present stereotypes which will rob me of a sense of home if I let them. How have I lost my sense of identity, home & equality? How have I processed it? One way is to draw upon my love of Appalachian music and dance. I felt at home after I attended Berea Friends Meeting, in a way I had not felt in any faith community in my life. I was a Quaker. I asked Parker Palmer for help in understanding Quakers; he suggested I visit Pendle Hill. There I disco- vered the truth about the wealth gap in the US as I wrote a paper on the Peace Churches’ and Buddhists’ work in peace testimony. How can there be peace when 45% of the world’s [and Appalachia’s] wealth is controlled by 1% of the population?
This piece of research took me back to my heritage. Becoming im- mersed in Quakerism meant that art, creativity, and spirituality became a focus for me in Pendle Hill’s art studio. I was introduced to the Creation Spirituality of Matthew Fox & learned that creativity was for everyone. Fox’s Spirituality re- mains a foundational piece of faith & co-creativity remains the foundational core of my hope for the world. Others’ Appalachian Stories—I interviewed people who did not leave KY, but did spend time away from their home places; I found many elements of my story in theirs. Most of them have found creativity in [various] forms to be medicine for their feelings of loss related to their Appalachian heritage: Kathy—She wanted to go to college in Cincinnati and loved her family & her eastern KY holler. The loss she was feeling was evident in the music & poetry she created to help her survive. Kirsten—She wrote Appalachian Reckoning: A Region Responds to ‘Hillbilly Elegy’,(by J. D. Vance). Our main issues were similar & we shared stories. She detailed values: love of land & traditions. Jimmy Lou—Jimmy Lou became a bead-maker at age 52. She was a medical lab technician in Detroit for most of her life. She had to prove to others that she was not ignorant. Once she did, they began to treat her like a real person. Once in a very crowded elevator, she looked at them & said. “I guess y’all wonder why I called this meetin’” … They’ll talk to ya if you let them know you’re a real person and where you’re from.” Reverend Tim—As a music teacher, he was sent to Detroit for training in teaching a particular kind of keyboard. His fellow teachers laughed at his accent and made it difficult to present his lesson plan. Meredith McCarroll—She wrote in Unwhite: Appalachia;Race; & Film: “I have [sought] to combat generalizations or distance myself from them … Appalachians were being portrayed using the same lazy methods [used for a long time] to portray nonwhites [with] disempowe- ring, degrading images.” J. D. Vance--[After about a year of resisting], I read his book, Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family & Culture in Crisis. When I finished rea- ding it, I cussed. When I saw how that book was being used, I cussed a lot more. I don’t think that either hillbillies as drug addicts with dys- functional families or romanticizing mountain culture provides a realis- tic, whole picture of my Appalachian heritage. Strengthening stereo- types that make it harder for families to break out of poverty is criminal. Ivy Brashar—Her story was used in McCarroll’s response to Vance’s book. She writes: “When people are cast as lesser, it makes it a whole lot easier to take everything from them: fair pay; education; healthcare for those most in need. We remember our history of fighting for each other ... just as we have always done; that too, is who we are. [We must stand for] justice against oppressive systems … embracing con- tradictions & living within them, presenting ourselves in our truest form.
What does comfort have do with living real life? Jennifer Elam’s Dad A Testimony of Equality for Appalachia/ Friends and Appalachia— The Quaker’ equality testimony is one of the most basic tenets of the faith. We should pay attention to racial & cultural equality & justice. Why, after centu- ries is the poverty in rural Appalachia still not addressed? Why don’t people know there are stereotypes in their thinking about Appalachian people? What if Quakers could respond to these issues in meaningful ways? A 70 year-old woman who protested racial injustice had a prayer when she was 18: “May I never forget how angry I am at this moment.” Her anger motivated her to action, and was an ally in finding energy to act. I have felt passion about this issue, and written many pages; I hope they will be read & understood by others. When the pandemic hit, I was in PA. I realized I needed to move back to KY to settle my parents’ estates. Alison Stine, from WV’s “poorest county,” writes: “We are a place either forgotten about or disparaged by much of Ame- rica. Yet, we have each other’s backs.” Businesses there stepped up & the people cared for one another. I have met some of the smartest, most well-read people in Appalachia. Many of them are a fix-anything kind of folk. I have not encountered that quality to the same degree anywhere beyond Appalachia. [There are a lot of thrifty people in Appalachia. Serving self and others, learning and growing, having an alive sense of creativity, and practicing faith are all incredible gifts among many Appalachian people. The extremes seen in media are out there, but most of Appalachia are represented by the same childhood & family scenes found everywhere in America. Imagine a testimony of equality in Appalachia, through social justice projects. For progress to be made, the diversity must be recognized and appreciated. We are a people that follow after those things that make for Peace, Love, and Unity. It is our desire that others feet may walk in the same. Margaret Fell How can I be a Quaker when I and others have not recognized or claimed equality for ourselves or our heritage because of projected shame? How can Quakers overcome stereotypes and live our testi- mony of equality for Appalachia? How could there be a deep integra- tion of the best of the old and of a new Appalachia, with all of its people enjoying freedom and equality? I want to be part of the union organizer Mother Jones’ movement with other activists. I invite you to join. Queries—How have you repressed parts of your heritage or cul- ture to follow a calling? How do we become aware of and address stereotypes and the prejudice they can feed? What can Quakers do to reduce the projection and erroneous assumptions about Appalachians based on stereotypes? What practical steps, both inward & outward, does the equality testimony require of us? How might we offer a spiritual home without making our community’s culture a part of that offer? What might our equality testimony for Appalachia have in com- mon with our work on racism? How is it different?
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476. Radical Transformation: Long Overdue for the Religious Society of Friends (by Vanessa Julye; 2022) About the Author—Vanessa Julye is working on increasing awareness
of systemic White supremacy within the Religious Society of Friends (RSOF). She has a concern about helping the RSOF become a blessed, whole commu- nity through speaking, workshops, staffing Quaker groups dealing with racism, and published pieces like, Fit for Freedom, not for Friendship: Quakers Afro- Americans, and the Myth of Racial Justice. I want to honor the Lenni Lenape Tribe of PA. They are called the origi- nal people; their homeland is seen in many Algonquin tribal traditions as the ori- ginal birthplace of the Algonquin Indians. They are seen by various other tribes as the “grandfather tribe.” The Lenni Lenape tribal members all trace their de- scent through their mother’s line. They are caretakers of Lenapehoking land, from Northern DE to Southeastern NY, & from the Atlantic Ocean to the forests of eastern PA. The Nanticoke Lenni-Lenape Tribal Nation writes: “The Lenape peo-
ple lived in harmony with one another on this land for thousands of years. [From the late 1700’s onward], during the colonial and federal period, many
were removed west & north, bur many remained in the historical tribal commu-
nities of the Nanticoke, Ramapough, & Powhatan Nations. We affirm Chief Tamanend’s aspiration that there be [everlasting] harmony between indigenous people and descendants of immigrants.” “Turtle Island” is the name given to North America by many eastern tribes. I lift up 3 ancestors tonight: Thomas Pinn, “Indian” Charles [born of indi-
genous tribes], & Leah Warner from Guinea. I couldn't sustain my ministry with- out their examples of encountering & surviving White Supremacy generations before me. The Pinns were assimilated into European culture through the Epis- copal Church, losing indigenous language, culture & names in the process.“In-
dian” Charles watch his tribe’s adults being sold into slavery to Antigua Island. Leah Warner was kidnapped at 12 years-old from Guinea to Bermuda, which was a loophole to get around the law against bringing enslaved Africans
into the U.S. She was sold as an “enslaved Caribbean” in South Carolina. Leah’s family watched each other being separated and sold at auction. When
I’m near my breaking point, I rest on my ancestor’s solid foundation of persis-
ting in building lives and families. Many of our systems no longer serve us; it is time for transformation. We live in a tumultuous time of severe climate change, pandemic, and in an economic system skewing availability heavily in favor of White people. White supremacy, racism, colonization, and capitalism are all systems being imple- mented internationally. What are the elements from Europe that have con- tributed to Turtle Island's colonization, & which helped establish White supremacy here? The Roots of White Supremacy: Crusade/ Doctrine of Discovery— There were 8 major Crusade expeditions from 1096-1291, the 1st sanctioned by Pope Urban II. Christian soldiers saw themselves as superior & more human
than Muslims. The Doctrine of Discovery was a series of papal bulls in the 15th century, claiming the right for European colonizers to take land & to kill or con- vert its inhabitants, to “capture, vanquish, and subdue Saracens, pagans, and other enemies of Christ, to put them into perpetual slavery, & take all their pos- sessions and property”; people & land were made European property through state-sanctioned structural violence. The U.S Manifest Destiny Doctrine dispos- sessed North America’s indigenous people. It was believed to be both justified & inevitable. The policy grew out of, & was based on the Doctrine of Discovery. This doctrine was used to colonize Africa and the Americas. William Penn’s sons illegally expanded their father’s territory by tricking the Lenni Lenape with fradulent documents. [Indigenous people’s attitude of not owning the land was used to deny them the right to own it]. The US Supreme Court used the Doctrine of Discovery to deny tribes the right to tribal sovereignty after repurchasing the land; it denied non-Christians the right to claim their own humanity. Stolen land and resources, & exploitation of free labor facilitated the development of commerce and industry in the world; it was [& still is] the back- bone of our global economy. The RSOF and People of Color—I have observed 4 common threads in the several YMs I attended this summer: 1. The RSOF is getting smaller. 2. We struggle to attract and maintain youth and people of color. 3. The num- ber of people who have the time and resources to volunteer is shrinking. 4. Volunteer-run committees are not able to find enough people for a fully func- tioning committee. Our current structures are failing us. We need to be using continuing revelation to help invoke the transformation Quakerism is currently crying out for. The lack of Friends' engagement with our structure is alarming. Why is addres- sing White supremacy & privilege important? The continued existence of the RSOF relies on attracting & nurturing people of color as their population grows & the population of European Americans decreases. Why has the number of colored persons within the Society always been so small? How are they kept at a distance by our neglect or repulsive conduct? Kristen Block found common characteristics between African-Caribbean and Quaker practices in her study of Quakers & slavery in Barbados: “centrality of dreams and portents; denunciation of Pride, Drunkenness, Covetousness, Oppression and deceitful dealings; & the leveling of social distinction. The majo- rity of Friends behaved like the average American of European descent; they believed that people of African descent were not equal to people of European descent. English Quakers believed enslavement necessary to economic develop- ment. People of African descent weren’t allow to become members in the RSOF
until 1784. Friends donated to the establishment of schools for African Ameri-
cans, but were mostly reluctant to admit them to Quaker schools. Changes have
been made in these practices, but there are still walls of White Supremacy that provides greater access to power & resources to people of European descent. This system tells us this behavior is normal, encouraging us to support it by not questioning our daily life-patterns. White Supremacy Among Friends—What are the patterns of White Supremacy among Friends? Friends were involved in all aspects of the enslavement system. Quakers contributed to the seizure of Indigenous land and invested in supporting ships that transported enslaved Africans as cargo through the banks & insurance companies they used. While George Fox urged Quakers to consider manumission, he didn't call for an end to the practice of enslavement. William Penn and others bought Barbados slaves, & Barbados colonists brought their slaves and pro-enslavement ideologies to William Penn’s Pennsylvania. We need to confront the uncomfortable aspects of Quaker history. When we blame slavery on the South, we erase Quaker complicity in, and support for enslavement. William Boen, enslaved from birth to adulthood applied for mem- bership in Mount Holly MM at the age of 28; it was not until [51 years later] that he was accepted. It took Abigail Franks 3 years and discernment at every level of PA Quaker hierarchy, including Philadelphia YM, to be accepted into Birming- ham Meeting. “Normal” Quaker practices were [and continue to be] damaging. We must be critically engaged with the past to understand the influence it conti- nues to exert on the present. Sarah Mapps Douglass, an African American educator, scholar, artist, & abolitionist in the 1840’s writes: “My mother says that very many of our people inclined to Friends mode of worship; she lamented the unchristian conduct that kept them out ... they could not bear the cross of sitting on the “black bench” … many … would gladly come into your green pastures, and repose by your still waters, did not prejudice bar the entrance! I am persuaded the Lord has contro- versy with “Friends” on this account. Let them see to it.” 20th century Friends, who were used to making decisions for people of African decent, did not understand when African Americans began fighting for themselves, for self-determination & making their own decisions in seeking the same privileges & opportunities as European Americans. They felt African Ame- ricans were rejecting them and everything they represented. Barrington Dunbar writes: “The RSOF has mostly been content to be “white liberals” They have accepted the values, legitimacy, [& inequitableliving conditions] of the American system. They have not acted forcefully for civil rights, for fear of losing social status and incurring disfavor. Friends have found arrogance, violence, & separateness in Black Power. Friends have accommo- dated to the daily covert violence of institutional racism and are therefore guilty of our own kind of violence …” African American Dwight Spann-Wilson, general secretary of FGC writes: “I haven’t seen 75 black Quakers yet … I’ve been taught to adapt to white society … When is somebody going to adapt to me? Why do I have to be the one to make changes? Why do people never try to un- derstand me?” Bill Brown writes: “I am caught in the dilemma of trying to be a loving and trusting Quaker in a religious home that seems not to under- stand my most foundational needs: shelter in perilous times; comfort from cycli-
cal relationship of class & color; a stable location in the human family. Quakers have a coziness with racism that is to some degree cooperation with the status quo. Racism … lurks in the RSOF."
Valerie Brown, a Buddhist & Quaker teacher, retreat leader, leadership coach, writes: “Unwritten norms underlie Quaker faith and practice—& worship in particular. Sometimes in worship, my rage is triggered by someone’s good intentions; they fall flat, leave me scratching my head in curiosity, or shaking in the heat of my anger … Good intentions, even when Spirit-led, aren't a license to ignore their unintended impact on others … A reframe for Quakers would be to take a deeper exploration of good
intentions. How do our intentions unintentionally or intentionally affect others? How might our good intentions further support our own impli- cit bias? How might we look deeper at our intentions & align them with our values?” The words of these Friends causes great sadness in how relevant they continue to be. During COVID-19 several Friends have shifted to FGC’s Ministry
on Racism online worship and gathering spaces for people of color; they don’t feel nurtured in general Quaker settings. Our ancestors have left us this system. In many ways the seed of en- slavement, genocide, & Whiteness all come from the tree of White supremacy. Friends abolished enslavement to preserve the RSOF's purity, not to restore
freedom for Africans and African Americans. Change will come only with delibe- rate attention and effort to dismantle those systems of oppression and achieve racial equity. It is time to rearrange, replace, or remove some practices in Qua- kerism. Friends of color [need to guide the rest of American Quakerism] in deci- ding which practices are essential, Spirit-led aspects of the religion without which Quakerism could not exist. It’s time to co-create a religion that reflects all of us. White Culture, Fragility, and Resilience—Daniel Hill quotes Robin D’Angelo: “One of the benefits of privilege that comes with white skin is being sheltered from having to engage with raced-based stress. [Having no experi- ence with raced-based stress] leads to White fragility.” Hill continues: “When you engage with difficult topics … you develop a more muscular approach to staying engaged … Learning to respond in a healthy way to the internal chaos aroused by our awakening is an important step forward.” When I shared my research in Fit for Freedom, not Friendship … I won- dered whether European Ameri-can Friends would retreat into White fragility, or would they be resilient? More Friends were resilient than I expected. I need you to be resilient, because as Daniel Hill says: “The resilient person not only reco- vers from disruption, but persists through it. Be open to listening in new ways & understand things outside of a White culture context. Let any White fragility that comes pass through; apologize for rather than defend your intentions; focus on how your actions impacted others regardless of how good your intentions were. An equity approach acknowledges & corrects for exploitation and oppres- sion, and breaks down unjust systems that have benefited some people while keeping others down. We must build a RSOF where everyone feels welcome for who they are. Let us identify & remove non-essential Euro-centric practices that aren't related to the core of our beliefs. We need to understand how we continue to maintain the White Supremacy structure our ancestors contributed to. Then
we can rebuild Quakerism into an equitable and peaceful home. Transformation is Possible—Educate yourself on White supremacy & promoting racial justice. Move beyond diversity and inclusion to racial represen- tation; create alternative power structures, practices, & accountability. We must change now, before we lose more Friends of color from the RSOF. We need to acknowledge that racial justice is a global issue, deal with the harm colonization has caused, and reallocate the wealth gained from theft of Indigenous land. We can be open to new experiences and be ready to learn patterns of new behavior that include embracing doubt and uncertainty. The Fellowship of Friends of African descent was formed from a 1990 Pendle Hill gathering; it bears witness to Divine presence in an African-oriented worship experience, education, activism, & service. Ujima Friends Peace Center was established in 2017 and helps establish Quaker events and retreats for Friends of color. Currently it is what several Friends of color need to remain in the RSOF. An African-American Friend, Jack Drummond offered the metaphor of metamorphosis of a tobacco hornworm into a Carolina Sphinx Moth. In the egg, the caterpillar grows an imaginal disk for each of the adult body parts. At the hard-shell pupal stage, the caterpillar digests itself; only the imaginal disks sur- vive the digestive process. The disks use the protein-rich soup all around them to fuel the rapid cell division required to form wings, antennae, legs, eyes, & all other features of a moth. Our meetings will seem like an equally soupy mess as we digest the structure that no longer serves us because it holds us back from co-creating our new wings and antennae. All of our cultures & values will be digested together. However long the process, we will be a stronger RSOF for doing the transfor-
mation's messy work together. Let us change our pattern to one that honors
freedom, equity, integrity, and peace, & removes the barriers of White supre- macy. I know that the Religious Society of Friends has the faith & trust of conti- nuing revelation to co-create a transformed religious community.
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477. One Caregiver's Journey with Dementia (by; Anne Felton; 2022) About the Author—Anne Felton joined Quakers in 1991 as a member of Canberra & Region Quakers, after attending many years. She responded to a powerful leading to study spiritual direction, after retiring from a 45-year scienti- fic job. Keith was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at this time. "My Studies helped me understand & embrace the spiritual dimension of my caregiving journey with Keith. Through the gifts of spiritual direction, the Alzheimer's diagnosis, & the new Quaker community at Silver Wattle, I live life adventurously, choosing the way that offers the fullest opportunity of the use of my gifts in the service of God and community." In the beginning was the word & the word was dementia/ Dementia Brings Fear and Suffering—Our life in retirement changed the moment the doctor said "dementia," which might explain Keith's changes in behavior. It be- came clear that Keith did not know what to make of the Alzheimer's diagnosis; he avoided talking about it, and did not want to know about any of the expected changes. Both of us would have to make great changes in how we lived. I, who was once the protected, would have to become the protector. I offer my story as a testament to what spiritual dimensions might be pos- sible when the caregiver can "let go and let God" direct their life. I learned that dementia describes a collection of symptoms that are caused by disorders affec- ting the brain. Alzheimer's is the most common form of dementia; I was over- whelmed with information. I found that a diagnosis of dementia also has emo- tional and social consequences. Video Dementia programs portrayed old age as a time of decline, demen- tia as almost inevitable, and causing fear of losing independence and [precious] memories of friends. How would family respond to dementia and inevitable changes? How could I support them? How strong is the glue that holds together relationships with friends and family? How will I feel when Keith forgot who I was? Relationships/ Still a Person?—Keith and I felt brought together by God & bonded by Holy Spirit. Fears and changes seemed to be separating us. Close relationships seemed to fracture as people puzzled over Keith's changed behaviors. Remembering Keith's illustrious career, people kept telling me, "What a tragedy." I perceived Keith's dementia not as a tragedy, but simply as a diffe- rent phase of his life and our life as partners; I felt a lingering sadness for my friends' and family's difficulties accepting changes in Keith. I was heartened that people in our small town accepted Keith as he was and didn't fear him . If Keith got lost, I knew someone would find him and bring him home. Infrequent friends would say "He's so different now—like someone else altogether." Who was this "someone else" to them? He was still the same to me, just more forgetful and losing some life skills. How is the person with de- mentia still a person? How could the terms "living vegetable" and "non- person" ever apply to a person with dementia? Why should the rational mind be the centrality of what it means to be a person? What of the spiritual? What was happening to me [in caring] for dementia? What was happening to us? The Dark Night of the Soul—Spiritual mentor Mateo Sol suggests that the modern understanding of "dark night of the soul" can often mean "losing all meaning in life, feeling out-of-touch with the Divine, betrayed, forsaken by Life, and having no solid or stable ground to stand on." My darkness was like a very dark tunnel. When I reached out for God, God didn't take my hand. I did still feel I was a child of God, although God seemed very far away.
Keith also seemed remote from me. Was Keith experiencing his own "dark night of the soul? I felt in a state of limbo, neither this nor that, fearful, alone, and not good enough to be a caregiver. Certainly not myself. I didn't know what I needed to "take care of myself" in this new existence. What did other caregivers do to take of themselves? I looked for but did not find caregivers' stories that focused on spiritual journeys. Life as daily doing/ Doing ... and more doing—I began by thinking mainly about the tasks of care that were necessary. Protection of Keith became increasingly important as safety issues arose. Keith was becoming more anxious. For him it was life as usual, and it was just me who was frustrating and making him anxious by hiding his things. He simply could not know that he was losing life functions. He could not initiate needed actions involving his will, power of attorney, and guardian arrangements. Hours of investigation & fast-changing bureaucratic mazes made managing our household difficult. After looking at caregiver, care, cares definitions, I perceived my active caregiving role as "fee- ling concern or interest; attaching importance to something"; my cares were "a feeling of anxiety." The "doing" of caregiving was taking over. I clearly wasn't getting enough of what I needed, although I still didn't know what that might be. My experience of caregiving was very different from what I was reading. Those stories focused on efficiency. Much of the advice assumed the help of family & friends and the ready availability of services. I tried in vain to make care arrangements suitable for Keith while I took a break. I had great difficulty understanding why the ma- nagement approach to caregiving seemed so inappropriate. Being?/ But still there is fear ... Where is Spirit?—I went to a demen- tia information session with Christine Boden Bryden as a featured speaker; she spoke about finding Spirit in her own journey as a person with dementia. How can the caregiver of someone with dementia lead a Spirit-filled life? What might that life be like? I sought out books by Elizabeth MacKinlay, the spiritual companion of Christine. [Both these women] seemed to understand that joy and love could permeate the dementia journey; they became spiritual friends who [offered] affirmation & encouragement to follow a spiritual path in my caregiving. Caregiving was more than management. Now I looked toward God to become more fully present as a caregiver. My terrifying fear about Keith's & my future life lasted for years. I began to wonder: How is the biomedical model, the popular image of dementia as a purely medical condition, and models of dementia care flawed or incomplete? Julian Hughes writes, “Our ways of understanding dementia & the possibilities of care must be unbounded. Spirituality is a way of breaking down the boundaries of thought and language that otherwise confine our ways of both Being and Being-with in dementia… Spirituality is part and parcel of what it is to be a person. Spirituality in dementia often focuses on the carers, who are best placed to maintain the person’s standing as someone of moral worth and dignity. New “ways of Being and Being-with” challenged me to embrace the po- tential for spiritual growth and gifts in the experience of caregiving of a person with dementia. I felt that spiritual growth could be realized by people with de- mentia themselves. The brain and nervous system are plastic. Given an appro- priate and supportive environment, the person with dementia can thrive, [along with the spiritual life of the caregiver]. With God’s help: What might be possi- ble for both the person with dementia and their caregiver in the spiritual dimension? My spiritual focus gave me a different perspective. I knew “experimen- tally” that our relationship was still blessed by God. I was required constantly to affirm Keith’s person-hood, his Spirit, and that this experience was something we shared beyond anything we had shared before. An experienced dementia nurse told me, “He will always remember you.” There were still flickers of joy that we still had each other; we could share hugs and kisses, & go out walking together. That Keith and I continued to enjoy each other’s company was one of many delights of our shared dementia journey. Silver Wattle Quaker Retreat & Study Centre/ Spiritual Direction— Keith & I visited and began to spend time regularly there. After we attended a guided retreat, the retreat facilitator commented, “I thought he was just another retreatant.” “ Yes he is … just another retreatant,” I replied, but I was saddened [by the stigma that comment implied]. Silver Wattle operates on a “daily rhythm”: a day structured with shared prayer & work, study and rest time; Keith relaxed easily into the daily rhythm & was less anxious. I structured our home life based on Silver Wattle’s daily rhythm. Keith became much less anxious at home as well. Quaker meeting for worship at home each morning, just the two of us, became a precious time of “God with us.” We had not shared personal spiritual practice previously. Now we began to share more deeply each day beyond mor- ning worship. I had a devotional book, and I often found something that “spoke to my condition,” such as Jocelyn Bell Burnell’s statement: Sometimes religion appears to be presented as offering easy cures for pain: have faith and God will mend your hurts; your wounded-ness will be healed … The beatitude “blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted,” is not promising to take away our pain, ... but that God will cherish us and our wound, and help us draw a blessing from our distressed state. In the same year as Keith’s diagnosis, I received a “prompting” to study spiritual direction. I was shocked to hear myself say, “I want to be a spiritual director like you.” I assured myself that I was carried away by the retreat experi- ence. Some 5 years after Keith’s diagnosis, I was at Silver Wattle Quaker Cen- tre. As I walked in, a bright light struck and a voice boomed, “You will study spi- ritual direction.” I enrolled in the master’s degree course. I wondered just what I had committed to do. Spiritual direction or companionship inspires people to experience authenticity in their lives as they connect with and explore the ground of all being, that deepest of truths which is beyond life and death and goes by many names, including God, and no name at all.” How can we experience authenticity in this new kind of life? How can I combine the demands of caregiving with a course of even part-time study? Return to Darkness/ Finding a Little Light—I had been able to com- plete the required preliminary study for the spiritual direction course; a family member stayed with Keith while I was away. The deadline for re-enrolling after a 2-year break was looming. When the doctor said that Keith needed residential aged care, I was heart-broken; I knew the doctor was right. At the care home, I tricked him into entering, saying “Let’s have coffee at this motel.” We waited for the coffee to arrive. I got up and went home. I felt ashamed and guilty, a betrayer of Keith’s trust; I also felt relief. [Ori- ginally his stay was to be for 2 weeks. I realized the next day that I could no lon- ger care for Keith at home; that realization came upon me like hitting a wall. I knew that I had given my utmost to the caregiving task at home; that part of my caregiving task was completed; I had done what was required of me. What about our relationship, now that we would live separately for the rest of Keith’s life? Keith was angry at being there, and not ready for this “for a long time yet.” He wanted to go to “the big house with lots of stuff in it.” I could not calm him down when he was anxious; the doctor finally saw Keith’s anxiety for him- self and prescribed a sedative. One by one, all the things I didn’t want for Keith were challenged: he was now confined; his care was in the hands of strangers; and he was medicated. I feared loss of control and the unknown. [What was my most basic fear?] What do I need to do about my fear? Keith’s medicated behavior was more calm and lucid, less confused, and he smiled a lot; he accepted his situation more easily. Those taking care of Keith were not strangers, but members of the community known to me; they loved the residents. My visits to Keith were very emotional. While watching the lorikeets, we held hands and cried a lot. The love and care of the home’s care- givers [was evident] and flowed onto me. Caregivers would give me a hug, sit with me over tea, and tell me good things about Keith and how he was settling in; I was greeted by name. My son-in-law took Keith out on the boardwalk, something I was afraid to do. The ice around my heart melted when I found the Keith had happily returned to his new home after his walk on the boardwalk. By the time the school holidays were over, Keith and I were going out together as a couple. This was yet another new phase of our marriage. The spiritual bond be- tween us was still there. Dementia could not take away that bond. Now freed from the day-to-day demands of keeping Keith safe, I concentrated on the qua- lity of our relationship. I still cried nearly every day, bereft; I could not pray; God seemed very far away. Since I had learned that the dark night of the soul can presage a spiritual awakening to the core of one’s being, I tried to welcome this dark time, and to reach God in the darkness. When I told my spiritual director I couldn't pray, she said she prayed for me. How does someone praying for me fill in my own prayer blanks? Knowing this often brought to my mind images of light. How did Light protect me from utter darkness? How did Keith’s love protect me from complete darkness? I had protected him; now he again was protecting me. More Light/ Near the End?—We found favorite places in the care home, especially a lounge with a large picture window overlooking the lagoon and trees; we could hear the waves crashing. When I asked Keith about the waves, he said, “Yes, I like it here. Aboriginal people are here.” [At first I thought he meant currently]; When he said, “They are here,” I realized he was feeling the presence of people who had been in this place, perhaps for thousands of years, perhaps not so long ago. [He felt the same way about Silver Wattle Qua- ker Centre, which he wanted to visit]. I started a little ritual at a beautiful spot close to the beach, which be- came a time of worship, of thanksgiving, of love unspoken, of a tender uplifting up to God in our silence. I was graced to carry a measure of that silence and love. That silence existed even through spoken words. It is my experienced con- viction that holding a deep silence together connects us with God; spoken word arises out of that silence and continues it. I found words being given to me as I was speaking to Keith, words that I wasn't forming consciously. [I was aware of] being used as a channel for conveying God’s love for Keith, but only after Keith died; it felt humbling and uplifting. Near the End—Keith had been living at the care home for 3 years; it was home. Forecasted catastrophic bushfire conditions for the forests surroun- ding the care home forced the evacuation of the care home for 2 weeks. The re- sidents would be taken to another care home many hours drive away. “This will kill Keith,” I told her; those words proved prophetic. While we were away, it be- came clear that Keith was on his final pathway. The care home was made “fire ready” for another catastrophic fire warning. I stayed one night in the room next to his. The next morning I returned home. Now I visited Keith twice a day; I read well-known writings by early Qua- kers and the gospels. [E.g.]: Issac Penington—“Our life is love and peace and tenderness; and bearing one with another, and forgiving one another, and not laying ac- cusations one against another, but praying for another, and helping one another up with a tender hand." John 14: 1-4—Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many room; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to where I am going. I felt sure that not only Jesus, but also Keith would return to take me with him when my own time on earth was finished. Keith died at dawn, a fiery red dawn. A summer thunder storm gathered over the mountains. I gazed out the windows, listening to the peals of thunder, [which to me] were drum rolls as Keith entered the Pearly Gates. The clouds parted briefly in the west to reveal a dazz- ling light of the heavenly beyond. I knew then that Keith had gone beyond. A neighbor had photographed this “window to heaven,” light soaring out, and emailed it to me; it reminds me of life beyond death. The Gifts of the Caregiving Journey—Both Keith & I were graced with many gifts along our journey. Caregiving gave me the extraordinary gift of noti- cing. I noticed Keith’s person-hood more & more; his innate gentleness, faithful- ness, and kindness. I hadn’t thought about these wonderful qualities for a long time. I began to appreciate Keith as my life partner more fully; I found affirmation of our spiritual journey; I rediscovered the power of prayer; I became aware that I can control nothing. I lost all fear; I was content to let this moment happen. I tried to notice nudges and prompts for the next step; God was with me as my spiritual director; I was being helped, rightly led to being faithful. [There is spiritual direc- tion in caregiving and caregiving in spiritual direction]. Keith’s gifts were: recall dysfunction; remembering meaningful things in his life; continuing to fulfill his teaching vocation; and showing Spirit working in him in his love of nature. [He seemed not to miss memories of his illustrious aca- demic career as a geologist]. I could see from his open wondering face that he was in peace. We were still so present for each other in the midst of dementia. Keith-with-dementia and Anne-as-caregiver was just a different phase of our re- lationship. My lived experience of his dementia and the caregiving has been a great gift for my life. Epilogue & Ecclesiastes—The Coronavirus Pandemic spread to our area shortly after Keith died. Keith’s funeral was held in person; many former colleagues and students attended and bushfire smoke hung in the air. Keith’s [grave was the first dug in] in a new section of the lawn cemetery; a student re- marked, “Keith continues to break new ground.” I arranged a 3-month sojourn at Silver Wattle Quaker Centre in the winter. It was a time apart, a spiritual retreat, a time of healing, reflecting, and the writing about my spiritual journey [that led to this pamphlet]. This is the story of the benefits and pleasures that dementia brought to Keith and me. Ecclesiastes 5: 18 & 20: How good, how lovely it is to eat & drink/ and find satisfaction in everything we do under the sun/ during the few days of life God gives us … If we embrace whatever comes,/ we never need to brood over the shortness of life,/ for God will keep our hearts filled with joy. Queries—What role has caregiving played in your life? How has dementia touched your life? How have you experienced a Dark Night of the Soul? What was it like? What sustained you? What lay on the other side? What sustained you? What did you learn of Self & Spirit? How might we as individuals and communities support the spiritual paths of the caregivers among us?478. Abraham, Sarah, Hagar, and Us: Using Family Systems Therapy to Understand and Dismantle Oppression (Janaki Spickard Keeler; 2022) About the Author: Janaki Spickard Keeler is a writer, family therapist, mother and lifelong Quaker; editor of Pendle Hill pamphlets and coordinator of the Friends Counseling Service of Philadelphia YM. This pamphlet was her final project for her Participating in God’s Power class at the School of the Spirit. [Introduction]—People unload their negative emotions, often to those nearest them. [When my father yelled at me,] “DON’T DO THAT,” I unloaded mine onto the cat, the only one there with less power than me, instead of yelling at father. I am a therapist in family therapy. Families can be bastions of strength and resilience and/ or the place where we’re dealt our deepest wounds. Many is-sues come up around power: who has it, who uses it & to what effect. A parent's power is normal & right if the power is used for the benefit of all. The use and misuse of family power is mirrored at the societal level as well; family system therapy tools can help us heal here too. “Hurt people hurt people.” People who cause the most harm have histo-ries with trauma early in life. If people in power don’t deal with trauma without harming others, their damage can be hard to stop; those they hurt may go on to
hurt others. [For faith’s impact on my work], I here turn to the story of Abraham’s near-sacrifice of his son Isaac (Genesis 17-22); it perfectly illustrates what harm misuse of power can cause. It is a story with layers and complex family dynamics that when brought to the surface can help see more deeply into our present life. Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar are both traumatized and complicit in the violence committed. The Binding of Isaac [Christian] or Akedah [Jewish] Story—God told Abraham his descendants would be as “uncountable as the stars.” When Sarah was 90, God told them that Sarah would bear a son; they both laughed. [Later Isaac was born]; his name means “laughter.” In Genesis 22 God “tested” Abraham. Abraham built an altar and bound his son & drew his knife to kill Isaac as the burnt offering. Abraham was told not to harm the child & that “now I know you fear God … I will indeed bless you and give you numerous offspring … be-cause you have obeyed my voice.” The classic interpretation is we must always do what God asks even to giving up everything we value. Abraham was seen as righteous, the perfect patri-arch, extremely faithful to God. I find this story horrific. The idea that God is as-king for this violent act as a test of faith makes me physically ill; Abraham’s pas-sive acceptance is even worse. My country took guidance from this and other stories, and reenacted age- old narratives of power through genocide, slavery, and exploitation. How can I worship a God who can ask Abraham to murder his son; how do I find that of God there? How do I come to terms with a religion and a country rooted in violence and abuse of power? How can our ad-dicted world “change the prevailing narrative of trauma and abuse?” How do we redeem the stories our society tells? How do we decide whether to leave out this Abraham story or seek a [deeper] truth in a deeper reading of it?
[We have to] consider that early Quakers talked of living in total accord with the Inward Christ, and to follow God’s will even unto death. Some did sacri-fice everything—reputation, property, freedom, livelihood, family relationships, even their lives—to follow faithfully. There’s something beautiful & powerful that’s worth following in their example. In the language of family system therapy, the Binding of Isaac is a microcosm of larger family dynamics and societal dynamics; it can teach us much when carefully examined. Abraham: Reading 1—The idea that God was testing Abraham' faith and expecting blind obedience is not something I hold with. It is important to discern whether the voice I hear is really God talking. Friends pastor Micah Bales writes: When I hear this story, [I must ask]: What does it mean to sacrifice my Isaac? … What are we being called to surrender so that we can be more fully embraced by God? God is asking: Do you trust me enough to let of everything in this world that connects us? Do you love me more than my gifts, more than my promises, more than my presence in your life? Abraham gives himself to God unconditionally even if it means the loss of his ideas about God.We can live the paradox of a world of pain, suffering, and oppression and still dis-cover a hope that will meet us and sustain us in the depths of our pain; a promise that love is never wasted. What do I cling tightly to, afraid I’d be undone by the losing thereof? How could these things be blocking me from embra-
cing the Divine? What keeps me separate and isolated from God and others? We can draw on tradition to help us with surrender and self-examination. Early Quakers found holding their lives up to the Light was not a comfortable or reassuring practice. Margaret Fell wrote: “It will rip you up and lay you open, and make all … the secret subtlety of the enemy of your souls manifest. They un-earthed parts of themselves they'd rather not know, parts that were not aligned with the Spirit … Come, be searched and judged, led and guided.” They can be things easy to see in others but difficult to recognize in one-self. The sin of internalized racism hurts all of us, oppressors and oppressed alike. Those benefiting from racists systems hang on to comfort, wealth, and pri-vilege only by putting up a wall between us and other people and God. A racist status quo costs us true compassion, community, and recognition of that of God in everyone. How is the Abraham story a call to radical faithfulness that re-connects us? Reading 2—Novelist Dan Simmons’ interpretation is that God tested Abraham's spiritual maturity. Up until this time in the Hebrew Bible, the relation-ship between God and man is one of authority and obedience. Like any parent of a young child, God has to say “no” a lot for the humans’ own good, and insist on absolute obedience to rules they don’t understand. This is responsible use of power and authority with someone still developing a reasoning capacity. Part of parenting is letting your child grow up. Eventually, the child inter-
nalizes the parent's authority and starts to understand “right and wrong” without
external guide. The relationship moves towards that of equals. As maturity in-creases, simple obedience is not necessarily the faithful path. In the maturity test, God would expect Abraham to question the contradiction of being asked to do an evil thing. Abraham failed the test in this story. Sarah—Her husband Abraham believes he is divinely led; he acts without input and she suffers the consequences. Isaac, the powerless child also suffers. What would it be like knowing your father would willingly murder you be-cause his God told him to? Quaker women would tell him, “Isaac isn't yours to sacrifice.” Laws and patriarchs think they own the child, but there is a deeper law in the heart that almost every person who bears a child knows. Sarah, no matter how faithful she was personally, would never understand God’s request or Abra-ham's willingness; it would be betrayal and murder. Phillip Gulley writes:
The vestiges of Abraham's god are still with us … in the compelling of a woman to bear a child she had no say in creating and offering no as- sistance afterwards … single mothers have 2 & 3 jobs & still cannot sup- port their families … fathers making war that cost mothers their children. I heard wonderful things about Abraham, but any man willing to do that to a child is flat out nsane. I don’t care what voice he heard. Sarah stopped living with him after that... They died apart and estranged ... I like Sarah when she said, “I would rather live alone than with a man who would place our child on an altar & slice him open.” I am done with Abraham and his god. I stand with the god of Sarah. So much of my own experience involves men doing things that don't take my well-being, rights, or emotions into account. How could Sarah fail to [feel out-rage] when Abraham was willing to take away the boy she waited 90 years for, while enduring society's judgment and contempt. I discovered there is an entire system of overt and covert sexism that privileges the male voice in ways large and small. But that of God within us knows the truth. The Light can help us discern what is holy and what is sin. Abraham was a righteous man, we are told. She trusted him. He betrayed that trust. I can imagine Sarah learning to cry silently in the night, because even tears are a challenge to patriarchy. From this story’s view-point, she seemed an innocent victim, part of Abraham's sacrifice. If only it were that simple. What I missed in my initial struggles with this story was its context, which I overlooked in being preoccupied with the traumatic event in the Binding of Isaac. Events like this are generally part of a pattern of extreme behavior, that family systems reenact over and over again, searching for a different result. What power did Sarah have and how did she use it? What trauma did Sarah create? Sarah lived in a patriarchal culture. Sarah must have been devastated, going childless for years, not fulfilling her most important duty of bearing chil-
dren. Abraham lied about being her brother in Egypt, for fear of being killed asher husband. The Pharaoh took Sarah for a wife. Sarah’s consent over whodid what with her body did not matter in her culture. All parties may come to be-lieve that it was not rape, including the woman. It’s easier to avoid dealing with a trauma if you don’t let yourself believe that any trauma happened. Years before Isaac came, Sarah told her husband to take her slave Hagar to impregnate her. Abraham's son by Hagar was Ishmael, and Abraham's heir. The Bible tells us this in a straightforward manner that indicates there is nothing wrong with this plan, until Hagar conceived and “looked with contempt on her mistress.” Abraham gave Sarah permission to deal with Hagar however she wanted; Sarah “dealt harshly with her.” Hagar was probably a teenager and an Egyptian foreigner. The plan of fulfilling Gods’ covenant with Abraham by raping a powerless teenager, & then leaving that teenager to suffer the violent jealousy of the woman who had arranged the rape, upset Hagar enough for her to run away out into the desert, risking death rather than further oppression. An angel of the Lord found her and shared God’s plan to “multiply her offspring [into a] multitude … you shall name [your son] Ishmael [‘God hears’].” Hagar names God El-Roi [“God who sees]. We hear nothing of Hagar’s and Ishmael’s treatment until Isaac was born, and Sarah realized how small Isaac’s inheritance would be. She told Hagar to cast Hagar and Ishmael into the wilder-ness. Hagar couldn't bear to watch Ishmael die and sat a ways away from him. God revealed water to them and stayed with them. With an Egyptian wife, Ish-mael had 12 sons, “princes according to their tribes.” Many of them became Muslims in the 600s C.E (Christian Era). 2 women raped; 2 children sacrificed. Family therapists call this repeti-tion of trauma repetition compulsion. They keep trying to get it right, but the un-conscious forces are too strong and the trauma is repeated. Family patterns repeat themselves again and again, often extending into the next generation at crisis points; everyone in the family is retraumatized. There is a temporary sta-bility that feels “normal” [until the cycle is ready to repeat]. Breaking the cycle requires identifying the destructive pattern and inter-rupting it to give the family new options. When hearing this biblical story, a family therapist might think: Sarah trained Abraham to sacrifice a son, & created conditions that would further traumatize her. By setting up her stepson’s attemp-ted murder, she was complicit in the attempted murder of her own son. If I am not willing to worship Abraham's God, how can I worship Sarah’s God? Us: Bringing it Home—What does this story tell me about my own life and society? Just as Sarah clung to her privilege and complicity, her inno-cence, I have clung to mine and prospered, while the social system dominated, oppressed and often destroyed minorities and working-class people for the sake of richer people's ease. I live in one of the poorest-performing school districts in the nation. How am I ready to fight my city’s school system, seeking better education for all? By the time the fight is won, my son will be grown and will not have received the education he needs. I could move, but by using my privi-lege, I am complicit in those school’s failure to serve the children who need an education every bit as much as my son. Layers of complicity sustain our society's racial and economic oppression, including religious complicity. Theft of land and resources in the New World was built on the Christian church's moral justification that “heathens” did not have the same rights or personhood as Christians. Sarah and Abraham's treatment of Hagar is very reminiscent of the systematic rape of 100,000s of enslaved women in pre-Civil War U.S. That trauma has echoed down the centuries, reinforced by several things, including institutional racism. The white wives chose to protect themselves and their family's stability and continued to benefit from enslaved people's labor. Since trauma perpetuates itself, is it any wonder racial trauma is embedded in the U.S’s values and institutions? Is a willingness to escape city schools a choice to sacrifice ano-ther’s child? I’ve worked with homeless people who are smarter than many of my graduate school colleagues, but who can’t break out of a rigged system; the public school system failed them. This is systemic racism and I am complicit. Both sins of commission and omission cause harm to victims and perpetrators. If I prioritize my comfort and my child’s safety, am I not moving my self away from Divine Guidance and the Beloved Community, not toward it? Family Systems Therapy and Healing our Society—How do we resist systems in which we are complicit? How do we contribute to dismantling them & the premises they are built on? Everyone in a family has a role in the things that work, and the things that don't. If one person changes, the rest of the family is forced to shift in some way. The family therapist accompanies the family as individuals and as a group through the growing pains as they implement their new way of relating. Polarization is a trauma response. When I look at our polarized society, my better self sees that there is trauma that needs to be healed. We’ll continue to enact our trauma on others until we can recognize the healing that needs to take place, and take steps toward change. Our work of healing our society and our-selves of complicity in oppression involves being willing to surrender much that we cherish because those things stand in the way of fully embracing and being embraced by God. We have to give up the premises that built white supremacy and that per-meate every part of our legal, social and religious systems. Folks wrestling with acceptance of their sexuality and Black Quakers have asked for acceptance as full community members. When an inability to access or follow the promptings of Truth in their own hearts cause relationships and institutions to splinter, that is not the fault of the people who reached out. Change and healing only happen when the most powerful members of the family get on board and listen to the less powerful ones. Child-peacemakers can make peace, but it is tenuous and detrimental to the child. Our society won't begin to heal until the “victors” realize their complicity comes at a cost to their own well-being. Oppressive gender roles hurt the oppressors and oppressed. Racism pre-vents provision of basic social safety nets, like child care, health care, welfare. Healing from collective trauma benefits all of us, materially and spiritually. We need to identify how we keep reenacting the same traumas again and again, and make plans for breaking the patterns we have inherited. It takes courage, vulner-ability, standing in our Truth, and openness to changing and being changed; it takes asking the Spirit for guidance. What Can Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar Teach Us?—When have we allowed injustice in the name of keeping and maintaining order [e.g. allowing Sarah to mistreat Hagar]? When have we prioritized our own children or side, over others [e.g. Sarah with her Isaac]? When have we done some-thing wrong, when we thought it was right and Spirit-led [e.g. Abraham's at-
tempted sacrifice of Isaac]? When we open ourselves to healing, and we begin to build relationships with the Divine & with other people, an instinct toward justice, caring, and community emerges. Healing takes intentional work, but the Spirit will guide our steps. The story used here is troubling and we should be troubled by it. But God had a plan and made use of Abraham even with his shortcomings; a highly imper-fect man became the founder of 3 faiths. We do not have to be perfect to be wor-thy of a role in the divine plan or a place in the Beloved Community; we arrive al-ready loved. A Personal Reflection—In an extended worship in 2020, the Spirit gave me a message: When we make others into the Other, when we demonize them, and forget their humanity, we are doing violence to our own … This adds fuel to the fire of dissension, rather than seeking common ground … Each human being was shaped by God and contains a vital part of the truth … Yes, we have vital truths that they need to know. They too, have vital truths for us. We must dwell in our truths while reaching out to help them live & share theirs … with all dwelling in the deeper Truth. Spending time with disagreeable others is not what I want to do with my life. Being in relationship with them requires a grounding in my own Truth I don’t always have. I let this ministry work on me slowly; the Inward Light illuminated a piece of my life that is out of divine order. The story presented here illuminates some deep truths about creating the Other out of people who are [too] different. It is easy to slip into dehumanizing the other. We distance ourselves from our [“That of God and theirs], from our instincts toward love, humanity, compassion, and empathy. I had to pass an overwhelming number of homeless on my way to work. I could give to one, but had to pass by another 9. It is harmful to keep gagging our impulses toward community; it is harmful to ignore suffering. In being willing to deny the other’s humanity, we set up a system in which our own humanity will not be respected. We have created an ideology that is willing to throw away human lives. What we do to the least of these, we do to ourselves. Queries—How do we discern when obedience is the Spirit-led path and when we are ready for the more mature path of partnership? Do I follow Abraham's God or Sarah’s? How do we repeat the same traumatic compulsions over and over again throughout our history without escaping from the trauma cycle? How are we complicit in oppressive systems? How does that complicity set us up to be victimized ourselves? How do we interrupt systems of oppression we are embedded in? How has God called and how is God calling us this work? How do
we ensure we use our power in ways that serve the greater good? How are we led to be in relationship with the Other? What roles do education and the Spirit have in this process? How do we root ourselves in our own Truth while being open to being changed by the Truth others carry? What does living in the Cross look like for you personally and the Religious Society of Friends? 
479. Plain Talk about Dying: Spiritual effects of Taking my Father off Life
Support (by Shulamith Clearbridge: 2023) About the Author—Shulamith Clearbridge is a member of Swarthmore MM in PA, an interfaith spiritual director, writer, workshop and retreat leader.
She has worked in acting, singing and medical intuitive & energy work. [Exam-
ples of her writings] are: Finding God: Prayers and Spiritual Practices from
Many Traditions and Recovery: Women’s Words about Healing after Trauma.
Between a Rock and a Hard Place—In January of 2016, I was faced with making decisions about my father's future. He was 99 ¾ and his primary
wishes were: extreme measures to save my life; no nursing home. The options
I was faced with were: Should we leave him on the respirator and move him to a nursing home? Should we turn off the machine and let nature take
its course? What choices should I make when all the choices are things I don’t want?
My father had congestive heart failure and was suffering; he couldn't speak and was too weak to move his body. He would fiddle with his IV or dis-lodge his oxygen mask; his hands were tied to the bedrails when alone; seeing his hands tied broke my heart. My father was a cantor, who leads the singing
parts of worship; he still directed us when we sang in his room. He wanted so
much to live to his 100th birthday. How much worse would he get in 3
months? Would we be letting him or forcing him to live until then? This
situation was all wrong.
We Remember Them— ... As long as we live, they too will live; for they
are now a part of us,/ as we remember them.
Telling My Father—The doctor couldn't keep my father in the hospital, because there were no more treatments to try. Our options were stop doing
everything to save his life or put him in a nursing home—the opposite of what he
wanted. Who would talk to my father about these unacceptable options?
My mother was the best at talking to him but couldn't hear well enough or talk
loud enough. My brother didn’t want to do it while he was crying; his wife said
“no,” which left me.
I opened my mouth to tell him, but nothing came out. How do you tell someone they won’t recover, that they must choose life tied to a bed or
death? God gave me the idea to ask if he wanted to leave it to my mother. He
nodded yes. “Letting nature take its course” required a slow reduction of heart
treatment and then of supplying oxygen, taking between a few hours and a few
weeks, depending on how well he adjusted to each change. My mother said, “I
don’t want people to say I murdered my husband.” The doctor said that it wasn’t
murder, because my father would have died already without the respirator and:
“Every decision you are making is out of love. Every decision you’re making is
out of compassion, and love.
“Blessed Are You Who Bear the Light”—Blessed are you/ who bear the light/ in unbearable times,/ who testify/ to its endurance/ amid the unendu-
rable,/ … In the deepest night/ can be seen/ the fire that/ shines forth in you/
in unaccountable faith,/ in stubborn hope,/ in love that illumines/ every broken
thing/ it finds.//
The Decision—The discussion was harrowing. Finally, my mother deci-
ded to take him off the machine the next evening, to allow family and friends
who wanted to visit time to come. Then, a family member against removing the
respirator found an alternative, [put my mother into agony again] feeling it was
like murder. We—her 2 children would have to decide. What kind of life is it if
every time you wake up you don’t know where you are and your hands
are tied to the bedrails? What would watching him live like that do to my mother? What would her life be as she spent every day with him, in
hospital and rehab? She was too old to keep this up. Could we stand it? My brother decided to “let him go.” My choice would decide if my father
lived or died that night. I agreed to stop the machine. We decided with compas-
sion, with love, but still it felt devastatingly wrong to make this choice for another
person. This was not a “clean” decision; my father was still taking what action
he could for his health, trying to strengthen himself. Subconsciously he must
have known, but he looked so shocked when I told him the doctor said he
wouldn't recover.
Your Triumphant Song (by Rumi)—On that final day/ When my casket moves along/ Do not think my soul/ will stay in this world … What appears to
you as a setting/ is for me a rising/ What appears to you as a prison/ is for my
soul an endless garden.
Letting Go/ Death/ Guilt—My mother wouldn't let us tell my father our
decision. [I felt unable] to ask for her reasoning or to disagree. Did my father
know it was his last night? How could he not know? He didn’t ask. [Telling
him] the decision would have made it his choice. This ate at me. I called friends
until I reached someone, and she listened while I cried and blathered and unbur-
dened myself until I felt ready to let my father go. [My mother had me “dismiss”]
the extended family; it was silly for them to stay & she didn’t want to deal with
them. Remaining was my brother, his wife, his grown daughter, my mother and
myself. [What was predicted] to take “20 minutes,” took several hours. My father remained alert through 6 shots of morphine and our singing, and was now wea-
ring only the light oxygen cannula.
…You will remove my mourning clothes and encircle me with joy …/
You will turn the curse into a blessing .../ Peace, peace to those far and
near, says the Lord and/ I will heal them .../ the Lord will give me strength
… God will make my wilderness like Eden, … Joy & gladness will be found
there,/ thanksgiving and the sound of singing. His breathing rate dropped far down, but he didn't die after 5 hours. My
mother waited and waited. Finally she said, “That’s all, I have to go home.” [I
could not let mother go home with only a caregiver. I felt a duty to be with my
mother and a yearning to stay with my father. I was full of rage, [and blamed]
the family member who sought another opinion for the delay that led to this
situation. In the end, I was unable to accompany my father through his death,
or to wash him, or dress him, or bless him. Had I been with him I would have
seen the miracle of his life leaving his body. A loss like this can never be made
up for. I felt unable to drive safely, so my brother drove us. My brother race
back to the hospital and missed my father’s death by minutes; I felt at fault and
guilty. Hospice professionals told me that most likely my father was waiting to
die until we 3 left. Even though he had agreed to leave it to Mom, I still felt like
we killed him; I killed him. The choice haunted me; I had nightmares of him sit-
ting up in the casket. Everything I read said that we didn’t cause his death; we
stopped artificially preventing it. Weeks later I was still looking for what others
had to say, such as: “No matter what you decide, you will feel terrible about it.”
[No matter how right your decision feels, you will struggle to forgive yourself for
making it].
[I kept myself very busy after his death], working to provide caregivers
and arranged household matters for my mother. She fell and broke her arm, and
subsequent arrangements were always changing as her needs changed. After
some months I set aside time to grieve, which I did at an inn on a Vermont lake.
My father spoke to me there as I journaled, saying things I never would have
imagined. He was wiser, softer, and said that I had done the right thing and:
The main important thing is to love people; don’t stop … Forget
“Purpose” with a capital P. Just let your love flow & God will take care of everything else. Find something to love in every moment.
Put one foot in front of the other and love the step. God will help
you.
I kept telling myself that we didn’t cause his death; we stopped preventing it.Months later, I still felt guilty.
For this anguish has pursued my soul;/ it crushes to the ground my life;/ I dwell in darkness, [like the eternally dead.] My spirit within me is
overwhelmed: my heart is shocked .../ Teach me to do Thy will, for thou
art my God;/ guide me on a level land/ Revive me, bring forth out of dis-
tress my soul./ And in Thy kindness, melt away all that afflicts my soul;/
for I am Thy servant.
Working through the Trauma—[My meeting] was very supportive for 2
weeks after he died; after that, no one asked how I was doing or invited me to
talk about my father. Close friends were unwilling to listen. Perhaps the ones
who loved me suffered [too much] in the listening. I felt estranged from my
meeting and had to turn to strangers to have enough time to speak my feelings.
I joined a grief writing group to have a structure through which to write the story
of our unresolved grief. The first ending of my story was … “he never did learn
how to die. We had to kill him.” After 6 weeks, it was “… he never did learn how
to die. We had to help him.” My heart finally understood that death was there all
along. I didn’t bring it.
They told me it took courage to accept making the choice when no one else
would. A friend later wrote: I understand why [they] wanted anyone else to carry what you ended
up carrying ...[I have] deep compassion for the burden you took on and
admiration that … [you made] a decision when there were no “good” de-
cisions to make.”
I felt undeserving of compassion. Then I felt my father's presence; his hand was
on my shoulder. I later wrote: “God finds no need to forgive me; God simply loves
that I loved, and that I struggle.” I visited my mother and we visited the grave-
side. At first my father was there; the grave was full of life and meaning. Then it
was just a stone and I said goodbye. There was a place [for others] next to my
father. Death is normal. Death is coming. I didn’t bring it.
Spiritual Repercussion: Love and Forgiveness/ Large Questions—
[My decisions for my father brought many enormous spiritual repercussions; there were smaller changes in perception, outlook, and acceptance of myself
and others. I expect insight and change will continue. Here are some observa-
tions from my journal: [I saw writing-group members around town]; they looked normal and not in crisis. Everyone I see probably loves someone dearly, and
may be mourning them, missing them … There is so much pain …
[dying … mourning] in the world: it all shouts “Love! Love! I have been
loved! I have lost someone I loved! I see love in [everyone], and their
best possible self.
I forgave myself, but with my mother's care, now out of my hands—
I again feel my best is not good enough. She is nearly 103. Self-forgive-
ness may be a perpetual need through the rest of my life as people I
love die, if I cannot ease their way.
Jewish prayer [excerpt]—In life and in death we cannot go where
you are not, and where You are, all is well. How important is death? How can I embrace death as the natural
end of the gift of being alive, as rejoining God? Why don’t we all look forward to it? How can I accept suffering? How important is suffe-
ring? Who am I not to expect to suffer or for my loved ones to suffer?
What is the meaning of life? What’s the use of life?
Later, I discovered how to find meaning in death and suffering—and in
life. We make the meaning in the moment, in every aspect of our lives.
Moments that increase love, or bring compassion, or when I am of use, make
my life meaningful. [Believing] that dying “happens to us” is disempowering and
means loss of control. If we accept or even welcome death and live our death,
we regain control & retain power & meaning. At the end of our life we are both
living and dying at the same time. They are not opposites.
No Death, No Fear (by Thich Nhat Hanh)—Breathing in and out, I am
aware of the fact/ that I am of the nature to die … to grow old … to get sick … Everything I cherish, treasure, and cling to today,/ I will have to abandon
one day./ We must recognize this reality and smile.
Spiritual Repercussions: Transformations—[What will I do if] I end up in a body that can’t communicate? What would I require of friends or
family if they were deciding life or death for me? What will my end be like:
a soaring end; enfolded in joy; surrounded in healing energies healed out
of this life into [new] creation, love and transformation?
When you see someone suffering, even when there's no way you could have seen more, known more, done more, most of us feel guilty about our limita-
tions. “There's no perfect caregiver, no perfect daughter, as there is no perfect
parent. You were good enough. All the wise advice I got helped my logical mind,
but it did not help my hurt heart, & after too long of a time of caring for an elder, it
didn't help my family, and it broke. This experience forged in me an intensity of
compassion & has brought me to hold more loosely those I love.
It has brought me closer to God. During all the long years, I needed to rely
so much on God. Every rip, every opening, let more God in. I had to find joy in
every day, to balance [all the different pains]: my parents’ pain and sorrow; not
knowing each morning if they were still alive; watching my family fracture; my
regrets; my perceived failures; guilt, real and imagined. My joy kept my soul
from being destroyed. I had to anchor in the permanence of the Divine. Feeling my father's presence for several years after his death helped me
enormously in working through my grief. The simple companionship of a few
wise friends helped. The events around my father's death is a serious, weighty,
but it no longer jabs at my heart. I pray that if someone else must decide if it is
her time, that they will be merciful. [Shulamith’s mother died a few days before
her 103rd birthday, calmly and comfortably in home hospice].
A time of loss, a time of change,/ A time of confusion, a time of sorrow,/
A time of darkness covers the land … The past will always be a part of
us./ The loss, pain, and new levels of perceptions merge/ To move us
forward./ Life opens to be lived fully again. Queries: If you have made life-and-death decision for another per-
son, what helped you discern the best way forward? How was the Spirit
a part of your decision-making? If not, how would you approach such a
decision? Do your spiritual and secular communities have resources
available? How have you discussed your end-of-life wishes? What
questions were raised? How can we best support people making these
difficult decisions, as an individual, or as part of a community? How do
we support people in healing without imposing ideas of the Divine different
from their own? What spiritual lessons have you learned from grieving?
480. Forgiveness: Freed to Love (by Christine Betz Hall; 2023) About the Author—Christine Betz Hall is a Quaker educator, retreat lea-
der, and spiritual director. She has Catholic roots and a hospitable spirit, which
helps grow others’ inner lives and strengthen everyday ministry. She founded Way of the Spirit in 2021; its participants have experienced forgiveness setting
them free to bring energy to their unique faithfulness. She taught at Seattle Uni-
versity’s School of Theology and Ministry.
[Introduction/ Re-framing Forgiveness—My purpose here isn't to draw
a map to forgiveness, or plot a new course for readers, but to draw attention to the human, authentic experience of forgiveness. I seek to chart routes toward
renewed freedom to love. How do we forgive: ourselves, others, reality, or the Divine? How does personal forgiveness affect our relationship with
social change based on correcting historical wrongs? Forgiveness is simply release into the Spirit. When we let go into the Divine, we can better respond to
our present situation and the people entangled in our lives. What makes inner release so hard? Forgiveness has been abused
and misused by legalistic forgiveness, unhealthy reconciliation, and misguided
notions of forgiveness. [The definition given in italics above] surprises people &opens new vistas of interior freedom and Spirit-led action. Justice & consequen-ces are worthwhile goals. For our mental and spiritual well-being, we can sepa-rate them from forgiveness. Forgiveness is also not: Forgetting or allowing hurt to Withholding forgiveness of others to
continue; oneself from hurt, betrayal, mistakes
About getting any results other Withholding forgiveness of reality to
than forgiver’s holistic healing have a false sense of control
Letting someone off with no con- Withholding forgiveness from oneself
sequences Excluding God as someone you need to forgive The important characters in forgiveness are you and the Divine. The place is on your inner paths. The methods are more prayer than process. Achie-ving forgiveness is dependent on your own sense of completeness or accom-plishment. In releasing, the event no longer exerts power over me; we no longer imagine all sorts of responses or “getting even”; there is no emotional charge. A Holy Healer can fill and repair our soul, and help create goodness from the worst messes; no suffering, no damage is beyond that healing power. Why Forgive—Forgiveness has become suspected of being too simple,trite, or easily misused. What doubts do you have about the invitation to for-give? Whatever we are holding against ourselves, another, groups, reality, or the Divine holds us back; not forgiving harms us. When we forgive, it frees inner resources and energy; it helps grow spaciousness of soul for receiving and offe-ring care, service, or love. Jesus asks us to forgive “70 times 7.”
Human relationships are messy; we can’t keep pretending everything is fine when it isn’t. The messes we make are like tangles. “Tangles are recog-nized by the markers of: defensiveness, resentments, and woundedness erup-ting into wounding others. Forgiveness unravels tangles, people find ways to work together, and the flow of God’s presence among us is restored. How do your ideas about forgiveness serve you, your soul, and your relationshipsto others and the Spirit? An Exercise: The Bitterness of Unforgiveness—The following exer-cise from Awaken your Senses: Exercises for Exploring the Wonder of God uses your unique awareness of taste and smell to access memories; you can interrupt habitual patterns and wander your own map of forgiveness with God. Notice where your body touches floor & seat; notice where tension is in your body.
What are your favorite smells? Try smelling with love. Smell combines with taste to enhance eating. Welcome your senses as pathways for the Spirit, as opportunity for soulful attention, and gifts of incarnation. Then imagine a bitter or repulsive taste and keep it in mind. What does it smell like? What’s the reaction of face, posture or breath? What taste or smell best fits “unforgiveness” for you? The reaction
can be similar to a bitter or repulsive taste; it may carry hints of resent- ment, judgments, or hatred. Ask the Spirit: Where is there bitterness toward myself; where is there bitter root within toward someone else? Do not judge.
Notice any inner bitterness towards the times we live in: political, envi- ronmental, institutional. Ask the Divine to show you any bitterness towards God’s own self.
We cannot move forward in forgiveness until we know every- where it might be helpful; it requires intentional self-searching. What fresh, clean, inviting smell might forgiveness smell like?
How does it bring memories or feelings? Notice any affects on your body. Imagine and ask yourself: How could it permeate and cleanse any bit- terness on your inner palate? When will you be ready or willing to forgive? Our senses offer one way to experience the truth of the cleansing power of God’s nature. It offers a way to describe forgiveness where words fail,
or to bridge the gap where you stumble over my words or examples. I trust andexperience that God is always present and active among us even through painand fractured relationships. Forgiveness is a game-changer. When does for-giveness come more easily to you and when is it more challenging? Which reasons to forgive are more compelling? Which are more com-pelling? What is surprising you about the paradigm of forgiveness as release into the spirit?
An Example of Self-Forgiveness: “If Our Hearts Condemn Us”—Many people find self-forgiveness surprisingly difficult. The bitterness aimed atmy Self can pollute entire days. The early Quaker “accuser” or “adversary,” [orthe modern-day “self-critic”] are not of the Divine. After a big effort in ministry, my inner critic declares my effort not good enough, incompetent and inferior toothers’ efforts. I barely hear the affirmation of others or gratitude. I am intro-verted, perfectionist, approval-seeking, and self-absorbed. Self-forgiveness re-directs me from self-defeating cycles [John 3:20]:
“If our heart condemns us … God is greater than our hearts” The Spirit can love us more than we can. Affirmations: I honor my real feelings and experience. I trust the truth,in perfect divine wisdom, to set me free. I let go of my desire for others’ per-sonality, talents, and gifts. Thank you, Lover of my soul, for the gifts You have guided me to share with others. Thank you for turning my weaknessesinto grace. I know self-forgiveness is “done” when I can recall the good about my-self or what I did; Energy rises; I can be fully present. Warning signs are more obvious, and it’s easier to engage tools; there is less being stuck. Tools for Forgiving—Martin Luther King Jr.’s sermon “Loving Your Enemies” was written in a Georgia prison in 1963. Its context reminds us that developing “the capacity to forgive” is for hard times. We learn from both errors and joys. Tools of forgiving help us identify threads of issues, recognize obstacles, sort emotions, and imagine a different outcome. The different tools are for different types of people. New tools can loosen stuck places. Moving ora creative-expressive process is a good variation for a thinker. It helps to be both curious and gentle with yourself. Growing discernment/ Tending Emotions/ Contemplation—Healthy
forgiveness requires spiritual discernment. The Holy invites us to follow divine guidance through our relationships’ natural tangles. (See appendix for forgive-ness experiments).
Discerning Queries: What do you need in order to move toward the release of forgiving or being forgiven? What is the wound like in you? What image do you have of it? If your emotion has a physical sensa-tion, what is the sensation saying? How do you wish God might help you heal? How might discernment better support your capacity to forgive? I trust that all feelings are welcome in the Spirit, and a compassionate Presence can companion us through [even the most] challenging emotions of grief, anger, shame, helplessness, and vulnerability. Forgiveness with Spirit recognizes and honors true feelings. The Spirit can use them to grow compas-sion, promote powerful social action, and our capacity to love. With forgiveness,actions can flow from an endless loving Mercy even through intense emotion, and we can recover a new kind of wholeness. What is your relationship to your emotions? How do your feelings relate to forgiveness? Forgiveness grows through regular contemplative spiritual practice, the opening of the self to divine Presence. Contemplation can take place in a laby-
rinth, chant, dance, doodling, sitting in mindfulness, or holding a vigil. There is usually no dramatic results; it helps us recognize where forgiveness might be needed. How do you contemplate? How do they help your self-image and your relationships?
An Example of Forgiving Reality/ Trust and Willingness—We haveno control over so much of reality; weather is a potent example. My worries about the Pacific Ocean’s fierce windstorms have led to some helpful emer-gency preparedness. What is a more spiritually healthy way to “wait out the storm?” What happens when I forgive the weather? In responding to reality’s [difficult moments] we may deny, avoid, withdraw, rant, numb, or powerthrough. Naming the truth can provide [a break in our usual response, and a chance to] choose a different path. I’m learning how to release reality in the goodness and care of God, letting go of my fearful expectation in trust. I ask: What would you have me do now? Where in this moment is your love and care? In forgiveness as release, we learn to recognize subtle inner shifts that mark authentic letting go into Spirit with trust and willingness; forgiving be-comes genuinely freeing. To what do we entrust our hurts and inner tangle(e.g. journal, good friend, spiritual companion)? What images or con-
cepts of the Divine might help to you trust? Sometimes our lack of trust in forgiveness grows from our believing [forgiveness will not come] without our involvement, our problem solving, our anger, our controlling the situation. Our sense of control is mostly illusion. What am I believing about holding on to this? What do I think will happen? When we do not forgive, we harm ourselves and imagine it hurt some-one else. Instead of the woundedness of unforgiving, forgiveness frees inner space for the Spirit to guide and animate; Divine Mercy opens up possibilities. The inner yes of willingness may be where forgiveness happens. Consent is the inner yes that we give in worship, Centering Prayer, or meditation. We be-come available for divine initiative beyond our own thoughts and emotions. When all the facets of your being are present and in consensus, your inner Guide can speak through: mind, emotions, body, feelings, or other inner facets.
Jan Wood describes the healthy will of our inner community as the
“oomph,” the energy or vigor leading from thought to action. A well-balanced willavoids thoughtless action or no action. Forgiveness can look like the will [“tur-ning things over to the Spirit], aligning with it. How willing are you to let go ofbitterness within toward yourself, others, reality or God? How am I wil-
ling to forgive? How true is what I believe about the situation, myself,
my feelings? [These questions may lead to forgiveness affirmations]. It helps in exploring your willingness to forgive to start with a small mat-ter. [Be honest] about where you really are with forgiveness. In working with for-giveness we begin to loosen the structures that hold our resentments in place;
Presence fills us & frees us from the past. How have you been recently chal-lenged by “things beyond your control? What familiar responses or images of the Divine serve unforgiveness, rather than forgiveness? How might forgiving realities free you? How could you cultivate willing-ness to forgive? An Example: Forgiveness and the Culture Wars—My sister and I [haddifferent views on how to treat Covid]. She chose no vaccination or hospitaliza-tion, and used a medicine not recommended by mainstream healthcare provi-ders. Political polarization did not prevent us from remaining close. I reacted badly to her choices and said hurtful things. She was also hurt by a friend who had not called. I made a list of things I needed to forgive. I needed to forgive so I could be fully present to my sister. I leaned into our decades of caring friend-ship and God’s bigger love beyond my roiling emotions. I needed to: Notice our inner response; Sort through my confusion of what was mine and what was hers to deal with; Pray through it all; forgive my-self, my sister, the pandemic, and toxic political influences. All this had to hap-pen before I could be fully presence and loving. I wrote her and then had to let go of her part in this reconciliation, and my fears about her reaction to my letter. Things turned out well for both me and my sister’s friend, whose attempts to reach out to her had gone unnoticed. I learned the lessons that the stories we tell ourselves about how we are hurt may not be real. Implications for Faithful Social Activism—How might forgiveness be relevant in healing injustice, inequity, and the earth? While working toward worthwhile social change, the bitterness of unforgiveness may undermine our ef-forts. [Energy is wasted on unforgiveness], and even the best efforts to reform broken situation will perpetuate human tangles. Forgiveness frees invisible resources for kindness, for empathy, for sta-mina; it helps us become peaceful catalysts for God’s commonwealth among us.[Rather than call it “forgiveness,” it might be called “release into the mercy of God.” When we struggle, it helps to trust that God is always forgiving. [With all the human imperfection and unforgiveness, our faith heritage calls us to step into working toward infinite mercy. [Unforgiveness leads to the following outcomes]: We view the other side as immoral, contemptuous, and with hatred.
Being “right” drives us, and there is less seeking of understanding. Being victims of harm or injustice affects our sense of agency and compassion. We are defensive when confronted with our own ignorance or com- plicity in oppressive systems. We view oppressed communities with a sense of guilt duty or penance.
Indigenous leaders warn: “We can’t center work with oppressed on white folks’ desire to feel less bad.” With honest self-reflection and honest feedback from partners, we can better understand thoughts, feelings, and motivations. An Example: Growing Edges/ Love Never Fails—How might forgive-ness navigate a calling to uproot racism, colonialism & white supremacy?
As a descendant of Canadian, American, white European settlers, I share the history of those who murdered, displaced, and oppressed the first inhabitants of this continent’s northeastern region. Some lived in peaceful collaboration with those there before them; their example gives me hope. I support restoring full treaty rights, truth and reconciliation committees, and reparations to Blacks and Indigenous peoples. I have released my white family history into divine Mercy. I am healing the discomfort and defensiveness I have experienced from racial injustice. What responsibilities do I have, given that I am here? I need to recognize the deep moral injury, the disconnect between ideals and reality of past & present violence. I must face a hidden but real personal culpability with-out getting a “free pass.” I am learning to forgive myself for my unearned posi-tion in society and for not acting in solidarity with the oppressed. The release of forgiveness is showing me what to do next.
White people in power have preached a warped forgiveness to help white people feel better instead of freeing their attention to necessary changes. Expecting forgiveness without doing the work of repairing the damage, is unjustand harmful. Forgiveness is practical, revolutionary, & a motion of Love. Lloyd Lee Wilson offers this query [on how we are to live in a world of suffering and
unjust social structures]: How is God leading me to love in this moment, in this broken, suffering world? Queries: [To European whites]: What do you know of your ances-tors’ roles in violently oppressing others? How do you reconcile your ancestors’ wrongs with your own beliefs and values? How do you takeresponsibility, and help make amends for your part in unjust white privi-lege? How might forgiveness energize and free your actions for social change? Appendix of Experiments in Forgiveness:
1. Do, move, enact forgiveness Draw out the pain—drain unforgiveness from your being; refill with God’s radiance. Posture prayer—think of a specific event, move from posture of “unforgiveness” to “forgiveness.” Burn it—write the unforgiven thing on paper; burn it in a bowl. Immerse it—write the unforgiven thing on stone; throw it in a body of water. 2. Engage images Tug of war—imagine the tension between the unforgiven and you; imagine dropping the rope. River of forgiveness—imagine a river of mercy, wonder, and love, washing you, cleansing the unforgiven and healing you. Inner community—imagine an inner dialogue between all aspects of our inner being [Self]. Which aspects need to forgive or be forgiven? Inner House— Imagine your inner being’s [Self’s] like a house. What parts of a house are the positive aspects of your being [Self] like; what house defects are the negative aspects like? Unforgiveness Query—Do I want this [unforgiveness (negative aspect)? Declare your answer, and have some inner Holy Merry Movers haul all your negative aspects away. Then rebuild. 3. Get Creative Draw it—In the middle of a page scribble unforgiven feelings and tangles; surround that doodle with a representation of “Forgiven.” Smell or taste—What scents or flavors represent unforgiveness and forgiveness? 4. Use words Empty chairs—arrange 3 chairs for an imaginary conversation see- king forgiveness: you; unforgiven; Holy Presence. Write and let go—Write what you are releasing and what it means to you. Let go of it in a way meaningful to you. Moan and shout—give your hurt and emotions a voice and noise as to what is tangled.http://www.pendlehill.org/product-category/pamphletswww.facebook.com/pendlehill
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